How do I ask my friend if he's gay?

[bborrego]

I have reasons to believe one of my friends is gay/bi/or at least curious..

How do I get him comfortable enough to ask him if he's gay/bi/extremely curious?

Have you guys asked your friends if their gay?
How did they react?
Was your friendship ruined?

[Cicero]

lol well sometimes at school some people will make remarks or ask if I'm gay, and I say "No, why?". But all of my friends know I'm not gay. But I know if one of my friends asked, I'd be a little mad. But not enough to ruin a friendship. I might even ask wht makes them think that, and I'd try to address th problem and try to change it.

Just try to let him tell you. Say, "if theirs anything you want to get off your back, just tell me, I'd be glad to help." it's better to lt him tell you then you ask. Especially if he isn't gay. Also, try asking what you think of gays and lesbians, but make sure you remark first and say you don't mind them at all. Try saying something like "it annoys me when people make fun of gays" then he'll maybe add onto that.

[JJSSHH]

I wouldnt ask. It could be offensive to him.

[MisterAndrews]

Agreed with Josh. Don't ask. There's no need really, is there? :)

[bborrego]

Also, try asking what you think of gays and lesbians, but make sure you remark first and say you don't mind them at all. Try saying something like "it annoys me when people make fun of gays" then he'll maybe add onto that.


I imagine him asking me, "Why? Are you gay?" haha
But I should try that. Thanks! but how would that convo start up?

[senior.2013]

As said, dont ask. I would avoid it because he can tell you in his own time, when hes comfortable.

[yerman]

I wouldn't ask, it might ruin your friendship - if he's gay he'll come out when he's ready!

[Enormous]

It really depends on your friendship and whether he is actually gay and ready to tell others.

[Dmtuba]

Strait up

[bborrego]

Thanks guys! I'll just wait for him to tell me, if he does.

[UTurn]

Don't ask let him come out to you

[VirtualGuy012]

Is there really a reason to know? If not then just let it go.

[JackShephard]

I am bisexual and I plan on telling my friend. I know that he would only support me. The funny thing is, you screen name looks similar to his last name. Haha anyway, my point is, let him make the first move. He will tell you when he is ready. And don't get freaked out just yet. You haven't mentioned anything about him liking you so I am assuming he only likes you as a friend. Be as understanding as you can because it's really a big deal to some that are in the closet (like myself.) Even if he trusts you with his life, it still could take a while before he admits to anything. And there is a very good chance that you may have gotten the wrong hint also. Further reason not to ask and risk an awkward conversation.

[Peep Show]

Yeah I wouldn't ask, he'll most likely get pissed off at you.

[Saxophone 44]

I imagine him asking me, "Why? Are you gay?" haha
But I should try that. Thanks! but how would that convo start up?

This is bringing up homosexual people. Talk about porn!!!

[Donkey]

Yeah the other replies are good. When he's comfortable and ready, he'll tell you

[smd11451]

The other replies cover whether you should ask or not. The only suggestion I would give would be to make sure he knows you are accepting of gay people somehow. Then (if he wants to talk) he will feel comfortable coming to you

[bborrego]

Yeah, I agree w/ all of you. I won't ask.But he still makes me think he is.

For example, this past week he was like "I would never have sex with a guy!, would you?!!"

@Jack: Maybe I am your friend......Jack? :O
jk

Please don't double post; instead edit your first post. I've merged both of your posts together. -Jon/Donkey

[Michigan48111]

Yes Don't ask him, if he is really gay, when he is ready himself he will tell you. Only he knows when he's ready to tell someone.

[Lifeguard]

just start hinting about gay/bi stuff and see what he says and if he acts weird just say you were kidding and laugh it off

[JackShephard]

@Jack: Maybe I am your friend......Jack? :O
jk

You know, I secretly hoped you where. It would make the whole process way easier. Jack is not my real name. Lol

[hockeyfan]

I dont have any gay friends. Only ask if ur close. Start by bringing up the subject of a random person being gay and see how he reacts. Don't hurt his feelings.

[Harley Quinn]

Don't bump old threads. :locked: