Eating Disorder or not?

[Carly011]

So i am not sure if i really have an eating disorder... Basically i feel like i am fat. i KNOW i am not, but i feel like i am. I am 92lbs at 5ft 1 and i would really like to get to the lower 80's. If i eat any junk food i feel like crap. I feel dirty and gross. I try to eat healthy...but it doesnt always work. I eat, though i try to limit how much eat.... like small things to curb the hunger. Im constantly telling myself i shouldn't eat because i am fat or that the hunger pains is my punishment and i deserve it. Im constantly weighing myself and if i am about 93lbs i feel like crap and think i need to loose weight.

When i do eat i just feel gross and fat. I cant help it. I hate to eat, i do but i hate to. I only eat maybe 1 full meal a day. Otherwise its just little things here and there.

I dont know what to do :/ is this unhealthy? or am i fine?

[beplubber24]

It sounds a bit like bulimia, talk to your parents or doc about it.

[Carly011]

But would it be bulimia even if i dont throw up? I really don't want to go to anyone.....

[Destructive Impulse]

Take it from me. U have a serious problem. U dont need to through up to have an eating disorder but u have severe food anxieties and are restricting. I know you dont wanna hear this but u need to talk to someone bout this cause it can cause severe health concerns.

[Carly011]

I know i should talk to someone...but its so much easier to keep it a secret :/ i already have admitted to so much and have to talk about so many things. This just seems to be another thing to be ashamed of :/ i have already been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. i see a therapist and pyschiatrist. I don't think i can tell them about this.... I still eat, so isnt that good? ughhh :(

[Destructive Impulse]

That may be a problem of urs. My eating disorder wasn't caused by me wanting to be better looking or hating food but stress. I suffer severe anxiety so I was never hungry and I was really skinny. I spent an entire summer in the psych ward of a hospital but it helped me alot. And also im a guy. When you think of an eating disorder you don't think of guys and it's also embarrassing and something I'm ashamed of so I don tell anyone. But if you don't change something people will figure it out.

[Carly011]

I look a healthy weight so no one really knows other then my doctor wanting to gain weight. I am glad you got help and are doing better.... i just dont think i can. I guess i personally don't feel like i have an eating disorder. I can see how that would be embarrasing for you, im ashamed of it also. Hopefully no one figures it out...because i dont really feel like i have a problem

[Destructive Impulse]

I didn't feel like I had a problem til I ended up in the hospital. It can cause major health complications and can destroy your heart.

[Carly011]

but..... its not like i throw up or stop eating all together. I still eat, i just dont LIKE to eat.... and i try to eat until theres not any hunger pains, not till im full. thats about it though.... :/

[Destructive Impulse]

That's what I did. It's called restricting and your barely giving yourself enough to survive.

[Carly011]

i'm giving myself enough to survive...or at least i think! I mean i am still living :) and i dont look unhealthyly skinny...? ughhh i just dont want to tell any one :(

[Destructive Impulse]

I can't force you to. Just keep in mind i would be dead right now if the doctors hadn't intervened

[Carly011]

Thanks

[beplubber24]

And also, this sounds a bit like denial. I would seriously take talking to someone in consideration. It doesn't even have to be someone you know. It can be an anonymous help & tip hotline for teens. Just tell someone. You may not think it, but this is the beginning of the disorder, get help before it gets harder to go back.

[Cathleen]

I know the feeling!
to feel better you just need to eat small portions (maybe you'll have to eat more often) and more vegetables than meat etc.
you may feel like you are not full yet, but you won't feel gross

[Carly011]

Thanks Cathleen, issue is i hate veggies. But i feel disgusting eating meat also.... ughhh anything i eat makes me feel like i am going to get fat(which i refuse to do!) Its just so much easier not to eat then feel horrible about eating. the only thing that doesnt make me feel horrible is grapes! i guess i will just have to eat lots of grapes :)

[georgiamay]

I can't diagnose you, but it sounds like you might be developing an eating disorder (most likely anorexia), if you don't already have one.

