SolarSolexis
March 21st, 2012, 03:59 AM
I am a 15 year old guy (turning 16 very soon) and I am homeschooled. I guess I have to go into SOME detail without being too descriptive (I tend to do that...). Anyways, here is the story.
I have been going to this church for the past 2 years or more. It was a very small church, and it was very comfortable. No insane "holy" people, either. Just regular people, which I liked. All of the Youth Group never talked to me (Even the ones I knew from school). They never invited me to do things with them, etc. So at first I kind of "got over" it. But then, it suddenly turned around about a year later. They were nice to me, they talked to me, I felt apart of things. I even got to be best friends with this guy there. We played games together a lot and stuff like that. Then, out of no where, he starts being rude to me. I have a lot of medical problems (Immune disorders, back problems, vein disease, stomach problems, migraines, more I am probably not thinking of...) and we had a "Youth Group" renovation night full of painting and moving things and stuff like that. I helped to the best of my ability, and thought I did a good enough job given that I am the worst one off with medical problems. But this guy (who claims to be my best friend) is telling me I did an awful job, then he told me that I hardly worked at all. No one else stuck up for me. He continued to do stuff like this after the renovation night had ended. For example, he purposefully excluded me from games and such. No one ever said anything about it. And to me, if these people are Christian, then why are they acting like this...? Anyway...
I eventually stopped being friends with him. About six months after that, the entire youth group stops talking to me again. None of them have anything to do with me. They will all go out to eat, go see a movie, etc. And NONE of them will invite me. Whenever they were standing around talking, I could walk up and talk to them, and they all walk away within the next few minutes. They never invite me to any of the games the play at the Church (I feel like Rudolf lol! Never invited him to play in any reindeer games :P). After all of this (plus a bunch of stuff I haven't mentioned involving the adults) we come to now. I finally have had enough and quit going. But ever since I have stopped going I feel so blank. Like I have nothing in me at all.
You see, when I went to church, I felt like "Even though they aren't nice to me, at least I am around people." Where now, I am never around ANYONE except for my Mom, my Sister, and myself. My sister is also homeschooled and is VERY annoying (she acts like she is 5, and she is 18). My mom has lost her job recently so she is ALWAYS around the house. My mom is a major neat freak, too. So she is always yelling at me to pick up every little thing. Now I have no place to go to get away from my house, and I have no way to ever be by myself.
I was just focusing myself only on school, but it's too easy. I've completed all of my sophomore classes, and almost done with 1/6 of my Junior ones, too. Then I was playing a bunch of old games, but once again, they are too easy. I don't have any friends here anymore, because they have all moved away. So it's not like I have any options there.
I keep wanting to see a counselor but my mom refuses to take me because she thinks they are quacks. Then I tried talking to her about my problems, and she tries making me feel guilty about even talking about myself because she is going threw a divorce with my step dad. I've tried talking to my Grandma, but she is severely ill and I am scared that if I talk to her, she will get too stressed out and have a heart attack and die. The rest of my family either works all of the time, does drugs, or drinks. I wish I could move in with my dad and my step mom, but they just recently moved and are too far away.
I haven't even scratched the surface with a lot of things, and I know this sounds more like a stupid sob story than anything else. Which makes me feel guilty for taking up anybodies time. But I guess to get to the point: What would people recommend? I don't know how to stop these feelings of emptiness and blankness. Any ideas?
I have been going to this church for the past 2 years or more. It was a very small church, and it was very comfortable. No insane "holy" people, either. Just regular people, which I liked. All of the Youth Group never talked to me (Even the ones I knew from school). They never invited me to do things with them, etc. So at first I kind of "got over" it. But then, it suddenly turned around about a year later. They were nice to me, they talked to me, I felt apart of things. I even got to be best friends with this guy there. We played games together a lot and stuff like that. Then, out of no where, he starts being rude to me. I have a lot of medical problems (Immune disorders, back problems, vein disease, stomach problems, migraines, more I am probably not thinking of...) and we had a "Youth Group" renovation night full of painting and moving things and stuff like that. I helped to the best of my ability, and thought I did a good enough job given that I am the worst one off with medical problems. But this guy (who claims to be my best friend) is telling me I did an awful job, then he told me that I hardly worked at all. No one else stuck up for me. He continued to do stuff like this after the renovation night had ended. For example, he purposefully excluded me from games and such. No one ever said anything about it. And to me, if these people are Christian, then why are they acting like this...? Anyway...
I eventually stopped being friends with him. About six months after that, the entire youth group stops talking to me again. None of them have anything to do with me. They will all go out to eat, go see a movie, etc. And NONE of them will invite me. Whenever they were standing around talking, I could walk up and talk to them, and they all walk away within the next few minutes. They never invite me to any of the games the play at the Church (I feel like Rudolf lol! Never invited him to play in any reindeer games :P). After all of this (plus a bunch of stuff I haven't mentioned involving the adults) we come to now. I finally have had enough and quit going. But ever since I have stopped going I feel so blank. Like I have nothing in me at all.
You see, when I went to church, I felt like "Even though they aren't nice to me, at least I am around people." Where now, I am never around ANYONE except for my Mom, my Sister, and myself. My sister is also homeschooled and is VERY annoying (she acts like she is 5, and she is 18). My mom has lost her job recently so she is ALWAYS around the house. My mom is a major neat freak, too. So she is always yelling at me to pick up every little thing. Now I have no place to go to get away from my house, and I have no way to ever be by myself.
I was just focusing myself only on school, but it's too easy. I've completed all of my sophomore classes, and almost done with 1/6 of my Junior ones, too. Then I was playing a bunch of old games, but once again, they are too easy. I don't have any friends here anymore, because they have all moved away. So it's not like I have any options there.
I keep wanting to see a counselor but my mom refuses to take me because she thinks they are quacks. Then I tried talking to her about my problems, and she tries making me feel guilty about even talking about myself because she is going threw a divorce with my step dad. I've tried talking to my Grandma, but she is severely ill and I am scared that if I talk to her, she will get too stressed out and have a heart attack and die. The rest of my family either works all of the time, does drugs, or drinks. I wish I could move in with my dad and my step mom, but they just recently moved and are too far away.
I haven't even scratched the surface with a lot of things, and I know this sounds more like a stupid sob story than anything else. Which makes me feel guilty for taking up anybodies time. But I guess to get to the point: What would people recommend? I don't know how to stop these feelings of emptiness and blankness. Any ideas?