How to interact with new people ?

[sweky123]

I'm a realyyyyy anxious and shy person. I'm really lonelly and want to meet new friends but I never have anything to say to new people i could interact with... it really gets me frustrated that i dont know how to interact and connect with other people... I talk normally with my colleagues and in that moment I dont feel or look shy, but I can never make deep connections with anyone... I don't have anything in commom with anyone I know. My relation with others is so superficial, while others meet someone today and are dating or best friends a few days after.

:( help me please

[Desuetude]

Well firstly this thread (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showpost.php?p=305945&postcount=1)might be of some help.

Talk about things you enjoy doing or know about for example hobbies or something on the news that you've seen. It doesn't have to be deep conversation to become friends, keeping it light and simple can help you just as easily. It takes time to get to know someone and if people are becoming bestfriends or going out after a few days then good for them but personally I would like to get to know them more and it seems that's the same for you. Friendships take time to build up so don't worry if you don't connect straight away maybe try sticking with it for a while and seeing how things play out. Go out and meet people if you feel that you have nothing in common with the people you know, that's the best way to make new friends.

[Jabbawocke]

Im very shy too :P I may seem loud and friendly, but inside im really not good with meeting new people. I suck at conversing, I stumble on my words. But I do know how to get to know people...
-Take up interesting topics.
-Don't just say ok, and yeah, put further details into the conversation.
-Don't be conscious about yourself. Relax.
-sInvite them for lunch etc, to strengthen your relationship
-Don't be an akward noob :3

[BassSwagg]

Well,personaly me and my bestfriend have NOTHING in common we're completaly different people, she likes pop i like alternative, she likes yoga pants, i like jeans, she likes soda, i like coffee but bonded over our differences, talking about why we liked what we liked and why we disliked the other things in life. and it all started with me saying "hey, i like your jacket." that was five years ago and here she is sitting next to me listen to lady gaga in her yoga pants while im in a band t with some ripped black jeans rockin out to escape the fate :))

[Abnormal]

Do what I do: don't talk to someone expecting to make a friend. Just talk to them, get to know them a bit if you can and then decide if you want to be friends with them or not.

[sweky123]

Thanks for all the help so far.

I've met a boy some months ago who's from my town. I have been trying to make a deeper friendship with him but he's not making it any easy or smooth. I can't really understand what is preventing us from becoming closer. Is it me or him ? :confused:
I've been doing all I can, I always go make him company when he is alone after school, i fixed his computer and helped him with all i could, then i invited him over my place, invited him to go cycling (i know he likes) with another colleague but his answers are allways like " I dont know... whatever". I don't understand why is he being so unresponsive and unwilling. It really kills me to imagine all the unforgettable moments we could have... We both lose because he's being stupid.

Besides him, I don't see any other target, thats why he is so important. But i'm still here, alone, empty. :(

Thanks for caring about what I say.

[sweky123]

Please help me for God's sake :(

[Desuetude]

Sometimes things get skipped or people just don't know what to say so just keep calm and when bumping the thread don't sound so aggressive.

You might not see any other "targets" now but that's why you go out and meet new people, get to know them. It seems your friendship is all one sided. It won't work unless you are both willing to work and put in the same amount of effort into maintaining contact with each other. If he doesn't want to then there isn't much you can do about it. You could always try telling him how you feel and that you want to become closer friends, you might get some response out of that? Really though you need friends that are going to be there for you like you are for them.

[sweky123]

Thanks MyOblivion.
I'm not in any aggressive mood, more desperate.
I never find it a good sign when people don't know what to say about my situations...

anyway, its true what you said, and made me think.
I wish i had the ease to meet new people that apparently everyone else has...
The ideal was to join some activity where I could meet people i had something in common with, but there isn't anything i like. I live in a miniscule town, noting to do here, so i go school in another city, neither anything decent to choose from, mostly sports that i honestly don't like. :what:

[Desuetude]

Hey it's fine. People just don't want to spam threads (usually) so they leave it. It's nothing you should be worried about, a lot of threads don't have posts because people are just stumped as to how to help. Bumping is the best way and you're sure to get someone posting.

Extra curricular activity. That's a great idea. Maybe a job or something as well of you're old enough. Any places where you can put yourself in social situations meeting new people would be good. It doesn't have to be a sport. It could be something at a rec centre Just as simple as craft or, just literally anything that allows you to interact with others.

[prob1996]

Im very shy too :P I may seem loud and friendly, but inside im really not good with meeting new people. I suck at conversing, I stumble on my words. But I do know how to get to know people...
-Take up interesting topics.
-Don't just say ok, and yeah, put further details into the conversation.
-Don't be conscious about yourself. Relax.
-sInvite them for lunch etc, to strengthen your relationship
-Don't be an akward noob :3
I'm alot like this too and those are some good tips. I would also add that ppl love to talk about themselves, ask them soemthing about what they like to do, guarenteed they'll tell u all aobut it and u might find something off that to work up a conversation




Extra curricular activity. That's a great idea. Maybe a job or something as well of you're old enough. Any places where you can put yourself in social situations meeting new people would be good. It doesn't have to be a sport. It could be something at a rec centre Just as simple as craft or, just literally anything that allows you to interact with others.

[B]this is also a great idea. just find something that allows for interaction w/ other ppl. youth groups at church. [


Its tough meeting new ppl when u feel u have nothing in common with them but like the above posters have said, it is a two sided thing so not everyone is always going to have the same interests but u can make friendships with ppl and totally be opposite in likes. good luck and keep us posted! :)