daddy loves you

[Lost997]

So I'm not sure if I'm doing this properly...I was 4 when my dad sexually abused me and 5 when I disclosed to my mum, I've never really gone through the details with anyone apart from the police! My dad wasn't put in prison although the police believed me...I still remember everything like yesterday,

My parents were already separated but lived together for my sake, one night my mum was getting ready to go out, I remeber sitting on the bathroom counter as she did her makeup, my dad was left to look after me. We went to a DVD shop I remember wanting to get a cartoon film but he wouldn't let me, once we were home he put the film on; it was pornography! I was sat next to him on the sofa I remember feeling upset and that's when it started I'm not going to the exact details of what he did but he did penetrate, he told me my mum wasn't a good wife so instead I would be, he explained that this was how daughters showed love to their daddy, nothing felt right but I didn't understand...after he was finished he left me on the sofa to fall asleep and went to his room, it only happened once because I disclosed not long after, but once was enough for me!

[BossHogg]

Ahhhh :( im sorry for what you went through and Im glad you said something early because as you will see on this site not many girls and boys were lucky enough for it to stop after the first time, so your very blessed and I hope this never happens to you or anyone again.
~If you need someone to talk to or express your feelings to I'm here for ya ^_^ ~

[Desuetude]

so your very blessed
No, I wouldnt say blessed is the right word for getting sexually abused.
Im so sorry you went through that, speaking out early was very brave and the absolute right thing to do. At the age of 4... people really are sick. I hope you are a little better now and that he is out of your life. It would be sad to think that he is still there triggering the memories. If you need someone to talk to feel free to VM me.

[Lost997]

Uhm thanks I guess, he is still in my life which complicates things and the whole thing jas caused me to become depressed, self harm etc, but ur right unlike others I'm a bit luckier some still live with it...thankyou

[BossHogg]

No, I wouldnt say blessed is the right word for getting sexually abused.
Im so sorry you went through that, speaking out early was very brave and the absolute right thing to do. At the age of 4... people really are sick. I hope you are a little better now and that he is out of your life. It would be sad to think that he is still there triggering the memories. If you need someone to talk to feel free to VM me.

No im saying she is blessed for getting out of the situation some people go through the it for years and it gets worse but in her case she escaped it thats what im mean by blessed

[Carly011]

Awwww thats awful :( your dad did that to you. You didnt deserve it. I am glad you got away from him

[Carlyle]

Its good you're away from him. Its not good that it happened, and once was WAY more than enough. Its good you got away from him when you did, a lot of times people are too afraid to talk about it at that age, afraid of what would happen. I'm very sorry to hear about you being able to remember it, that's not something you should ever have floating around in your head. Him being in your life doesn't help the fact, do you want him there or not? If not, you need to talk to someone like your mother and see what she is willing to do to help you. If you're fine with it, then that can be left as it is. My condolences, again, really sorry to hear you had to deal with that.

[Cicero]

I'm so sorry you had to be exposed to that! No one ever deserves this, this is like very low. If he went to prison, that would probably have been the last time you would've seen him alive. Because in prison the murderers and what not would have thought "Wow what!? He raped a kid! Come on they're defenseless! Man if that was my kid..." and they would've beaten him everyday. Which is weird they have standards. But prisoners hate it because kids can't defend themselves.
But back on topic. I'm so sorry! :( It will take years to recover from that, you should really look into see a psychologist or therapist. It will help you to resolve a lot of problems you feel. But the thing he did that makes me sick is that you will fully never forget, or maybe be the same. HE took your virginity, and he probably took your childhood.
But what you need to do, in order to work through a lot of problems is forgive and try to forget. If you never forgive you'll always think of it.
I don't mean I forgive you dad let's be friends! I mean just, have no feelings against him. Let him know everything you feel toward him, make sure he knows. Forgiving also doesn't mean seeing him, if you never want to see him again that's fine. Once again I'm sorry this happened. But as it was mentioned earlier, some other boys/girls keep getting raped, at least you were able to get away from him. It sounds like you live with your mom, which is the best thing you can do.

[Mirage]

This is so sad. I am sorry you were treated this way, nobody deserves that.

It is good that you got away from him. I hope that you are okay, if you ever need to talk to me, feel free to PM me.

[Lost997]

:) thankyou all

[Toto]

I`m really sorry you`ve had to go though that. No one deserves to be treated like that. If you need someone to talk to, you can send me a message.