college counsellors

[smithy94]

Im 17 and have been self harming on and off for a while, used to do it more often but now its about 2-3 week between it. I told my tutor about it and after a couple of discussions i agreed to be referred to a councellor through my college. He told me that my parents would not be notified of this and only he (my main tutor) would know about the issue, i only agreed because he said that.
But i would like some re-assurance has anyone had any experience with counsellors and do they tell parents?? i mean im 17 so im not an "adult" yet but if they did, it would be a major problem for me. And finnally do they help/work? did they help you with your problems? or are they just people on the pay role who dont really care about you? :(

[project_icarus]

Hey
I've been talking to my school counsellor about my self harm, and other problems for a while. I'm definitely not 17, and everything you say to the counsellor is completely confidential. Unless of course it's a duty-of-care thing if you say you're goint to kill yourself etc.

The counsellor isn't going to be worried about self harming, directly, but rather why you're doing it. They do help, you have to try your best to be completely honest, and let them help. The counsellor is there to help you, and you should be able to talk to them about anything.

I doubt that there would be a dedicated counselling service, where they don't care about it or you, when they could've chosen a million other jobs.

Best of luck.

[georgiamay]

At my school, I didn't have a great experience with my school if I'm honest, but that could just be because my school councellor isn't the best. I've heard about other schools being better, so there's a good chance your experience won't be anything like mine.

In the UK, colleges and schools have a duty of care over their students. If I'm honest, I'm quite surprised they're not telling your parents, where I am, they have to. They don't tell them every time you do it, because that would be ridiculous, but they have to make your parents aware of what's going on. I mean, if you went too deep one day and ended up in hospital, and it came out that the college knew about it, they'd be in a lot of trouble.

But on the other hand, I have heard of teachers not telling parents. Maybe now that you're at college instead of school, they're a bit more relaxed about it. If they've said they won't tell your parents, then they won't. They'll tell you if they're going to, they can't tell you they won't and then do the complete opposite. If they think you're a major risk to yourself, then they most definitely will tell your parents. By major risk, I mean if you tell them that you're suicidal.

You never know if it's any good until you give it a try, so just be honest with them. If you're not completely honest with them, then it's not going to work.