you know your drunk when.....

[Texas warrior]

Well the other day my little cuz asked my how can you tell when your drunk?
so I need your help to give him 1000 by the end of the month, can you help?

I will start

1. When Megan Fox is not hot but you sister is.
2. When Johnny Cash can't make you cry, but Xmas songs can.
3. When you make out with a ladder.
4. When you are on VT at 4 in the morning.
5. When you walk into the bathroom and flip off your reflection because that bastard is fucking ugly.

Now that's 5 ways you can tell you are drunk, but we still need 995 more, so got any good one's?

[Mortal Coil]

When you hold onto the grass to stop from falling off the earth.
Ok I stole that one...
when your phone can suddenly teleport to the floor (happened to me once!)

[Princess Ariel]

- You scream at a pineapple, to tell Spongebob to come out
- You say ' I'm going to drink myself sober'
These are the ones that come to mind.

[Mortal Coil]

- You scream at a pineapple, to tell Spongebob to come out

Made me really smile for the first time in forever <3

The time-space continuum forms loops, resulting in limited but obvious time travel.
The smudges in your vision equal the smudges (of makeup) on your face

[Princess Ariel]

Made me really smile for the first time in forever <3

Sad thing.. I did that a few weekend's ago. Some random video tapped it.

[Texas warrior]

you all need to number them.

11.when that's not a bug on you car widow, it's a person.

[Sonic Boom]

12. If you lose an argument with an inanimate object

haha, instant idiot-just add alcohol!

[Dimitri]

13. When you send an eMail to your boyfriend telling him you love him and explain how you will never make it to medical school

14. When you give your best guy friend a lap dance and you wake up the next morning wearing nothing but your boxers, in your friends bed with a 20 under your waistband...

15. When you will do anyone and/or anything...

http://data.whicdn.com/images/21502665/321268_2167958525498_1442731288_31763872_913762483_n_large.jpg

[User_Does Not Exist]

16. When you steal your friends dog and take him in your car and make calls through your cars Bluetooth.

17. When you act as a UPS delivery man in your friends apartment.

18. When you cuddle a pineapple on a raft in your friends hot tub.

19. When you think halo is real life gameplay.

20. When you argue with your friend and his girlfriend about who gets to spoon who and who's the larger spoon.

[Texas warrior]

21. When you have a bb gun fight naked.
22. When lady gaga has Musial talent.
23. When you titty fuck a pine tree with poison ive all over it.

[Scarface]

when you walk into the convenience store and ask for your car back

When your boyfriend calls you at 9 o clock to tell you how is day was, and you're trailing off to sleep because you can't even see straight.

You trip walking up the stairs

You cry because you just want someone to talk to you

after leaving a big party, you go to a friends house to play beer pong

One minute you cry because your best friend left you in the third grade and the next minute youre laughing and yelling because you forgot what you were gonna say.

[User_Does Not Exist]

30. When you cook pizza rolls with your friends mom at 3am

31. When you tell your friends mom how beautiful her house is and it's not even her house.

32. When your caught rolling in the grass laughing at fireworks going off.

33. When you pretend your a secret agent and hide behind your friends secret bookshelf.

[Shark98]

34. When you attempt to skinny dip with clothes on
35. When you run outside to tell your neighbor's dog that you broke a chair
36. When You watch Sesame Street and start cursing at Elmo for being naked

[Quercus]

37. When you sit inside the washing machine and pour your heart out to it

38. When you are so touchy to your girlfriend she says "I like you, go away."

39. You Pee outside in the front yard then go naked and walk back inside to your girlfriend and all her friends

40. When your friends start putting apple juice in your beer pong cups

41. The dog gives you funny looks

42. Your breath makes the dog drunk...

43. You make your mom drive you to Walmart just to get bouncy balls.

All are true stories.. except for 42 lol

[Electra Heart]

44. When I don't want to smack Justin Bieber across the face

[Texas warrior]

45. When the walls just wont shut up
46. When you piss on the walls to make them shut up
47. When you give a BJ to a cashew.

[Quercus]

48. You hump trees

[User_Does Not Exist]

49. When you wrestle your mother

50. When you slam your finger in the car door

51. When your friend races someone and you start screaming how badly you beat them

52. When you actually want to watch "The Human Centipede" and "Teeth"

53. When you give your address to a drunk country girl

54. When you talk about how cute your friends cat is

[Professional Russian]

55. When your dumb enough to try to beat the shit out of my dad.(True story,,, he nearly shot me.)
56.You make out with a wall and keep telling it you love it.

[Breakeven]

57- when u look in the pool trying to find nemo :p
58-when u say ur not drunk
59- when u want to dance in mid night wheres no music on

[Roses_Are_Yellow]

60. When you start rambling about how weird it is that you've never really known what your name was. (I did that once when I was really tired)
61.When you fall out of a chair laughing because one hand looks bigger then the other.
62. Santa Clause looks like a sexy underwear model
63. When you're willing to do a lap dance for a horse
64. When jumping from a tree branch to see if you can fly becomes a good idea
65. When you lay down on the floor, pet it, and say "Oh floory, I love you so much. Let's have babies."
66. When the Titanic becomes the most funniest movie you've seen in years
67. When a cross between a Leprechaun and a Panda shows up, and then starts talking to you in a British accent.
68. You run across a beach while holding a twig screaming "FOR NARNIA!" and end up falling face first into the sand.
69. When you get into a fist fight with your self
70. You're pillow starts speaking to you in the middle of the night
71. When you suddenly grow nine extra hands
72. When you and you're imaginary unicorn friends play seven minutes in heaven together
73. When you run around screaming "I'VE GOT MAN BOOBS!!" even though you're a girl..

[BassSwagg]

74. You try and go head up with your best friend
75. You don't drink and drive but only because you're concerned with spilling your drink
76. You watch the TV while its off fa fa
77. You fall down and say "damn these heels" oh wait im not wearing shoes

[Roses_Are_Yellow]

78. When the walls start doing some weird dance
79. When your life turns into "The Hangover" and "The Hangover Part 2"
80. When you decide to steal a cop car, and spray paint it pink.
81. When you decided to got TP some random persons home, but ending up TPing your own house without realizing it
82. When you're willing to take body shots off of your grandma
83. When the people around you grow three heads
84. When you runaway to Vegas with a sports car, and get married to it
85. When inanimate objects suddenly burst into songs from 'Grease'

[Sephtyan]

86. When you spend five minutes trying to unlock your door, only to realize that it's two houses down.
87. When you try to walk the yellow line in the middle of the road outside of a friend's house to prove that you can drive, only to forget what you're doing and start pretending you're a plane on a runway.
88. When you blink and miss the past five minutes.
89. When you email your boss to tell him you quit on account of fuck him, the asshole, only to sit in front of the TV and realize that what you thought was your career was actually just the plot to a movie.
90. When you notice your pants are wet due to the fact that you're holding the bottle upside down.
91. When it takes you three minutes of staring at someone in the bathroom to realize it's a mirror.

[Sephtyan]

92. When it feels like you're climbing stairs just to get across a room.
93. When you try to masturbate to nothing in particular.
94. When you feel the sudden urgent need to attach yourself to the most solid object in your reach without any real reason why.
95. When you start yelling at someone about how they looked at you funny and they shouldn't stereotype blacks just because they're black, even though you're Caucasian.
96. When you need to look at your watch an excess of five times in order to gain any meaning from the tiny numbers.
97. When everybody starts sounding like Stephen Hawking.
98. When you break off the middle two prongs of all of your forks on account of wanting your silverware drawers to be populated by "Batforks".
99. When you wake up in the middle of the night and start punching your alarm clock, trying to reduce the noise in your head.
100. One Tequila, two Tequila, three Tequila, floor!

[Wakesetter03]

97. When everybody starts sounding like Stephen Hawking.


This made me lol.

101. When you devise a plan to leave those passed out under a sprinkler.
102. When you wake up under a sprinkler.
103. When you think you can beat box.
104. When a chugging competition is successful just because some got in your mouth.
105. When eating the tequila worm sounds like a 'fun' challenge.

[Texas warrior]

106. When you play C.O.D. 2 naked because you want to here what you balls are saying to you
107. When you look at gay porn, then realize your strait so you puke in the trash can, then you trash smells like rum for the rest of the night. true story.
108. When you try to fix the computer with a 45.
109. When it's not save to breath on the match because you will breath fire one your hand.

Sorry for not posting for so long its been a..... interesting two weeks and i have not had time for VT.

[Sephtyan]

110. When it feels like you're head is magnetized to the floor.
111. When you start projectile vomiting.
112. When you can't tell whether you're laughing or crying.
113. When projectile vomiting is common enough to begin anticipating it.
114. When you tell your friends that you're going to take a drink in the craziest way possible, then drink normally.
115. When projectile vomiting becomes so common that you start picking targets.

[Texas warrior]

!!^. When you put your numbers in CAPS because they look better that way,
117. When you ask your granny to do shots of Jack.
!!*. When your mixed drinks are 2/3 liuqer instead of mixer.
119. When you ask you girl friend to have a penis size contest, and lose.
120. When fucked fuckers fuck fucking fucked fucks............. I think

[xRainbowxPearlx]

121. When you lose a game of checkers or chess against an inanimated object

[Texas warrior]

123. When you puke on your favorite pillow, but like it because it tastes like rum.

[Bath]

124. When you try and persuade your friend you are a cricket.

True story.

[Sonic Boom]

125. When you go up to the mcdonald's drive- through intercom, make your order and then say "...and uh...do you guys sell pants?"

[Thunduhbuhlt]

126: When you start singing to songs you don't know and pretend you know all of the lyrics.

True story.

[Silicate Wielder]

127. you think the sky is falling because little white rocks are falling from the sky and they are cold.
128. You think you can litterally fly like a bird to the moon and back
129. you fell up an elevator shaft.
130. you tripped over dust.
131. your house seems to be upsidedown.
132. your car can fly
133. aliens abducted you while underground.
134. You witnessed a fly murder a man.
135. your seeing in 1493123739047923Dimesion vision.
136. 2+2= Beer.
137. Chickens drive cars made of air.
138. that meatloaf spoke to you.
139. your fighting mutant pizzas.
140. you are eaten by dirt.
141. you can fly like superman.
142. your seeing in sepiatone.
143. you visited the end of the universe.
144. you drowned your way to space.
145. people don't make sense.
146. you think blood is poisenous
147. your drunk.
148. you know your drunk because you know your drunk.
149. you ate dirt and it tasted like chickens.
150. you can speak to animals
151. you survived falling in lava
152. you passed out.
153. your doctor tells you that you have 1 second to live before worms completely eat your heart.
154. liquid brain leaks from your ears.
155. you became friends with death
156. your not drunk.
157. 1 divided by zero equals beer.
158. you eat rock for dinner.

There is a lot more i can add. my mind is bursting at the seams with ideas. :)

[Fractured Silhouette]

159. When your muttering to yourself about why when someone misses a date, the person had been "stood-up", even though that doesn't make any sense.

[Jimmy Page]

160.when two and a half men is funny

[HumbleBumble]

161. When you chase a random guy because you think he stole the lollipop you didn't have.

162. When you puke wearing a baywatch costume

163. When you don't care the least about what people think of you, thus loosing all kinds of manners.

164. When you walk into a bus, where foods and beverage isn't allowed, and you don't even try to hide the beer in your hand.

165. When you talk seriously loud about stuff that just doesn't make sence

166. When rum tastes good

167. When you play soccer with an empty vodka bottle

168. When you have to take a piss every 10 minutes.

169. When nowadays' pop music sounds nice

All something I've tried (exept the baywatch costume.. That was my friend xD)

[PinkFloyd]

170. When after seeing the movie cars, you walk to your own car and start fucking it

171. when you fall over and start puking, then you know you're drunk. Has that one been said already?

172. when your own piss tastes like Sprite

173. when you think guys are girls and girls are guys

174. When you think your goldfish can speak english

[Harley Quinn]

175: When you tell a random man on the bus that ice cream cones are made from piss
176: When you tell the same man that he has nice hair and you want to touch it.
177: When you want to pee with someone watching/in with you in the toilet.
178: When you fall asleep on the side of the street.
179: When you ask the bar man what gay sex feels like and if it's nice up the arse, and whether he's a giver or a taker (he was gay).
180: You steal everyones drink and they wonder where it went.
181: You end up sleeping on the floor with your clothes half off and your leg on the bed.
182: Touching the light thinking the fly stuck in it is alive and thinking you're the only one that can save it. Then realising you've burnt your hand.
183: Slow dancing with some random person.
184: Thinking you can light your cigarette but can't because it's in your mouth the wrong way.

This is all true, and happened to me on my birthday.

[Texas warrior]

185. When you pass out on the living room cowch with beer bottles duck taped to your hands.

186. When you and your friend make the best smoked ribs ever, but they are slightly under cooked, so when you go back to you friends house, you spend two hours thinking about why something so good could make you feel so bad.

187. When you ADD gets really

[Texas warrior]

188. When you break a light bulb by smacking it with a bamboo stick, true story.

[Harley Quinn]

189: You cried because your best friend refused to sing My Heart Will Go On with you, so you end up singing it to a tree while hugging it. I often wonder why I'm so fucked up.

[Boss...]

190: you think more beer is a good idea.
191: you try and slam dunk a ping pong ball while playing beerpong.
192: go to bed with a 10 at 2, and wake up with 2 at 10.

[Derryck]

193: Your grandparents give you more than 100$ for your B-day.
194: Your parents completely understand your social life.
195: Your friend thats a girl breaks up with her abusive bf and does NOT go back to him.

[Fractured Silhouette]

196. You can't feel your face.

[Snookers]

197. You wave around the flag of your country at 3 am while being on a bridge.
198. You black out in a kiddie park after you went 3 times on a slide.
199. You smoke more than 1 pack of cigarettes, yet you're not a smoker (or you quit)
200. You make yourself look like Conchita Wurst and think it's a good idea to go to school like that.

[Typhlosion]

201. Your national anthem suddenly becomes the most important thing in the world.

[playfull-qt]

202 people are telling you to stop dancing on the table and to put your clothes back on