Fiction
March 15th, 2012, 04:11 PM
I guess this message is sort of a goodbye from me. I've enjoyed my time here, and as a mod but i've been here just over 2 years now and I think it's time for me to move on. I will only be lurking from now on. I've deleted most people from here from any offsite contact. To any of you that this applies too, please don't take it personally, i'm just moving on.
The reason i'm posting it here is because the psych ward has been my real home the last 2 years. All the people here have been such a big part of my life and I really do love you all so much. Also I guess I wanted to give you some advice.
I'm sure most of you know my story. I'm a self harmer, i've had an eating disorder, and i've had two hospitalised suicide attempts. The last one of those attempts was just 2 months ago.
That suicide attempt changed me. It made me determined to get better this time. I strongly believe that's all recovery takes. It takes a will, and it takes effort. It takes being selfish.
One thing i've noticed about many people on here is their willingness to help others. It's beautiful, it really is, but I want to remind you all to look after yourselves first. No one is going to do it for you, and no one knows what you need as much as you do. The world is what you make it, and if you make it into a place where you're relied on you're only hurting yourself. Fuck what everyone else wants from you, and what they want you to be, you're your own person and you will be happy in the end.
Being a teenager is shit, especially when you're suffering from mental health issues on top of that, but there is always always something worth living for. Leave everyone hurting you behind. They're not worth your time. Surround yourself with people who make you happy and make the most of every second with them.
Life is beautiful. I'm sure you've all heard that before, and you think your life never will be. I've been to the edge and back, i've tried to end my life, and quite honestly right now i'm glad I survived. We're teenagers, we move on, we change, our lives change and there is no doubt that will happen. With all these changes it's almost certain some will be for the better. Give life a chance, you've barely got started.
Cutting won't help anything. It leaves scars and a nasty addiction. It doesn't solve your problems, and you can stop. It just takes will power. There are other, better ways to cope.
I still have days where all I want to do is die, or cut. I'm still struggling but i'm fucking fighting it, and I expect all of you too fight it with me.
I love you all and I will miss every single one of you.
I will still be coming here from time to time, i'm just a PM away.
:heart:
The reason i'm posting it here is because the psych ward has been my real home the last 2 years. All the people here have been such a big part of my life and I really do love you all so much. Also I guess I wanted to give you some advice.
I'm sure most of you know my story. I'm a self harmer, i've had an eating disorder, and i've had two hospitalised suicide attempts. The last one of those attempts was just 2 months ago.
That suicide attempt changed me. It made me determined to get better this time. I strongly believe that's all recovery takes. It takes a will, and it takes effort. It takes being selfish.
One thing i've noticed about many people on here is their willingness to help others. It's beautiful, it really is, but I want to remind you all to look after yourselves first. No one is going to do it for you, and no one knows what you need as much as you do. The world is what you make it, and if you make it into a place where you're relied on you're only hurting yourself. Fuck what everyone else wants from you, and what they want you to be, you're your own person and you will be happy in the end.
Being a teenager is shit, especially when you're suffering from mental health issues on top of that, but there is always always something worth living for. Leave everyone hurting you behind. They're not worth your time. Surround yourself with people who make you happy and make the most of every second with them.
Life is beautiful. I'm sure you've all heard that before, and you think your life never will be. I've been to the edge and back, i've tried to end my life, and quite honestly right now i'm glad I survived. We're teenagers, we move on, we change, our lives change and there is no doubt that will happen. With all these changes it's almost certain some will be for the better. Give life a chance, you've barely got started.
Cutting won't help anything. It leaves scars and a nasty addiction. It doesn't solve your problems, and you can stop. It just takes will power. There are other, better ways to cope.
I still have days where all I want to do is die, or cut. I'm still struggling but i'm fucking fighting it, and I expect all of you too fight it with me.
I love you all and I will miss every single one of you.
I will still be coming here from time to time, i'm just a PM away.
:heart: