In a situation again

[spw184]

As you probably dont know, I dont get on here very often unless I need some help. Obviously by this point in this post you have realized that I need some help. :rolleyes:

So here is the situation(s) (relationship wise, theres more going on but it wouldn't belong in this section) in list of importance

1. So there is this guy that I had a crush on since the start of the year, I found out about two months ago that he was gay. As soon as I told him I was gay too, we we're skyping (not just talking :P) Almost immediately. Pretty soon he wanted to have sex, and we tried several times but something always got in the way. So, when we finally did, (this tuesday) we were just about to have anal and than my mom walked in. He hid in the bathroom and in the end she didn't even notice. SO, now my question is, and has been for a while *even before tuesday* can I take our fuckbuddy status to the next level? I've been developing feelings for him for a while, but last time I brought it up he got really depressed and told me that he doesnt date everyone he has feelings for, and that he's had his heart broken too many times and that he doesn't want me to screw him over. So, I was going to ask him out on a date tonight, but OBV you guys wont get back with me on this by than, so I'll still ask him. Anyways, any suggestions on this?
2. There is this guy I REALLY REALLY REALLY like (for about 6 months now), and we used to be best friends but he's straight so he decided that "I was too gay" and that he felt uncomfortable around me. (I find this amazing because he grabs his guy friends and acts like a total fag all the time around them)and I FB messaged him about a week ago to see what the fuck was up (he hadnt talked to me for a month) He explained, and said that we would be cool if I would "Stop getting so close" by close, he must mean hugging him like, once a month. Anyways, my other friend who is out of the closet gay, and his boyfriend, all think that he is gay, but really deep in the closet. Im not sure or not, but I did think that he was bisexual at one point, which is why I allowed myself to have feelings for him. So, what should I do? Talk to him? Keep ignoring him? Ask him if he's gay? (Ive done that before.)

And there is going to be a followup post in the comments probably because I have to go but there is more stuff to put here ._.

PS: Im in the closet

[plebble]

1. Fuck him

[spw184]

Wait... fuck who? The gay guy (who i already am) or the straight guy (Which would never go for it)

[Desuetude]

Well I don't see that anything can happen with guy 2 seeing as he's straight. If he is gay then don't pressure him, he will come out to you if and when he is ready. Im guessing you still want to be friends though so talk to him about why he is being off with you, maybe tell him that you just value you friendship and that's why you're being so "close".
You could try talking to your gay friend about a relationship but you have to respect his feelings. Maybe try showing him that you wont hurt him, make him feel safe with you. If you give him time and just try to become closer then he might come around to the idea of a realtionship.

[spw184]

Can somebody explain this FB convo with him?

Oh did you joke with -Open gay guy- and tell him your gay because -Open gay guys BF-heard it and thought you where serious and wont leave me alone about it ._.
..
we kind of flirted with each other i guess. Just keep that to yourself though.
..
Wait.. but you are straight though right?
-Straight guy Im chatting logs off-
and yeah, obv I wont tell anyone lol
..

What does that mean? was that his way of coming out or what? Im so confused right now ._.
Sorry for bump D: Please don't lock? <3

[ashdyn]

Personal experience - all gay people think most straight guys are gay or at least harboring gay feelings deep down inside. Although sometimes true, more often than not they're actually straight and even if they had those deep down feelings they wouldn't act on it.

Straight guy - First off I would be pretty pissed if he tried to stop being friends just because I told him I was gay. You obvi told him because you were friends. So I would start by telling him this...though I think you already have lol Next...ditch your feelings for him or at least put it on the back burner. Talk to him and agree on appropriate levels of contact (gayness, lol) and just try to be friends again. Try to be the best friend you can be (this means not trying to secretly seduce him)...you never know if he feels like he can trust you with his life then he might tell you one of those deep dark secrets he's hiding lol (don't hold your breath). Just think of it like this...would you rather try to get him to like like you and lose him as a friend, or would you rather have him as a friend and have a door open for whatever might happen in the future?

Skype dude - I would get on the same page as him on his views of a relationship BEFORE having sex with him. Sex can really fuck with your mind. If he really doesn't want a relationship and you let him do you thinking that he does...you could end up having real real feelings for him and end up getting hurt in the end. Just being completely honest - he sounds like he just wants to get into your pants (I'd rather take my chances with straight dude lol). His excuse for not wanting a serious relationship sounds like total B.S which I'm pretty sure my friend used on this girl at school not too long ago lol Tell him flat out that you won't have sex with him unless there's an actual chance of having a real relationship. If not, and you still want to have sex, then I suggest getting rid of those feelings you have for him or you're in for a wold of pain. (I wouldn't have sex with him if I were you) If he says there is a real chance of dating and not just fucking then make sure you DTR soon afterwards. If he stays undecided for a long time but still keeps fucking you for free...then you've been played. He sounds like a whore.

Relationship confusion sucks bro lol it sounds like you get feelings for people way too easy (no offense...not like you can help it lol). Try getting to know people a little better before letting yourself develop real feelings for them. And try to shy away from developing feelings for straight people...it's pointless and a waste of time to wait for something that just won't happen. Gay skype guy - sounds like a grimy lowlife. Straight friend - in a perfect fairytale world he would be friends with you again then confess his gayness to you and treat you like a princess and you both will get married and live happily ever after in the castle at disney. Unfortunately, friendship might be the only harsh reality between you two. Don't take it for granted though...having a straight friend when you're openly gay becomes much harder to do. GOOD LUCK! Hope I helped some.

[ashdyn]

Just saw your last comment...don't pressure him to come out to you. Just let him know that you're there if he ever needs anyone to talk to. Make sure you promise him you won't tell anyone anything.