Help...

[Nevermore]

So.. my boyfriend cheated on me twice in this relationship. Once with this girl kissed her three times in the beginning now at the end one day we broke up and now he made out with this other girl Jamie. WTF?!?! I feel like I've done wrong like I"m not good enough, that I"m worth nothing. I begged him after he told me on the phone, begged him to be with me again, and he was like but I like her, and I love you. So I"m going to have to sleep on it. I'm like WTF I can't sleep not knowing the circumstances of my situation. Plus it shouldn't be something you have to think about... you should just know if you love someone or not and obviously go for the one you love, but I love him! I'm so pissed beyond control, but I will not show it. I must not lose my temper for I'm on thin ice. I want him back. It's not my fault he broke up with me because he thought I wanted to be with a girl. I don't but I wouldn't take him back. I feel at a lose because it's at a stale mate. I was with this guy almost 2 years I've known him since I was 5. He's known this girl at most a few months. Obviously I know him better. So how is there any competition? How can he like her. She's not pretty, I looked her up, and okay I'm not shallow and about looks. BEfore he told me he cheated and before he told me he wouldn't be in a relationship with me again he told me to lift my shirt up to show him my... yeah.. and I did.. I feel so used! He did this only to get his jollies, and is only doing this to see how much I care. I'm so pissed and hurt. I want to kill myself I need to cut or something. I can't deal with this anymore. I want to die, and I have an exam in the morning, I can't cope with this.. :'( :mad:

[Iris]

First of all, nothing is your fault. Remember that as you go through this. Your boyfriend is being an insensitive ass, you are the victim. Second, I know it's hard, but you two need to separate. Whether that means a permanent breakup or some time for both of you to figure out your priorities is all up to you. But you can't navigate through all these things you're feeling in this trapped situation. Try staying away from him for a little while, see how you'll feel. It might be somewhat of a relief for you, and it may make him realize how much he depends on you for love and security. If not, you too should move on with your lives. Dragging this out will only cause more pain. I know this is easier said than done, and maybe it would be better to slowly wean yourself off him rather than going cold turkey, but the pain you'd feel by doing this will ultimately be less than the pain you'll feel if this keeps going on.

You sound like you're really hurting, but cutting or dying isn't the answer. Time is your friend; you'll heal, you'll get through this. You love him and this is a huge blow, but you're made of more than him. He's a chapter of your life you need to move on from, and be open to newer, better chapters. I guarantee there's a guy out there who will love you, who would never cheat on you or treat you this way somewhere out there, just give yourself a chance to find him. All is not lost hun. Get through one day at a time, realize that every hour of suffering that you overcome is a victory, and use that as a stepping stone to get through more and more days until you get through this.

Stay strong :hug:

[Desuetude]

Hey you should calm down and think about this from an outsiders prespective. All we are seeing is him hurting you and no good coming out of the relationship at all, is that what's happening? What is he really giving you because to me it looks as if all he is doing is causing you grief and making you anxious like you depend on him for oxygen, you don't.
He is playing with you and you don't deserve to be treated like he can just pick you up and drop you whenever it suits him. Like Iris said, maybe it would be a good idea if you break up, just for a short or long period of time just until you sort things out and you both find out what you want. It seems as though you need some closure though so dumping him may be a good way to get that?
He really is acting like an ass and none of what he is doing is your fault, okay? You do not have to do anything he says if you're not comfortable with it. Just because you don't show him yourself that doesn't mean that you don't care but it seems that's all he's interested in.
Cutting and killing yourself will not help at all. Imagine, it might feel as if it's the end of the world now and that there is nothing you can do to change it but if you do kill yourself there is no going back, you'll be gone forever because of one person who isn't worth one smigen of your life. Cutting doesn't take away problems, they will still be there afterwards and all you'd be doing is adding to them.
If you can't trust him and he makes you feel this bad you have to think about if he is worth it because you deserve better than that. It will be hard but you need to think about yourself instead of him, you can get past this with time but you don't need all the added weight of him making it more difficult.

[Mortal Coil]

Your boyfriend is being an insensitive ass, you are the victim.

Exactly.
It's normal for you to feel bad about this, after all he is being an asshole and you, as Iris said, are the victim.
Stop blaming yourself and try making a list of all the things you hate about him and then burning it: that's what someone in my school did after her breakup. Find something to distract yourself- cook, watch TV, spend hours in VT chat or whatever, but please don't do anything self-destructive. We're all here for you and frankly, he doesn't deserve it.
I'm going to paraphrase Harper Lee, since I can't find the actual quote:
He's not worth the rope it would take to hang him.
He's not worth your time, energy, tears or blood.
Stay strong.