How do I stop people pleasing?

[JackShephard]

First of all, why do I do it? I don't understand why I can't put myself first once in a while.

This girl has been my friend ever since junior high. And over time, certain events took place that changed her. She became very clingy at one point and I just distanced myself. Now she uses that as an excuse to say that I "abandoned" her. All I wanted was a breath of fresh air. Was that so selfish? Now it's very toxic for me. I'm almost a punching bag. At one point, we had a strong disagreement. I was willing to let things go but she wasn't. She can say very terrible things to me and i just sit there and take it. "your a shit friend" "you never really cared about me" We are still "friends" but at this point, my blood boils every time I see her post on Facebook. She tells me that she's done trusting me and I'm not a reliable friend. She doesn't seem to understand that at some point, everyone is going to let you down.

I ultimately want to cut her out of my life. I cant take it. But my nature tells me to give her another chance every time I consider this. For some reason, I enable her to hurt me. I tell her how I feel at times but it always comes back to "well, you shouldn't have left me behind" and things like that. Somehow it has to be my fault because she's so vain, she could never see things in a realistic perspective.

HOW DO I BREAK THE CYCLE?

[Destructive Impulse]

I hate people like that. Recently I got pissed at my friend cause she started lecturing me about school an college and how I need to work harder and that set me off. It wasn't like hey you really should do better. It was you dont do shit and don't work hard and if u get into a better college than me so help me god I will kill you. I probably won't go to college cause it's so expensive. I call her out on the fact she complains constantly that guys like her (not really a problem) and I got fed up and told her I'm suicidal and I have actual problems. She got upset at me and blew up. She was being irrational and wasn't acknowledging any of my points about how shitty she treats guys so I stopped testing and talking to her. She told me the only way to fix this between us two was to apologize and I had to change something about myself. Can u believe that? I aparemtly wasa
Our friends all took my side (behind her back as not to take sides.) one of my friends however took my side and actually took it further than me and emailed her parents. That took balls. It was only cause my friend was very well liked by the girls parents he did it and I would never suggest that. anyway after a week she finally apologized and I'm pretty sure it was cause of the email.