I dont know what to do

[Jimmy Page]

There is this guy,I really really really really really care about him and love him to death(not love love,I care a lot about him in a brotherly way and would do everything to help him in any way)
The thing is that every time I talk to him he make me even more depressed than I already am
On several occasions I have tried to kill myself as a result of talking to him
I want him to go away,but at the same time I would follow if he left
I want him to die,but I would probably die too if he did
I hate him and love him at the same time
I really dont know what to do,I need help to figure out what to do because everyone I ask either doesn't get it and thinks I'm even crazier than usual or dont know what to tell me
:(

[StoppingTime]

I saw something like this quite recently actually and Z, unsurprisingly, had an amazing answer, which I'll take main ideas from and add to.

You know when you're on a plane, and they are going through the safety instructions, and they get up to the part about the emergency oxygen masks.
"Always secure your own mask first before helping others".
Well, this situation is much like that.

Of course, you want to be there for him, and I'm sure he wants to do the same for you.
But you have to take care of yourself first.
Now, you don't have to never speak with him again, of course, rather, just be a little more cautious about how things are handled.
Be there for him, but on days where you don't think you can handle it, don't risk it.
I don't know about telling him about this though, because then he'd probably feel guilty.

If you are feeling especially depressed one day, or even a little more than normal, I would try not to talk to him as much, or at least about that.

Do whatever you think you can handle, and try to put yourself first, even though it may seem hard.

[Mortal Coil]

I'm just guessing, but it sounds like you have some built-up anger towards him that you don't even realize is there. That was what happened to me with my dad, and I felt almost exactly like you do.
Try to figure out why you would harbor negative emotions towards him; in my case it was because he didn't do shit to protect me from my mom despite the fact that he was perfectly able and obligated to. Once you tap the source, let it out.
And above all, do not do anything to hurt yourself! Talk to someone on here if you need to, call a hotline, but don't try and kill yourself again, please.