Addict

[Waiting]

okay....
quite unhappy with my whole drugs situation now...
4years ago it was a casual toke on a spliff if it was going

4 years later and now...
now i sell cannabis
i take ectasy and cocaine now
and just smoke so much weed its unreal...cant quite remember the last day where i didnt have any...

my memory is shocking, cant remember anything really...
im so aggresive nowadays its horrible...been fighting more
generally just not a nice person...

drugs are my way of coping..
it makes me feel good and i dont cut nowadays
but its just gone from one addiction (in cutting) to beign addicted to drugs.

i dont really know what to do with myself.
grrrr.






what a pile of wank =[

i knwo you'll all say, i can do what i want and i dont need to do any of it
its my choice and my life is how i make it..blablabla....but lets all face it

Life isnt that simple.....

[Φρανκομβριτ]

Patch,
I was in the exact same position as you. I just couldnt stop the ketamine. Cody payed for a flight to alberta for me, so ive been clean for a very long time. if you need to stop, you just have to get the fuck away from it. i know life is hard and it really really does help you cope. just be careful mate.

[Whisper]

Life isnt simple Patch
how boring would that be.....seriously

It sucks sometimes its dark and cold and just misserable
thats the price we pay for the great times the loves the laughs
balance

you can NOT just say okay i dont want to anymore new leaf la la la la la
no dosnt work like that
you need to get away
far away
so you don't have any on you
and dont have access to any drugs period
rudi's been clean for 21 days now because hes been stuck in duck fuck alberta with me


just get away man

[Waiting]

mate.
gettign away fromt his shitehole is on my top list of priorties.
but that means ive got to complete another year of school just to get to uni at least.
that means i need money.
and money comes from selling drugs.
unfortuntly i cant just fly to alberta cuz i got school and shit. if i dont compelte school thats my future down the plasn and then i'll never be able to get away from it.
and unfortunatly anywhere i go i can get drugs. even in france i manage to get some bud.

[Whisper]

of course you can get it anywhere
Rudi can get it here if he really tried
i mean i'd kill him
but you can get anything here a provience where 18yr olds are making 200grand a yr
dude...theres an alcohol shortage...
theres been meth labs in my lil tiny town

My mum used to be a dealer
paid the rent -shrug-


You need to get away so your not near the peer preassure of your friends and your not near the local dealers you know
then you need to honestly try


or just go to rehab

or don't stop

your choice
in the end your the one that it effects

and seriously
if your addicted to that much shit
your futures in trouble already
a yr off to clean up or keep doing what you are

Where exactly do you see yourself in 5yrs?

-shrug-
its all your choice in the end patch

[Waiting]

heh unfortunatly its not peer preasure that makes me do it
and i supply my town...and i go to school in the town that supplys me..
So its kinda endless really...

i make alot of money from it
and get most of my drugs for free...so its not expensive or anything
its just... yeah fucking up my mind a bit HA....
but then again before drugsi was cutting myself for four years.
(sorry ifmy typing is shit..bit pissed right now)

even if i did quit school, my job, and dealing...
that just means i got nowhere to go...
no form of income..

i dont come from a rich family and money is hard to come by
im stuck here and educations my onyl way out..,,
and i have to cpmplete it to get out.

[Whisper]

What about a relative?
Thats what I did
I moved into the basement app of my sisters house for 5months and worked in the oilfeild
horribly long hours allot of sleeping in the truck out in the middle of nowhere
i loved it
no time to think
keep your head down do what your told get paid
mmm mmm gooood

your drugs arent free
you might not pay cash for them but its lost profit which means they cost you



i'm not trying to be a jerk patch
your my friend and I care about you
but you gotta stop man
if you dont its gonna come bck n bite ya
the pot i dont care about because its not chemically addictive
its less addictive then beer
just feels good

but the other shit
you gotta quit

[Bobby]

Patch, I'm not very experienced in this field, and if I recall you don't like me very much but here I go:

Is money the only reason you turn to drugs? If so, then try to get a job, and work hard for the money.

As for the addiction, you should get help.

[Break the Cage]

Mate, you sound pretty much exactly where I am right now. The weed is really starting to take over and I don't know if I want to let it.
I have to smoke everyday, somehow I manage it every day. I can't remember the last day I went without having a few joints at least.
I forget things like what I did just a few days ago, time seems to blend together, I stumble with words. Its bad.
Its so interwound with everything I do, all my friends are massive stoners, my girlfriends starting to do it more often now because shes with me so much, at college half the people there are stoners.
I don't want to stop, but I don't want weed to play this much of a part in my life.
I do other shit too, but no addiction developing yet.

[Trebor]

Patch,
I was in the exact same position as you. I just couldnt stop the ketamine. Cody payed for a flight to alberta for me, so ive been clean for a very long time. if you need to stop, you just have to get the fuck away from it. i know life is hard and it really really does help you cope. just be careful mate.

Please descibe Ketamine.

[Break the Cage]

Very strange drug really, anaesthetic in large doses. usually snorted, effects include loss of control, small visual changes, time perception fades, everythings very weird basically

[Whisper]

its a cat tranqulizer with uhhh...stuff mixed in

[serial-thrilla]

its also given to young children and old people because out of all the anaesthetics its one of the safest. not a good idea to get addicted to the stuff though.

[Break the Cage]

cody - horse not cat, and its a derivative i believe, not the actual shit they inject horses with.

[Rawrbaby]

Patch u should follow some of the advice that the ones above said the best thing u could do is go to rehabilation center and ask for help or just pray to god about or just get away get a friend to take u somewhere where u can get help dont be no stupid get help u r in my prayers hope this helps and i hope u get help to

[Φρανκομβριτ]

cody - horse not cat, and its a derivative i believe, not the actual shit they inject horses with.

no, ketamine, ketalar, and ketacet are all cat tranq's. PCP is horse.

