lent

[xktx]

ok, it may sound like a stupid idea, but i decided to give up self harm for lent, my thought pattern was that if I could give it up for 40 days, I could give it up for as long as I wanted.... except its now 3 weeks in. It was so easy, I dont really understand why, usually urges crop up all over the place, just randomly Ill look at my arm and just think of blood.... but nothing, absolutely nothing. I dont know, it felt kinda wrong. Ive been sh now for over a year and a half... it just felt weird.
But now, i want it, its not so much an urge, but a nagging feeling, its making me feel weird. I have mild OCD, but suddenly its like I cant focus on anything but how dirty things are, how out of place everything is, im going round the house straightening things that usually Id just ignore.
I dont really know what I expect anyone to do, tell me im not completely insane I guess. I dont really have anyone else to talk to, the people I usually talk to are busy/without their phones. And Im feeling a bit lost, and the only way ive ever known how to find myself is sh, which would probably not be a good idea..... but its the only way ive known for what seems like forever... :S x

[StoppingTime]

It's not weird to want to do that at all, rather, it's a good way to motivate yourself.
And with the urges, those are completely normal. They, as you've probably noticed, get harder to deal with as time goes on, even if things are getting that much worse.
It's normal though, and you need to just focus on other things.
I think it is kind of like, "I used to do this all the time, and it gave me relief. Even though I know I shouldn't it'll be better for me in the end".

Just think, wow, I've come this far, it would be great to keep it going.


We are always here to talk if you need anyone, so never hesitate to contact virtually any member and moderator here.


Edit: Like Georgia said, if you are religious that would help as well. You could use it as a motivation to keep going, and it would be, like she said, one of the few circumstances in which stopping cold turkey is a good idea.

Good Luck!

[georgiamay]

It doesn't sound stupid at all. :hug:

Can I ask, are you particularly religious? If you are, then lent is the perfect time to give something up. Maybe you can use religion as a way to get you through the urges? A lot of people seem to find it just that little bit easier to get through rough times if they keep their faith. Just something to think about I suppose.

Giving self harm up cold turkey is very difficult to do, and in most cases I wouldn't recommend it. But if it's for lent, then I think it's the best circumstances for it, because not only do you have the motivation to not hurt yourself, you also have religion to keep you going too. You're not completely insane, it just sounds like now you're not self harming, you almost don't know what to do with yourself, so you're finding things to do that normally you wouldn't bother with, which would make your OCD a bit more... Noticable, if you like. When I first stopped completely, I ended up washing the same plate for about 30 minutes. I'm not a tidy person, I just needed to focus on something.

It might seem like it's the only way to deal with your problems, but it's really not. There are so many ways of getting your emotions out. Exercise is a pretty good one. It might not give you the same relief as self harm, but it'll calm you down and take your mind off it. No urges last forever, they always fade away. Whenever you feel like you might snap, tell yourself that you won't, because you know what? You won't. You might feel like you'll burst, but you never do, and the urges will pass.

I'm here if you need someone to talk to. :hug3:

[ShootingStar]

You're doing really well, giving up for so long :) I'm sure you can keep it up now!! I'm sure you can find other ways to keep yourself busy..it's perfectly normal to feel like this to start with
ss....x

[Mortal Coil]

3 weeks? That's incredible, and you're about halfway there anyway. I've never gotten that far, but I'm guessing that it's a normal part of giving up and you'll get over it.
Stay strong Katie!