Hey I am 15 and I have a very personal issue that i need help with! Please help me!

[bubbles]

ok, i know that im not wierd but i do need to know if any of you have felt this way or something similar and if its normal...about a month ago my friend told me that her dad tried to molest her. ever since then i have been thinking omg what if my dad was like that it wouldbe horrible. i know for a fact my dad is a great guy and i have never felt safer or more comfortable with any guy. I am close to my dad but i began getting these stupid thoughts in my mind like "are these shorts too short to wear in front of him?" stuff that didnt make sense to me because i totally dont think my dad as being a wierdo and he has been nothing but great to me. I started to feel really bad and wierd that i got these stupid thoughts but i couldn't help it. i have been feeling wierd about it and bad ever since because i know the good person my dad is. r these just hormones going crazy or was it that and the scariness of the story my friend told me? help bcuz im driving myself nuts!

thnx
xoxoxo bubbles

[MoveAlong]

Welcome to the forums! :D

First I wanna say that thanks for posting, I haven't seen a question like this ever but it's a very good one.

From what I can tell, this might be because of some hormones but it can also be from stress or worrying. The hormones might be affecting your judgement and might swing your moods to over react a little bit.

You could maybe tone it down a bit (if you wear short shorts all the time), but there isn't much to worry about because not all fathers do this and you feel calm with your father. You could also tell yourself or reassure yourself.

Still, the best thing you can do is talk to your own dad about it to get reassureance. I'm sure he'll understand if he knows enough of the story. Then he can give you advice from there.

[bubbles]

thnx movealong...i have realized how silly my thoughts were but now i cant stop thinking about how wierd i am 4 even thinkn twice bout it n now i feel guilty and wierd bout it....like im da only one who has ever asked themselves questions like that when they have no need to. It would b different if my dad was like my friend's dad but he not. dats why i feel guilty n like da only one who has thought dat.... any1 who reads this plz tell me if its normal...thnks so much

[MoveAlong]

Yeah, that's plenty normal. You're not the only one! You're not weird for thinking about it twice, there's always worries we have to have everywhere we go. We just deal with those :D

[ThatCanadianGuy]

It IS a pretty scary thing. "My dad is great... he'd NEVER even think about that... right?". That's how most people may feel when they hear stories like these about other people. You just can't see someone that's so important in your life thinking or doing things like this; and sometimes you can get a little paranoid about such things (like being scared of serial killers being in your neighborhood after watching a horror movie). Just remember; your dad loves you with all his heart, and you know from your relationship with him (which seems to be REALLY good! :D ) that he would NEVER do anything to hurt you.

[roxy_lolol]

I understand, when I hear stories I think 'AHH IMAGINE MY DAD LIKE THAT' And I get scared even though he's a widely respected man and the last person I would think of doing that! You shouldn't feel guilty because it HAS happened to your friend after all?

But I don't recommend talking to your dad about it, because he might get the wrong idea and think you are calling him a pervert or something. I think if you told him he would be scared to hug you or something in case you would think that's weird. I think you should just carry on with your life, and when a thought like that comes up just laugh to yourself and think your being stupid.

Say, with the shorts thing I just think you should wear them, afterall your dad just looks at you as his beautiful daughter. And if the idea he would molest you was possible he is going to do it whether you wear short shorts or not! Just wear them, and keep telling yourself you're just being silly. Prehaps tell your MUM and laugh about it casually saying you know it's silly. Don't make it a big deal, everyone has silly thoughts. Just don't start toning things down and never wearing anything but a cotton wool suit in front of him!!

If you start by not wearing the shorts, then you will get more and more paranoid and it will become a habbit not to even touch your dad anymore! Just think about how silly it is, and get on with your life pushing these thoughts away.

Your not alone! I sometimes think things like this, don't worry!

[Enkoi]

Yeah its normal, and at least its good that you prepare yourself to worry about these things. I've heard things like in my health class for example, when we were talking about dating and abuse. I started to worry my bf was like that so i'd be more sensitve to him touching me because I worried so much.
You gotta look into it deeper and just reevaluate your relationship with your father. If you say things are going great, nothing out of the ordinary than I really doubt something will happen. But no one can blame you for being paranoid. It's just normal. And if you don't prepare yourself for something bad sometimes, even if it never happens, you may help some one else out in the future because of it.

But over all don't worry too much unless something really starts to be fishy.

[MoveAlong]

Good advice everybody! =]

It IS a pretty scary thing. "My dad is great... he'd NEVER even think about that... right?". That's how most people may feel when they hear stories like these about other people. You just can't see someone that's so important in your life thinking or doing things like this; and sometimes you can get a little paranoid about such things (like being scared of serial killers being in your neighborhood after watching a horror movie). Just remember; your dad loves you with all his heart, and you know from your relationship with him (which seems to be REALLY good! :D ) that he would NEVER do anything to hurt you.

QFT (quoted for truth)

[bubbles]

hey everyone thanks soooooo much for all of your help. I feel so much better, you have no idea! You all have helped me not feel like the only one who has these silly thoughts and even though we have them here and there and they don't make sense, we can't let them control us. You all have showed me that and I really, again, thank you for your support sooo much!

[CryingEye666]

hey bubbles
you're not alone
I personally dont have weird imaginations of my dad molesting me.
but i when people say things, and i hear those things, some times it gets stuck in my head and i get paranoid of it. so yea i imagine weird things in my head a lot too. you're not alone =P

[Sapphire]

Must say I completely understand.
I know this isn't the same but my dad bullied me ever since I was little and I do sometimes get paranoid that he'll get violent (against my better judgement) My paranoia is particularly bad after hearing stories of domestic abuse.
It is a natural thing, you are not alone and you need not feel bad about it.

[BikiniGal]

My parents allow me to walk around the house nude if i want..weird huh?they say it is part of growing up

[BikiniGal]

if he is a good guy you got nothing 2 be afraid of

[Emryl]

It's pretty scary, but that's just her father. Some dads are great guys! Although, you do have a right to be concerned.

[inuyashahoty22]

It's normal. i felt the same way when my freind told me about when her granfather raped her.

[iSX4man08]

ok, i know that im not wierd but i do need to know if any of you have felt this way or something similar and if its normal...about a month ago my friend told me that her dad tried to molest her. ever since then i have been thinking omg what if my dad was like that it wouldbe horrible. i know for a fact my dad is a great guy and i have never felt safer or more comfortable with any guy. I am close to my dad but i began getting these stupid thoughts in my mind like "are these shorts too short to wear in front of him?" stuff that didnt make sense to me because i totally dont think my dad as being a wierdo and he has been nothing but great to me. I started to feel really bad and wierd that i got these stupid thoughts but i couldn't help it. i have been feeling wierd about it and bad ever since because i know the good person my dad is. r these just hormones going crazy or was it that and the scariness of the story my friend told me? help bcuz im driving myself nuts!

thnx
xoxoxo bubbles

Listen if your friend told you her dad tried to molest her then you need to step up and be there for her. I would go to an adult like a teacher, coach, or some adult you can trust even the police and you need to tell them about this. The world has enough rapists and molesters help your friend!!

And don't worry about the thoughts you were having your completely normal don't worry about it. If you are close with your dad and you really trust him i would say try not to think about it and reassure yourself that he loves you and would never do something like that

[Gumleaf]

ok, this is old. so locking.