Why do people always seem to drift apart?

[Shortie]

I'm here because I have this friend I've known for a little over the last two years, the last year of that we were really close, we could talk to each other about everything without feeling like we being judged. I helped her with some real personal issues late last year and she comforted me when i need it. Well in around mid February this year she moved and despite my efforts to continue the friendship, she doesn't seem interested. She even got a little upset with me about two weeks ago because I sent a couple of texts a day to her. So I gave her some space and I've hardly heard anything from her since.

I'd do anything to go back in time to when we were real close. Just writing this makes me want to tear up. I miss her so much =(

[Wicked_Syn]

I'm sorry to hear :(

I had a friend who was just like yours. Me and his friendship where vary similar to yours, we even called each other brothers. Not bros, but brothers.

Me and my friend went into high school with mixing into different social circles. That was ultimately what really drove us apart, next to the fact that I was a bit of a maniac back then :)

Anyway, I suggest that you talk to your friend. And no I don't mean like:

"Hey girly! What's up?"

I mean like actually sit down, and explain your emotions to her. Explain to her that you are feeling hurt from the sudden loss of contact and let her know that you are still interested in being friends. Ask her to just be honest with you. When she moved, she may have fallen into a different social circle/clique than you would guess, so she may be acting weird. But as I said, just sit down and make sure that you write/text her and tell her that you really are upset about the situation and that you would like to figure out what is going on, and if she decides to just brush you off, or ignore you, then I would just let it be, or maybe on down the road try again. She may just need time to get back to normal.

Anyway,
Good luck with your situation :)

[Mortal Coil]

People fall apart because our personalities are in a constant state of flux: one week you live one artist, the next you find that one song really repetitive, etc. I'm really sorry you and your friend aren't close anymore, but you will move on. You will find someone who is a good friend to you, I swear on my life.
Also, being unable to see each other means that you're not necessarily reminded of your relationship, especially since she moved away and can't see the places you went together or make (lighthearted) fun of the same classmates you used to laugh at.
Like I said, I'm sorry you drifted apart, but you'll get better :)

[Shortie]

Thank you to both of you for your help and advise. I read your other post Wicked and I can see its similar, I'm sorry for you too.

I want to catchup and talk to her but I'm scared now to contact her in case she gets upset with me. It's like I don't want to upset her, I don't want to make her feel bad but I do need to see her and this tears me apart. :(

[Desuetude]

I want to catchup and talk to her but I'm scared now to contact her in case she gets upset with me. It's like I don't want to upset her, I don't want to make her feel bad but I do need to see her and this tears me apart. :(

Long distant relationships are always hard especially when you think you're so close and then you realise that they have a whole different life that you're not part of. If you want to be friends again you're going to have to contact her, it's the only way she will know and the only way you can do anything about it but remember because of the distance you both need to want to stay in touch otherwise it's just one person trying to maintain a friendship that will surely result to nothing.
It shouldn't upset her that you want to stay friends? Not unless something happened between you or she just wants to forget about something that happened before she moved and talking to you brings memories back. Do you know of anything big that she could be upset about?
If she means that much to you then try your hardest to talk to her. It might seem best to just leave it and think that it will be fine after a couple of days but honestly it just makes you feel further apart.
If you don't want to lose her then I suggest you try to stay in touch everyday but if she doesn't want to be friends with you then Im not sure there is anything you can do? The distance makes it harder so if she tells you to leave her alone then maybe it's time to move on and find friends close to you so you can build on new friendships.
I know it's hard right now but over time it will get better and remember people do change so she might not be the same person she left you as. Try not to think about her too much, it will be hard but keep yourself busy, go out and see some friends and eventually it will start to get easier.

[Dimentio]

I am really really sorry about this it sounds bad and i know what it is like but we here on VT ar here for you :) Just friendships when people are around their teen years never seem to great. Not everyone drifts apart, My friend who is a girl, We have known each other for 13 years, Were best friends, Dated 6-7 times, Disliked each other for a while, But now we are besties again :) So not everyone drifts. I hope your friend starts takling to you again soon though it sounded like you had a good friendship.

[Shortie]

Thanks to both of you! There is nothing major that I can think of that I've done to upset her. Also when I say she moved away, it's only a half hour drive or so, so it's not a real long distance and both of us can drive. Only other thing I can think of is she has a boyfriend and I was talking to a mutual friend and she said that when my friend is in a relationship she has a tendency to "ditch" her friends and spend all her time with him.

I think she moved recently because of bad anxiety attacks (what I said I was helping her over the Xmas period) and couldn't take it anymore where she was living. Even so, I just don't understand how someone can go from being so close to not wanting to put in the effort to remain friends in such a short time.

I'd do anything to keep this friendship, I feel very alone right now, she was the one person I trust with everything. :(

[Desuetude]

Thanks to both of you! There is nothing major that I can think of that I've done to upset her. Also when I say she moved away, it's only a half hour drive or so, so it's not a real long distance and both of us can drive. Only other thing I can think of is she has a boyfriend and I was talking to a mutual friend and she said that when my friend is in a relationship she has a tendency to "ditch" her friends and spend all her time with him.
Well ditching her friends for a boyfriend is not cool. Then expecting everyone to welcome her back with open arms? I know you care about her a lot but she shouldn't be making you feel like that. Friends over boys every time, you should come first. I know that doesn't help things but just think over how much she means to you if she puts a boy that she hardly knows over you. I knoe that might sound harsh but if she doesn't want to be friends anymore you need to try to respect that and get over her in a way.
I think she moved recently because of bad anxiety attacks (what I said I was helping her over the Xmas period) and couldn't take it anymore where she was living. Even so, I just don't understand how someone can go from being so close to not wanting to put in the effort to remain friends in such a short time.
The only reason I can think of is that she just wants to forget all about what it was like living there. Maybe you just remind her too much?
I'd do anything to keep this friendship, I feel very alone right now, she was the one person I trust with everything. :(
I know I might have sounded unsensetive and i really am sorry if it came off like that. It is hard when you lose someone you care so much about. Just know that she isn't the only one you can go to. You can build up friendships to that point with someone else, you just need to move on. If you do need anyone to talk to them I am here for you and Im sure lots of people on VT are willing to help in any way they can.

[Shortie]

Thanks Nikki, you weren't being harsh or insensitive. I was going to try talking with my friend today but I keep puttin it off for "tomorrow", I guess so I give her another day to contact me, well I can hope. Like you said I shouldn't be soo scared but I am. Is it normal to miss your best friend so much? Sometimes I hate myself for having emotions!!

[Desuetude]

Well Im glad I didn't offend you :) It will be hard talking to her but if you keep putting it off then it's only going to get harder and you will just get more worried while your friendship could be deteriorating. It's okay to be scared, something that means an awful lot to you is on the line here, just know that nothing can get better if you won't do anything about it. It is though I wouldn't know. I've never had a best friend but one of my friends have gone on holiday for a week and her best friend keeps on going on and on about how much she misses her and can't wait until shes back tomorrow so yes, don't feel that there is something wrong with you. Ack, know that feeling, im waaay to sensetive but we just have to cope as best we can.

[Shortie]

OMGOMG!!! She called me today, going to see her soon!! I can't wait, going to give her the biggest hugzz lol
I just hope we can reconnect!!

[Desuetude]

OMGOMG!!! She called me today, going to see her soon!! I can't wait, going to give her the biggest hugzz lol
I just hope we can reconnect!!

Im really happy for you!!! Just make sure you keep in contact and don't let her go because it seems like you really need her.

[botwa]

oh, I understand you. I had this kind of friend too. To be honest I always felt like I have much more towards her than she has for me but this feeling wasn't constant. and after I we changed schools I went on trying to stay close with her but alas. it seems that she moved on and I recommend you to do the same. move on and you'll find a good friend that will never leave you. sooner or later you will find one.