It's harder for people with anorexia to notice that there's a problem than it is for people with bulimia. With bulimia, you binge and then make yourself sick or take laxatives or compulsively over exercise, and most people with half a brain will know that that's not a normal eating pattern. With anorexia, it feels like it's just a diet, and that no matter how serious it gets, it's necessary, because you need to lose weight. And if it's necessary, how can it possibly be a problem?

You say you're eating until there's no hunger pains... If you're in physical pain because you're restricting the amount that you're eating, that's a sign that it's taking a toll on your body already. Pain is how your body tells you that something's wrong.

The best way to tell if you have a serious problem or not is to try and eat 3 normal sized meals in a day. Lunch and dinner should both make you feel a little full. Breakfast should be something like a bowl of cereal, or 2 slices of toast. For lunch, a sandwich or something of a similar size with maybe a packet of crisps, or something like that. For dinner, probably whatever your parents are having, a full meal. If you can do this without panicking or thinking you'll get fat if you finish the meal, then you probably don't have an eating disorder, although you should still probably keep an eye on your eating habits in case it develops. If you do panick, or just doing this for 1 day feels like something you can't do, then yeah, I think you have a pretty serious problem.

The best way to recover from eating disorders is to tell someone. It might be really scary, but if you get worse people will probably find out. From what I've seen just on VT, 9 out of 10 parents find out eventually.

Good luck with everything, PM me if you ever need to talk :hug3:

[beplubber24]

I can't diagnose you, but it sounds like you might be developing an eating disorder (most likely anorexia), if you don't already have one.

It's harder for people with anorexia to notice that there's a problem than it is for people with bulimia. With bulimia, you binge and then make yourself sick or take laxatives or compulsively over exercise, and most people with half a brain will know that that's not a normal eating pattern. With anorexia, it feels like it's just a diet, and that no matter how serious it gets, it's necessary, because you need to lose weight. And if it's necessary, how can it possibly be a problem?

You say you're eating until there's no hunger pains... If you're in physical pain because you're restricting the amount that you're eating, that's a sign that it's taking a toll on your body already. Pain is how your body tells you that something's wrong.

The best way to tell if you have a serious problem or not is to try and eat 3 normal sized meals in a day. Lunch and dinner should both make you feel a little full. Breakfast should be something like a bowl of cereal, or 2 slices of toast. For lunch, a sandwich or something of a similar size with maybe a packet of crisps, or something like that. For dinner, probably whatever your parents are having, a full meal. If you can do this without panicking or thinking you'll get fat if you finish the meal, then you probably don't have an eating disorder, although you should still probably keep an eye on your eating habits in case it develops. If you do panick, or just doing this for 1 day feels like something you can't do, then yeah, I think you have a pretty serious problem.

The best way to recover from eating disorders is to tell someone. It might be really scary, but if you get worse people will probably find out. From what I've seen just on VT, 9 out of 10 parents find out eventually.

Good luck with everything, PM me if you ever need to talk :hug3:

Couldn't agree more.

[Carly011]

I can't diagnose you, but it sounds like you might be developing an eating disorder (most likely anorexia), if you don't already have one.

It's harder for people with anorexia to notice that there's a problem than it is for people with bulimia. With bulimia, you binge and then make yourself sick or take laxatives or compulsively over exercise, and most people with half a brain will know that that's not a normal eating pattern. With anorexia, it feels like it's just a diet, and that no matter how serious it gets, it's necessary, because you need to lose weight. And if it's necessary, how can it possibly be a problem?

You say you're eating until there's no hunger pains... If you're in physical pain because you're restricting the amount that you're eating, that's a sign that it's taking a toll on your body already. Pain is how your body tells you that something's wrong.

The best way to tell if you have a serious problem or not is to try and eat 3 normal sized meals in a day. Lunch and dinner should both make you feel a little full. Breakfast should be something like a bowl of cereal, or 2 slices of toast. For lunch, a sandwich or something of a similar size with maybe a packet of crisps, or something like that. For dinner, probably whatever your parents are having, a full meal. If you can do this without panicking or thinking you'll get fat if you finish the meal, then you probably don't have an eating disorder, although you should still probably keep an eye on your eating habits in case it develops. If you do panick, or just doing this for 1 day feels like something you can't do, then yeah, I think you have a pretty serious problem.

The best way to recover from eating disorders is to tell someone. It might be really scary, but if you get worse people will probably find out. From what I've seen just on VT, 9 out of 10 parents find out eventually.

Good luck with everything, PM me if you ever need to talk :hug3:

In that case i probably have a little bit of problem.....i have tried to eat 3 normal meals. I cant even get past breakfast without being disgusted with myself.... :/ i just dont think i can talk to anyone.... i just cant bring myself to tell anyone....:(

[Destructive Impulse]

Ya you really have a problem if u can't get through a single day

[Carly011]

I dont think i have a big problem.... i mean i DO eat, i just dont like it. it makes me feel gross. So i dont eat ALOT. maybe one "full" meal a day, and then some snacks... is that really that bad?

[georgiamay]

Almost every anorexic does eat, they just don't eat enough. Most of the time it starts off with just skipping a few meals, then maybe only eating one meal, then half of a meal, then just an apple or something. It progresses, and even though you don't think there's a problem, I'm sure you can admit that over time you've been eating less and less; you weren't born only eating one meal a day. If it's progressed this far, then there's no reason it can't progress any further.

You must notice that there's a problem, otherwise you wouldn't have posted in here. You might not think it's a big problem, but that's probably just because you don't want to believe it. Because if it's a problem, that means you need to fix it, and fixing it means you need to eat more, and you don't want to do that. Am I on the right lines?

Just the fact that you feel gross if you eat more than one meal shows that there's a problem. Feeling gross after eating the contents of your fridge, that's normal. But feeling disgusting when you've eaten a meal isn't.

You need to tell someone. You're probably sick of hearing this, but telling someone makes things so much easier. At first, it's horrible, because you feel like people know your biggest secret. I'll admit, at first it's not fun. But after a while it's easier because you don't have to hide so much if you're struggling, and you'll have the option of support, even if you don't take it, it's nice to know that it's here.

[Carly011]

Almost every anorexic does eat, they just don't eat enough. Most of the time it starts off with just skipping a few meals, then maybe only eating one meal, then half of a meal, then just an apple or something. It progresses, and even though you don't think there's a problem, I'm sure you can admit that over time you've been eating less and less; you weren't born only eating one meal a day. If it's progressed this far, then there's no reason it can't progress any further.

You must notice that there's a problem, otherwise you wouldn't have posted in here. You might not think it's a big problem, but that's probably just because you don't want to believe it. Because if it's a problem, that means you need to fix it, and fixing it means you need to eat more, and you don't want to do that. Am I on the right lines?

Just the fact that you feel gross if you eat more than one meal shows that there's a problem. Feeling gross after eating the contents of your fridge, that's normal. But feeling disgusting when you've eaten a meal isn't.

You need to tell someone. You're probably sick of hearing this, but telling someone makes things so much easier. At first, it's horrible, because you feel like people know your biggest secret. I'll admit, at first it's not fun. But after a while it's easier because you don't have to hide so much if you're struggling, and you'll have the option of support, even if you don't take it, it's nice to know that it's here.


I know. I know. I guess maybe i do have a bit of problem....i just cant bring myself to tell someone :/ I have already told about my cutting and that was super hard for me. Its like this is my last secret. my last bit of control. and i just cant stand the thought of them trying to make me gain weight. It freaks me out. And my brother is in a psych ward cause he tried to commit suicide so we are dealing with that and i feel like people would think i am trying to get attention if i said anything now

[Wiltedrose2394]

I can TOTALLY understand you! I have been on the fence too; I don't think what I have is an eating disorder. And other people have no idea either because I really am fat. No really- I am morbidly obese. No one has any idea at the stress some people get from eating. I won't eat in public; and I volley between eating hardly anything/eating little and puking/eating normal/normal and puking. Sooooo many people have no idea how fat we feel; and I would like to say that I'm on your side. You may be technically underweight but what matters is how you feel about yourself.

Know that you're not alone; and even if you do have an eating disorder, you won't be alone then either :)

[Carly011]

Thank you. I just cant bring myself to be happy with myself if i eat.... i would ideally like to be around 80-85. I hate myself. I dont know why i am so disgusted myself at 94lbs. But i hate it. I just think im gross and fat.