ApresMidi
April 7th, 2012, 03:43 PM
I know I’m new, but I need it off my chest because it hurts.
So,I was shopping with my mum and found a dress that I really liked, [ going to visit the one person who knows I cut but that’s another story .. ] and decided to try it on.
After I broke my wrist last year, its been a little stiff, as expected, so she came into the fitting room to help with the zip, it was slightly awkward.
Normally we’re close,and we know each other pretty well and talk about things.
It was as I stripped off my t-shirt, I remembered – Two ,large,newly healed lines on my stomach. Nothing that could be passed off as an accident – who gets injured a) In that spot,slightly above my belly-button and b) in a way that’s straight ,clean way , like / \ . So I tried to subtly get the dress over it, but she saw. She definitely saw. She's not dumb ,put 2+2 together ,but said nothing. Didn’t react. She knew ,definitely, but didn’t care.
Its not that I’m doing it for attention ,I’m not , I was mortified. It just hurts that when she did find out ,she didn’t care.
Oh and my dad screamed at me a few nights ago ,and I swear to you – I’ve never been so close to the edge. I guess you guys get that more than anyone.
Yeah. Happy families right?
I think if they found out properly , the concern would be- what would the neighbours /village think. Eldest daughter destined for Oxford [ in their minds] ,with a issue like SH? No thanks, we’ll sweep it under the carpet. They prefer to buy me things , as if a new piece of jewellery or clothing or whatever makes it better. And truth be told ,it should .I have never been abused,or hurt ,nothing but loved , - bullied horrendously at school ,but not at home, - in a stable ,wealthy [ not that that means much] environment with people who love me. So why? I’m not particularly depressed, or bi polar.
<sigh>.
Anyways,thanks if you read this far.Means a lot.
Love
Ali x
So,I was shopping with my mum and found a dress that I really liked, [ going to visit the one person who knows I cut but that’s another story .. ] and decided to try it on.
After I broke my wrist last year, its been a little stiff, as expected, so she came into the fitting room to help with the zip, it was slightly awkward.
Normally we’re close,and we know each other pretty well and talk about things.
It was as I stripped off my t-shirt, I remembered – Two ,large,newly healed lines on my stomach. Nothing that could be passed off as an accident – who gets injured a) In that spot,slightly above my belly-button and b) in a way that’s straight ,clean way , like / \ . So I tried to subtly get the dress over it, but she saw. She definitely saw. She's not dumb ,put 2+2 together ,but said nothing. Didn’t react. She knew ,definitely, but didn’t care.
Its not that I’m doing it for attention ,I’m not , I was mortified. It just hurts that when she did find out ,she didn’t care.
Oh and my dad screamed at me a few nights ago ,and I swear to you – I’ve never been so close to the edge. I guess you guys get that more than anyone.
Yeah. Happy families right?
I think if they found out properly , the concern would be- what would the neighbours /village think. Eldest daughter destined for Oxford [ in their minds] ,with a issue like SH? No thanks, we’ll sweep it under the carpet. They prefer to buy me things , as if a new piece of jewellery or clothing or whatever makes it better. And truth be told ,it should .I have never been abused,or hurt ,nothing but loved , - bullied horrendously at school ,but not at home, - in a stable ,wealthy [ not that that means much] environment with people who love me. So why? I’m not particularly depressed, or bi polar.
<sigh>.
Anyways,thanks if you read this far.Means a lot.
Love
Ali x