[Break the Cage]

oops, sorry.
PCP is fucking horrible stuff.

[Cap'nCrunch]

I ain't gonna tell you you can quit, because you already know you can. Cut out the X and the coke. Keep the marijuana to help you stop using the stimulants. Quit smoking weed when you're comfortable.

If none of that shit works, try (bear with me) finding something ELSE that makes you happy that isn't a drug. Music. Girls. Art. Cars. I don't know.

KETAMINE CORRECTIONS
"small visual changes, time perception fades"
Huge visual changes -- the user is sometimes taken to completely different "planes" of exitence. Time is lost. Seconds can become hours in the user's mind.

"its a cat tranqulizer with uhhh...stuff mixed in"
True, it's a cat tranq, but there's almost never anything else in it. Just pure Ketamine HCl.

"cody - horse not cat, and its a derivative i believe, not the actual shit they inject horses with."
Ketamine is indeed the actual shit they inject horses with. The same stuff goes into cats, dogs, humans, and horses. Ketamine is, however, becoming less and less common in surgical procedures because of the "nightmares" it produces (emergence reactions).

"PCP is horse."
I don't think PCP was ever used on horses. PCP used to be used on humans, but the reactions were even worse than ketamine's, so they stopped a loooong time ago. I can guarantee they don't use PCP on horses today. 100% ketamine.

[Antares]

i am at a lost for words now but i guess my advice is just to start phasing stuff out. becusae im assuming in reality you dont need/want all of them.

[kolte]

D.R.U.G.S.


They are a blessing and a curse. One great side effect, and hundreds of horrid ones. I don't know you, never will, but advice from a stranger is always welcome, or at least thats what I think. No judgment here, don't know you, cant judge you. What it really comes down to is why you do the drugs. Its not hard to tell that 99% (no way I could know that number right?) of the folks who use drugs do it to escape. To run away. To get away. This isn't always bad. Some people use it for religious and spiritual purposes, but its plain that your not one of these people. Hell, to me, drugs are a counterculture. Its a way of saying FUCK YOU to those who want to keep you in your seat, your eyes glued to a television screen. (metaphor for the man; man being a metaphor for, well, you know. anyways) You have to decide if your reasons are justified, or if your just out for quick thrills. Heres to your health eh? Reality is bleak, but also riveting, and awe inspiring. Pain lets you know your alive, and it reminds you the price of your happiness. But hell, I'd give an arm to be happy, if something only made me happy. Thats a drug really. A pill that induces happiness. But the sad fact is that once the bud, the X, the cocaine...the speed, once its over, your spun back into reality. And the horror's are twice as obvious, driving you to light up the pipe, to roll the money and inhale the powder. And hell, its a great ride, but it never just slows down and lets you off. It shuts down, mid ride, and leaves you hanging upside down, the only way to save yourself is to take some more, let the ride keep going, so that you don't just hang there, the blood rushing to your head. But remember, if you just wait, a fireman will come to the rescue, (hopefully a really hot fireman, with nothing but overalls on, yeah) and hell free you from the ride. (metaphor for friend, or rehab, or whatever saves you).


You need to lay off the chemicals. If you think you were created, or even if you think you were sprouted from the waters ( i like the latter) its important to keep it natural. Only when mankind fucks with shit, does it smell bad( metaphor hinting to keep it natural).


I know its a rather large and uninviting stair case filled with nails and splinters, and you have to crawl on your belly, naked and sleep deprived. But a ton of people do it. And its better then being left in the basement to starve. I'll let you figure that one out for yourself.


Live, love and learn. And let the pain and the sadness be incentive to be happy, eh?


*hugs* (take a nap, read a book all night, watch the sunrise, and just thank something, be it god, or just the damn clouds, that your alive to see it all. The good the bad the happy the sad. Drugs are nothing compared to the high you get just being alive. An added bonus, you'll live way longer, and be conscious enough to see all that life stuff.


And don't let the capitalist system of appropriating wealth and getting a good education and steady job bring you down. I say, fuck that, find what it is that makes it all worth while, and fucking do it. (except for drugs cause that shit makes it worse in the long run) Be an artist, no matter what field. See the color in the black and white picture. LOVE.

[Trebor]

no, ketamine, ketalar, and ketacet are all cat tranq's. PCP is horse.


Nope, ketamine is used for horses aswell. It's generally used tov treat large animals but there is a less effective soloution used for smaller animals. And PCP has no anasthetic properties what so ever.

[Cap'nCrunch]

Nope, ketamine is used for horses aswell. It's generally used tov treat large animals but there is a less effective soloution used for smaller animals. And PCP has no anasthetic properties what so ever.

Ketamine is used on cats and dogs -- what most people would consider small animals. PCP is VERY anaesthetic. Extremely so. Ketamine is a PCP analogue, so they're going to be similiar in effect.

[I'm cool like spongebob]

well doesn't sound like u'll be giving up any time soon......

[Waiting]

i know i shouldn't really bump this thread as its old...but i figure i might as well keep this one going and update my progress instead of making a new thread about the same thing.

Erm ive calmed down alot recently. a hell of a lot
managed to get out of dealing. (it does suck loosing all the money benifits)
but its a good thing (or at least im gonna keep telling myself so)

since i made this thread ive gone from smoking weed every single day of my life, doing pills, mdma or coke at least 3 times a week

to

smoking weed roughly 3 times a week
and taken pills twice in the last month, mdma once and coke twice...

i'm sure you'll agree im doign alot fucking better!

[Bobby]

That's great to hear Patch, just keep up the progress :D