screamtobeheard
March 5th, 2012, 08:36 PM
I'm recovering on my own, so as not to tell my parents or friends. I don't need any more rumors at school. I've been doing well on my own, though. The only problem is the weight. God, have I gained. I'm "healthy," and still "thin," but I hate my body with a burning passion. I know I should keep eating normally, and I want to. I think that's the problem. I hate myself for wanting to eat like I am. I feel weak. I feel out of control. I need discipline, and I have none, and that's why I'm fat. I've started keeping track of my calories again. Just so I know. I'm still eating normally. Consumed 1,600 calories today. Which is probably too many, but I burned 3,340 with my metabolism and exercise, so I'm at -1,769 calories for the day, so I'm eating fine. But I don't like it. Is this bad?