Why don't I feel proud...

[Crystal-Clear]

Hi, I'm somewhat of a former self harmer
Somewhat being the operative word here.
I've been on and off cutting for around 4 years now, right now is an 'off' phase.
Because well basically when I started I knew loadsa people doing it, and after some stuff happened, I thought if it helped them, it helped me. Thats why I started, but after that I just carried on doing it, over anything.
Then I met my current boyfriend, and I told him after a month or so, and he wanted me to stop, and so I miraculously went a whole year, I just went cold turkey, but then things got a bit shook up and I messed up that count.
Anyways since then I've not managed more than 5 months, until now.
I met a guy last year, and his now one of my best friends, and pretty much him and my boyfriend have been everything to my success.
I've been clean for 10 months, and this is the second longest time I've gone, but despite everything, I still want to cut, I still get urges, and I can't count on my best friend and boyfriend all the time, can I?

Why don't I feel proud of myself?
One more question, do people here think theres such a thing as an ex-self harmer? Or is it just a self harmer that doesn't cut??

I don't want to be classed a self harmer that just doesn't cut forever..

[Waiting]

hey there
i hate to say this but these urges are gonna stay for a while...they'll fade eventually.
ive been clean (bar one or two slip ups in october,) since march 2005.
for the most part if i get upset or angry, i dont even think about cutting
but ocasionaly i do have my moments where i feel the urge.
its will power and strength i use to get me through.
i stay away from knives and do something to chill me out.

it sucks that yo still get urges, but they will eventually leave.
unfortunatly cutting is like smoking. no matter if you quit, you will still get cravings every now and again for a while.
hope you feel better
Patch
X

[Chaos_and_Disorder]

I tell you the honest truth. When I started to stop, I hated myself. Because it was like my blade was apart of me that I was trying so hard to change. I didn't feel proud when everyone else did. I felt guilty and worthless because I needed my blade to get through. My blade made me feel proud. I began to get suicidal because I wasn't cutting. Some people are extremely different.

Cutting isn't the only form of self harm.
- Burning.
- Hitting.
- Breaking bones.
- Scratching.
- Biting.

Those are other types.

[Never_Forget]

dw, ive been clean for a few months now, just find something to occupy ur mind, and whe yu getthe urge just sya to yourself ill do it in 10 minutes then after 10 minutes say it again and again and again and it should leave.