I hate myself.

[Carly011]

I hate myself. I honestly can't see anything good about myself. Life just seems like it would be so much better off if i was gone.... I try to think about my future but it all just seems like to much and that i am just going to fail like i always do. I really wish i wasn't alive anymore.

I am trying to resist the urge to cut again... i have gone about a week but its getting worse and i dont think i am going to be able to hold off much longer. I see a therapist but i can't seem to talk to her about my cutting. at the moment i just CANT talk to her...she tries to get me to but i refuse. this is the only place i can come to say what im feeling...at least here no one knows me and people arent going to judge me because they have been through it also.

Today has been worse then the others..i just feel so lonely, ugly, fat, stupid and loser. I just dont want to be here anymore :(

How do you guys deal with these feelings?

[Jupiter]

I have those thoughts a lot. The way I deal with my pain is by listening to lots of music. I really hope that you feel better and I want you to know that I am there for you anytime.

[Fractured Silhouette]

I have those thoughts a lot. The way I deal with my pain is by listening to lots of music. I really hope that you feel better and I want you to know that I am there for you anytime.

Ditto. What I usually think about during those times is whether it's really is me thinking those things about myself or if it's just my brain being silly again. Music is the next best thing to therapy imo. Thoughts like that don't deserve to be acted upon or believed.

Take your time. Don't try to rush into talking about the cutting it if you don't want to. I made the same mistake, I just wanted to tell someone and when I couldn't I felt like a shit sandwich. It should come to you by itself. If not then you could try writing a note instead of speaking to your therapist.

Hope this helps. Good Luck.

[Carly011]

Thanks for the suggestions, i resorted to watching lots of greys anatomy on netflix :) Its so hard to break these ring of bad thoughts. I have spent so many years telling myself i'm stupid, ugly, fat, a failure, not good at anything, a loser, hated ect. that its hard to believe anything else :/

[Carly011]

Oh and writing a letter is a good idea, i might have to suggest that to my therapist.