Can somebody PLEASE help me?

[Twistember]

I am so fucking tired of dealing with other people's shit. They put it all on me and I can't fucking handle it anymore! I just want to be done. With everything. My mother won't do anything for herself, she hasn't even cooked a meal AT ALL this year. I've only had 1 home-cooked meals this year. From my aunt. I feel like my mental needs have been completely forgotten. Just thrown out the window. She hasn't even noticed that I've been on a fucking complete downward spiral for about 2 months, and I've fallen back into cutting. (it's a distraction from everything) I just feel so fucking stuck. Like these feelings will never go away. Like I'll always be stuck in this angry-sadness for the rest of my life. I never get any fucking peace. I have racing thoughts all day every day, I get yelled at every 2 seconds for doing something wrong, I'm constantly put under pressure to do well on all these fucking tests at school, other kids at school threatening to beat up my "scrawny ass" and throwing gatorade bottles at me on the bus. It may not sound like much, but I'm completely fucking drained. I've lost the will to do anything. Now I get yelled at more because I just don't do anything. I just don't fucking care. My legs don't want to walk or carry me anymore. Nobody can see what's happening to me. Nobody understands it. She's supposed to call the fucking counselor, but she hasn't and probably never will. I just need help. Somebody please help me.

[NotASpyingRent]

I am so fucking tired of dealing with other people's shit. They put it all on me and I can't fucking handle it anymore! I just want to be done. With everything. My mother won't do anything for herself, she hasn't even cooked a meal AT ALL this year. I've only had 1 home-cooked meals this year. From my aunt. I feel like my mental needs have been completely forgotten. Just thrown out the window. She hasn't even noticed that I've been on a fucking complete downward spiral for about 2 months, and I've fallen back into cutting. (it's a distraction from everything) I just feel so fucking stuck. Like these feelings will never go away. Like I'll always be stuck in this angry-sadness for the rest of my life. I never get any fucking peace. I have racing thoughts all day every day, I get yelled at every 2 seconds for doing something wrong, I'm constantly put under pressure to do well on all these fucking tests at school, other kids at school threatening to beat up my "scrawny ass" and throwing gatorade bottles at me on the bus. It may not sound like much, but I'm completely fucking drained. I've lost the will to do anything. Now I get yelled at more because I just don't do anything. I just don't fucking care. My legs don't want to walk or carry me anymore. Nobody can see what's happening to me. Nobody understands it. She's supposed to call the fucking counselor, but she hasn't and probably never will. I just need help. Somebody please help me.

I'm so sorry to hear what has happened. If you're based in the U.S., there are hotlines where you can actually speak to counselors. All you have to do is google it!

Feel better!

[Desuetude]

I'm so sorry to hear what has happened. If you're based in the U.S., there are hotlines where you can actually speak to counselors. All you have to do is google it!

Feel better!

If you are anywhere there are hotlines you can call, on the internet, through email. There is always someone you can talk to.


Im really sorry about what you're going through. If it's getting so bad that you feel so drained that you can't do anything then you need to talk to people. Your mum or your aunt if that works. Just try and get through to her how much you're hurting.
With the bullies, if you want that to stop, you need to tell a teacher Or an adult you trust. Someone that can actually do something about it. Don't try and stand up to them on your own because you could do more harm than good.

[Iris]

It sounds a lot like you're expecting people to realize how much you're hurting, which it completely understandable, but as they're apparently unresponsive, maybe you should try being more active about it. You're depressed, that's obvious, and you don't have the energy to keep fighting to stay afloat, but try, force yourself to talk to the people who can help you with the way you're feeling. You want your mother or aunt to notice your pain but they just aren't. Did you try walking up to them and telling them exactly what's going on with you? Maybe it's hard for them to see someone they love in pain, so they're avoiding it altogether. Whatever the case, take matters into your own hands. I can't see how it can get worse if you do. If not for them, though, why don't you call the counselor on your own and ask him/her to talk to your mother/aunt about this? Or is there anyone in your school that can find you the help you need? Maybe a friend you can confide in? Reaching out is never easy, and it's unfair that you're the only one who notices your pain, but things get easier after the initial step. If you feel like all is lost, check yourself into a hospital, but don't give up. There's always someone who cares, even if you may not realize it.

If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you. :hug: