wow. i just cannot stop.

[Jupiter]

i'm constantly making threads here. i'm sorry if it seems like you're just working a lot for me, but i need the help.

dad went back to the hospital tonight. figures. i mean, why else would everything before this go sooo smoothly. something HAD to go wrong. it figures that nothing can EVER GO RIGHT in my crazy fucked up life. of course, who is to blame for this? I AM. I'm such a fucking loser, I ruin everyone's lives. i can't even keep mine together. i just hate myself. i deserve to die.

as if this wasn't bad enough, i just HAD to go through all my tweets on twitter and realize what a loser i was back then. i couldn't even hold onto a girl for a week. and then i was head over heals for a girl who was in love with my best fucking friend. sarah loved nate, nate loved sarah. i loved sarah, and i think i even might have liked nate. but, the loser me, had to go and ruin everything, INCLUDING them. i mean, i thought everything was hell, and then she told me she might have liked me. then i freaked out, and everything went to shit. i ruined my two best friends relationship.

don't get me wrong. i am in a relationship, but i doubt i can keep her satisfied for long.

i loved her so much.

now she is talking to me, we're talking about him. i am completly opening up to her. im telling her about everything thought i ever had. i am such a loser.

god, i hate myself. i can't even make myself like me.

[MJohn]

Self pity is really bad. Focus on hobbies. Find what you love. Don't care about being in a relationship. Don't care what people think of you but still be nice.

[Cognizant]

I know how you feel. Life can hit hard real easily. I know what it feels like for a loved one to be in the hospital- my mom spent 6 years fighting cancer that has a very slim chance of survival. I felt horrible, the same way as you do. But it's not your fault! I can assure you that your father will fight whatever he is fighting.
As far as love, love bites. But sometimes, it's good to be free! As far as with your current girlfriend, don't say that, She loves you!
I am done rambling now, If you want to PM me, feel free! I love to help! :)
~Devin/Patrick

[Skeptical Bear]

I feel you man. I made so many mistakes in my life where I honestly wondered why I didn't die or something bad happen to me. I've had my dad in the hopsital before and it was a bad experience. It wasn't your fault. We're human and it's life unfortunately so don't blame your self. No one is to blame. We were all stupid when were younger. I thought I was cool when around younger kids in elementary. Then I found out that I had my head up way up my ass at that time. You should talk to your best friends because no friendship is perfect. If you need to talk about it you can PM me :) Feel better.

[Borxar]

I'm sorry man and I'm doing the best to teach you that its not your fault. You are not useless and bad things happening are not the result of you being worthless, no not at all. You are special and always will be and nothing changes that. Relationships unfortunately can get complicated and come undone and friends may not always be there and may change, but there is always support and people who care and always the chance to make friends! You're heaps cool! And although its hard, someone once told me not to look at what you've lost but to what you have

[Dimitri]

first off, let's take a huge fucking 360 and turn this shit around

i'm constantly making threads here. i'm sorry if it seems like you're just working a lot for me, but i need the help.

That is what this place is for...believe me, if you were doing something wrong someone would have told you by now.

dad went back to the hospital tonight. figures. i mean, why else would everything before this go sooo smoothly. something HAD to go wrong.

I am so sorry bud, as someone who works in medicine I see this happen, you are not the only person this happens to and the thing it, this happens a lot unfortunately.

it figures that nothing can EVER GO RIGHT in my crazy fucked up life. of course, who is to blame for this? I AM. I'm such a fucking loser, I ruin everyone's lives. i can't even keep mine together. i just hate myself. i deserve to die.

No one ever deserves to die. YOU HAD NO prior knowledge of this, there is NO WAY you could have prevented any of this, hence YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE for this. You have so much potential, use this upset to fuel yourself to make a difference, help others who are going through similar situations, something can always be made out of anything.

as if this wasn't bad enough, i just HAD to go through all my tweets on twitter and realize what a loser i was back then. i couldn't even hold onto a girl for a week. and then i was head over heals for a girl who was in love with my best fucking friend. sarah loved nate, nate loved sarah. i loved sarah, and i think i even might have liked nate. but, the loser me, had to go and ruin everything, INCLUDING them. i mean, i thought everything was hell, and then she told me she might have liked me. then i freaked out, and everything went to shit. i ruined my two best friends relationship.

In my honest opinion, unless you deliberately tried to break them up you have nothing to do with them, if they could not hold it together through some turmoil then they would not have lasted much longer.

don't get me wrong. i am in a relationship, but i doubt i can keep her satisfied for long.

i loved her so much.

Hun, if by satisfied you mean sexually you need to stop. You are young and you do not need anything to possibly complicate your future. If she cannot help support you through this problem then she needs to fuck off, she isn't worth it. She needs to help support you both physically and mentally...

now she is talking to me, we're talking about him. i am completly opening up to her. im telling her about everything thought i ever had. i am such a loser.

god, i hate myself. i can't even make myself like me.

It is good that you can open up to her, she is someone you can talk to and she can help you out. This does not make you a loser, weak or anything that might come to your mind while thinking about this. She is there for you to help you.

Impossible don't exist...

[Jupiter]

thanks, but no matter what you guys say i just do not like myself. and no, rob. i am not sexually active. another reason i am a loser.

[Dimitri]

thanks, but no matter what you guys say i just do not like myself. and no, rob. i am not sexually active. another reason i am a loser.

Bud, just because you are not sexually active does not mean you are a loser...

[Skeptical Bear]

thanks, but no matter what you guys say i just do not like myself. and no, rob. i am not sexually active. another reason i am a loser.'

I've never had girlfriend and never kissed anyone. I had one girl who was interested in me during late elementary and early middle school. I knew she liked me and I was too much of an idiot to even take the chance. Now, no one really pays attention to me so I'm a ghost in school.

[CuriousDestruction]

-hugs- breathe. Now first of all let me tell you, you may not like yourself and there's nothing we can do about that, but a lot of people here on VT really like you. Myself included. Rob is right, you are going through a shitty time right now but you don't deserve to die. If anything you deserve to live. Because you are being so strong and so brave for going through this, even if you don't want to be. You have a beautiful soul and people really love you, don't let anyone tell you different.