My friend turning into me?

[smalltowngirl9189]

Okay, so one of my friends is alot younger than me but acts very mature. My friends and I tell her everything but more as a precaution saying "hey you see us do weed, heroin, coca, and meth- we drink 24/7 and cut and have anxiety attacks. DON'T BE LIKE US" but today she started talking to me about how when she sees the cuts on my arms she just wants me to cut her. I was like ummm? and she said she was too chicken to do it to herself but she feels like she's nothing and wants to prove she's still alive and that she can still feel pain. I understood because I was once that age. I told her she was my friend and she was still alive and never to cut because it becomes an addiction. Then she made the comment that if she knew she wouldn't get caught she would smoke with us and this is coming from the asian girl that never ever ever would drink or do drugs!! It really scares me. I don't want her to get her life messed up like I did just because of some wruts in the dirt. Not to mention I have lost 9 friends to suicide since July 17, 2011. I asked her what's troubling her and she doesn't know, all she knows is she would rather be dead than feel empty and feel the emotional pain she's feeling. What should I do?

[Desuetude]

If she is seeing you as a role model then the only way she is going to learn is if you show her that it's not right. I have had someone telling me to stop cutting, asking why I would harm my body like that, cutting me out of their life because I wouldn't listen to him. A month later and he was cutting himself. The ONLY way that you will get through to her is if you show her that you can do without, I know it will be hard, feel impossibe but if she is in an enviroment where people drink, take drugs, smoke ect. then she is most likely going to pick it up and start. Words will do nothing, people don't realise what they mean until it's usually too late and they're addicted. They want to be like the rest I guess, don't want to feel left out? That or they genuinelly do believe it will help.
Im so sorry because I know this isn't what you want to hear but it's the truth, unfortunatly.

[Fractured Silhouette]

If she is seeing you as a role model then the only way she is going to learn is if you show her that it's not right. I have had someone telling me to stop cutting, asking why I would harm my body like that, cutting me out of their life because I wouldn't listen to him. A month later and he was cutting himself. The ONLY way that you will get through to her is if you show her that you can do without, I know it will be hard, feel impossibe but if she is in an enviroment where people drink, take drugs, smoke ect. then she is most likely going to pick it up and start. Words will do nothing, people don't realise what they mean until it's usually too late and they're addicted. They want to be like the rest I guess, don't want to feel left out? That or they genuinelly do believe it will help.
Im so sorry because I know this isn't what you want to hear but it's the truth, unfortunatly.

Agreed. If you prove to her that you don't need to do that stuff it may stop her from becoming the same.

You could to help yourself and your friend if you tell someone. Tell her parents even, then her parents may help her. But the problem with that is it may make her feel betrayed at first and she was cease to be your friend. But at-least she would be less likely to engage in the stuff your going through.

Also it might help to find her some new friends. Or at-least get her away from that environment. It sounds nothing short of toxic (no offense).

I realize both my options may mean your friendship would end, but other than showing her that you can stop, I don't see any other options. Sorry.

Sounds like one hell of a dilemma. Good luck.

[Mortal Coil]

If she is seeing you as a role model then the only way she is going to learn is if you show her that it's not right. I have had someone telling me to stop cutting, asking why I would harm my body like that, cutting me out of their life because I wouldn't listen to him. A month later and he was cutting himself. The ONLY way that you will get through to her is if you show her that you can do without, I know it will be hard, feel impossibe but if she is in an enviroment where people drink, take drugs, smoke ect. then she is most likely going to pick it up and start. Words will do nothing, people don't realise what they mean until it's usually too late and they're addicted. They want to be like the rest I guess, don't want to feel left out? That or they genuinelly do believe it will help.
Im so sorry because I know this isn't what you want to hear but it's the truth, unfortunatly.

Precisely.
+rep for that one, Nikki :)
You're really going to have to lead by example and try to get both of you out of this mess.

[swimmerboy95]

The best thing that you can do to help her if she sees you as a role model would be to stop doing the things you don't want her to do. I know you may enjoy it but if you truly care about her it may be a good idea to put her first. Just my two cents. Hope this helps!

--Alex

[smalltowngirl9189]

Thanks everyone... I've been clean for 2 weeks now...

[Desuetude]

Thanks everyone... I've been clean for 2 weeks now...

That's amazing! You should be so proud of yourself and know that are setting an example to her. Be there for her and show her that you managed to overcome them, that she doesn't need them and that's all you can do. Good luck with everything.