Destructive Impulse
April 8th, 2012, 01:44 PM
Here's a short shitty and depressing story I wrote. It sucks and I spent maybe 30 min on it tops. Im only posting it cause it's antisuicide.
Be warned it has references to drugs, underage drinking, abuse, suicide and other shut that's bad. You have been warned.
One step.*
Thats all it takes to end everything.*
I sit here on this bridge contemplating what brought me to this point. I take another sip of the scotch I brought with me. "what the fuck am I doing here."*
I've always hated school and I've especially hated my cunts of parents. I party alot despite the fact I'm only 18. I party more than I admit I should but it's fun so who cares. Its a victimless crime. I love dubstep and going out to raves. I take some tabs before every rave I go to which makes it that much more kick ass. I'm on my schools football team and have a smoking hot girlfriend that's amazing in bed. Naturally my parents disapprove of her but fuck them. I'm borderline truant in school but who honestly gives a fuck cause I'm a damn good receiver.*
So I started to recall the previous nights events. I know I was at a party and me and a few guys were poppin pills and washing them down with bud light. I dont know what I took but it was alot and I got a serious high off of them. Everythings still kind of hazy but I think I got in a fight. With who and why? Oh ya that stupid whore was cheating on me like the slut she is. I think I beat that bitch up but she fucking deserved it. What happened after that? Goddamnit what the fuck happened?*
After minutes of concentration a memory emerged from the fog. He was at the house when he saw lights through the window. Not normal lights but those of a squad car. And here there he was, a minor under the influence of drugs and booze. But then what?*
"what the fuck did I get into?" the question wasn't aimed at anyone but rather just angry screaming at the sky. I knew I wasn't in jail so somehow I got out of it. But how? "FUCK!" I remembered. The cops came barging in with a search warrant. We should have expected it as the house we were at was a hotspot for the shit we did. I ran. I threw people out of my way on the ground and ran out the back. Thank fuck I didn't get caught. I... I think I got lost? No wait I didn't cause I came home... Drunk and high. And...and my parents were home and caught me walking in. They... They smelled the alcohol on my breath and clothes. But what happened next?*
Rehab. They said... they were sending me to rehab. That meant that they knew! Fuck I was so fucking careless and I screwed everything up! How could I be so fucking retarded. No wait I didn't escape the party. That's right the cops chased me down and took me to jail when my parents payed for my bail. I was arrested. That meant I had that on my record forever and I was surely going to be convicted. It was a clear cut case of underage drinking and possession of illegal substances. And that botch ratted on me to the cops. Thats assault and battery or whatever the fuck its called. God I was fucked. then when I got home that's when my parents told me about rehab. That would also probably mean I wouldn't be allowed to play football anymore. Fuck it was only the middle of the season. I would be letting down the entire team. But then I would lose the only thing I'm actually good at. Then the pot. They found the bag of weed in my room. And the... The acid. Fuck that was 300 dollars worth of pot and acid all down the drain. Literally they flushed it. Oh fuck. I was supposed to sell the weed. It wasn't mine, I was only supposed to deal it out to potential customers. And rehab meant I would lose my clients and my source of income. It also meant I would lose all my friends. Then I think that's when I left. It was... Fuck what time was it? It was definitely well into the morning like 3 or 4 am. I guess that's not important. I grabbed the bottle of scotch and just left and headed for the bridge. That's why I'm here. That's why I'm sitting at the edge of the bridge looking down at the waters 600 feet below me. The golden gate bridge was now my golden opportunity. I laughed to myself and took another swig. But was it really worth it? Should I really end my life. I left a note already for my parents to find in the morning to pit their minds at ease so I didn't have that to worry about. But I could rise above this right? Couldn't I just serve my time an be done with it? But my life would be in shambles. I would be a convict. Fuck I could still walk away from this. It wasn't to late to back out. All I had to do was go back the way I came. But what if I wanted to end it. I could walk straight off this bridge if I wanted to. "fuck what should I do? MOTHER FUCKER! What do I do?" I was in tears. I was sobbing to myself when I finally came to a decision and I knew what to do...
