DarkNick
April 10th, 2012, 05:35 AM
I'm so angry with him...
Everyday I want him away from me more and more...
I'm getting angry with him 'cause of the situation of my family and i'm ''wrong'' from his point of view...
Today, when I woke up the didn't even say good morning he just asked me a thing that he asks me 4 days now and he forgets it. I couldn't hold my anger inside me and I exploded...He calls me a wannabe prince when he and his ego makes me and my mother (he things that my mother is in a mess 'cause of ''situations'' while he make her like that)his slaves...
He can spend money (let's say 600 euro to buy something that he need)
but when we ask more than 200 he gets angry and throw stuff to us...He's acting like a child!
(Yes he's 70 years old, yes he has a stroke but he can't understand that he needs to stop acting that he can do things like used to and he should finally ''retire'' himself...). Heck he doesn't even let my mother drive 'cause he hopes that one day he will be able to...she makes her sad and to be afraid of driving....
But the problem doesn't start from the stroke...
Since I was kid he would show his love only by buying me toys and that was his only ''strong'' threat against me...
Yelling and threating is the things that I remember from my father..Oh and that everything should be done the way he wants.
When I was 7 I had to learn maths or I wouldn't be able to find a job...
When I was 5 I couldn't be friends with the other kids 'cause he had to be friends with their parents and he didn't want that...
When I choosed as lessons in my school the ones that had to do with language over the maths and physics the only thing that I could hear from his mouth was useless and failure....
....
You may understand why he did some things and say oh but he didn't have any other choice but...they made me be in so much pain....I can understand him in some parts as well but my mother and I? Shouldn't we finally exist in his mind (except himself)?
Thanks for the venting...
Everyday I want him away from me more and more...
I'm getting angry with him 'cause of the situation of my family and i'm ''wrong'' from his point of view...
Today, when I woke up the didn't even say good morning he just asked me a thing that he asks me 4 days now and he forgets it. I couldn't hold my anger inside me and I exploded...He calls me a wannabe prince when he and his ego makes me and my mother (he things that my mother is in a mess 'cause of ''situations'' while he make her like that)his slaves...
He can spend money (let's say 600 euro to buy something that he need)
but when we ask more than 200 he gets angry and throw stuff to us...He's acting like a child!
(Yes he's 70 years old, yes he has a stroke but he can't understand that he needs to stop acting that he can do things like used to and he should finally ''retire'' himself...). Heck he doesn't even let my mother drive 'cause he hopes that one day he will be able to...she makes her sad and to be afraid of driving....
But the problem doesn't start from the stroke...
Since I was kid he would show his love only by buying me toys and that was his only ''strong'' threat against me...
Yelling and threating is the things that I remember from my father..Oh and that everything should be done the way he wants.
When I was 7 I had to learn maths or I wouldn't be able to find a job...
When I was 5 I couldn't be friends with the other kids 'cause he had to be friends with their parents and he didn't want that...
When I choosed as lessons in my school the ones that had to do with language over the maths and physics the only thing that I could hear from his mouth was useless and failure....
....
You may understand why he did some things and say oh but he didn't have any other choice but...they made me be in so much pain....I can understand him in some parts as well but my mother and I? Shouldn't we finally exist in his mind (except himself)?
Thanks for the venting...