i fear its taking over...

[ApresMidi]

...because my siblings and mother were uppstairs,my father due to return home any minute and i still couldnt stp from slpping downstairs and cutting my stomach and leg with the highly temqting razor edgeknives...
UGH!
i'm trying...
Giving into this... its like when we went to thegrand canyon... looking and experiencing he vertigo.. You knowthat taking one more step & letting it have you is bad,for some reason,but the adrenaline and the prieval fear and its murderoous beauty is enough to make you forget your own name,let alone your flimsy,mortal reason to hang on.

[Lolli]

There is something inside us that keeps us holding on.
In reference to your grand canyon metaphor, though there is a self-destructive energy is in you have you found that jump into the inevitable black? Well obviously not because you managed to post.
What I'm saying is that though you see yourself as weak for giving into those destructive urges, you must be strong enough to not take final leap.
I'm not promoting self harm as I regret the scars I'm tainted with now, I'm just hoping I can help you release you have an inner strength to slowly ignore the urges.

[xaydavis]

you can fight think of something that keeps u hear