Settling for less than I deserve.

[DarkHorses]

I'm female, sixteen years old, and I guess my sexuality is undecided, but right now I'm leaning towards straight. All I can think about is how I want to be with a guy. I never dated anyone until about a year ago, and my first relationship and kiss was with a girl. But I really want to be with a guy. Long story short, here's my problem: I find myself settling for less than I deserve, for the simple fact that I am insecure and desperate for a relationship. I think the whole reason I was with a girl was because of that, because I honestly really want to be with a guy. Recently I decided to 'date' a guy, which lasted about a week, but we never even hung out and he ended up being a real asshole. Other than that, guys just don't like me. I feel like I'll never find anyone so I pretty much find myself dating anyone who likes me. I know that that's wrong and stupid, but that's how it's been for awhile.

Also, I would do anything to keep a relationship. It scares me because I can see myself giving into things that I'm not comfortable with just to please others. I already do that in my friendships. I don't know, I'm totally at a loss of what to do. I was hoping someone could at least relate and give me some advice... :/

[Toon'Cam]

I know how you feel when thinking if you are just settling with someone to avoid the loneliness but if you wait and try then you will always come across someone who will share the same feelings for you as you do for them. I have not been in a relationship for like 4 years now :( and that was with a girl but now I'm actually gay. If you really want to find someone as fast as you can then try just going on a date or two with guys you quite like. Be confident and don't wait for them to ask you and don't let them push you into doing something that you believe is too early, with friends you are allowed to use each others weaknesses against each other ( to some extent :) ) but if its for a relationship then they should respect you and not treat you like that.

[AltoVaughn]

I understand how difficult it can be to cope with being lonely. I think you should look at it in a completely different manner. Don't think about dating someone who's equal, better, or less than you. Just look for someone who makes you happy. The ability to make you happy for whatever reason should be the qualification for starting a relationship. Also you can avoid dating an asshole by spending some time with people as friends before trying to further your relationship. Just remember before you start dating someone think "Do they make me happy?" If they don't there's no reason to continue.

In Addition: Just remember you don't have to settle for someone. You and and everyone else for that matter deserves someone who makes them happy, and hopefully loves them.

Best of Luck.