THE END.*
What was his decision? Were things really so bad he had to kill himself or did he have an epiphany and he decided to go back home and keep living? Was it worth it to leave his family with the burden of his death? What did he finally decide to do?
Be warned it has references to drugs, underage drinking, abuse, suicide and other shut that's bad. You have been warned.
One step.*
Thats all it takes to end everything.*
I sit here on this bridge contemplating what brought me to this point. I take another sip of the scotch I brought with me. "what the fuck am I doing here."*
I've always hated school and I've especially hated my cunts of parents. I party alot despite the fact I'm only 18. I party more than I admit I should but it's fun so who cares. Its a victimless crime. I love dubstep and going out to raves. I take some tabs before every rave I go to which makes it that much more kick ass. I'm on my schools football team and have a smoking hot girlfriend that's amazing in bed. Naturally my parents disapprove of her but fuck them. I'm borderline truant in school but who honestly gives a fuck cause I'm a damn good receiver.*
So I started to recall the previous nights events. I know I was at a party and me and a few guys were poppin pills and washing them down with bud light. I dont know what I took but it was alot and I got a serious high off of them. Everythings still kind of hazy but I think I got in a fight. With who and why? Oh ya that stupid whore was cheating on me like the slut she is. I think I beat that bitch up but she fucking deserved it. What happened after that? Goddamnit what the fuck happened?*
After minutes of concentration a memory emerged from the fog. He was at the house when he saw lights through the window. Not normal lights but those of a squad car. And here there he was, a minor under the influence of drugs and booze. But then what?*
"what the fuck did I get into?" the question wasn't aimed at anyone but rather just angry screaming at the sky. I knew I wasn't in jail so somehow I got out of it. But how? "FUCK!" I remembered. The cops came barging in with a search warrant. We should have expected it as the house we were at was a hotspot for the shit we did. I ran. I threw people out of my way on the ground and ran out the back. Thank fuck I didn't get caught. I... I think I got lost? No wait I didn't cause I came home... Drunk and high. And...and my parents were home and caught me walking in. They... They smelled the alcohol on my breath and clothes. But what happened next?*
Rehab. They said... they were sending me to rehab. That meant that they knew! Fuck I was so fucking careless and I screwed everything up! How could I be so fucking retarded. No wait I didn't escape the party. That's right the cops chased me down and took me to jail when my parents payed for my bail. I was arrested. That meant I had that on my record forever and I was surely going to be convicted. It was a clear cut case of underage drinking and possession of illegal substances. And that botch ratted on me to the cops. Thats assault and battery or whatever the fuck its called. God I was fucked. then when I got home that's when my parents told me about rehab. That would also probably mean I wouldn't be allowed to play football anymore. Fuck it was only the middle of the season. I would be letting down the entire team. But then I would lose the only thing I'm actually good at. Then the pot. They found the bag of weed in my room. And the... The acid. Fuck that was 300 dollars worth of pot and acid all down the drain. Literally they flushed it. Oh fuck. I was supposed to sell the weed. It wasn't mine, I was only supposed to deal it out to potential customers. And rehab meant I would lose my clients and my source of income. It also meant I would lose all my friends. Then I think that's when I left. It was... Fuck what time was it? It was definitely well into the morning like 3 or 4 am. I guess that's not important. I grabbed the bottle of scotch and just left and headed for the bridge. That's why I'm here. That's why I'm sitting at the edge of the bridge looking down at the waters 600 feet below me. The golden gate bridge was now my golden opportunity. I laughed to myself and took another swig. But was it really worth it? Should I really end my life. I left a note already for my parents to find in the morning to pit their minds at ease so I didn't have that to worry about. But I could rise above this right? Couldn't I just serve my time an be done with it? But my life would be in shambles. I would be a convict. Fuck I could still walk away from this. It wasn't to late to back out. All I had to do was go back the way I came. But what if I wanted to end it. I could walk straight off this bridge if I wanted to. "fuck what should I do? MOTHER FUCKER! What do I do?" I was in tears. I was sobbing to myself when I finally came to a decision and I knew what to do...
THE END.*
What was his decision? Were things really so bad he had to kill himself or did he have an epiphany and he decided to go back home and keep living? Was it worth it to leave his family with the burden of his death? What did he finally decide to do?