Am I normal? Why am I feeling this way?

[cod64]

Hey guys,

So here goes:

A few months ago, I found out my best friend of 4-5 years was backstabbing me, and talking behind my back in an extremely mean way. I found this out when he accidentally left his Facebook logged in on my computer, and a chat with another person came up responding to one of his hurtful sayings before I could log off. I read the entire conversation and confronted him about it. He apologized profusely, but we're no longer best friends but also not enemies. We kinda just put it past us.

Now, I just hang out with my other circle of 2 really good friends (also 4-5 years of friendship) and their new-ish (1-2 years) friends which I have also become good friends with.

Suddenly, I get extremely self-conscious about anything and everything I do. My face gets extremely hot, I start sweating and for days after hanging out with all of them together, I immediately start thinking of situations of what they might be saying to each other about me and about what an awful/horrible person I am (like my friend who back-stabbed me). Every once in a while I "check in" with them making sure they're not mad and that they have nothing to say, ensuring I haven't done anything wrong lately.

Funny thing is, when I'm hanging out with just one or two of them I'm fine. When it's the whole gang, (4-5 of us in total), I get these panic attacks. I eventually get exhausted and end up leaving.

I'm 16 and in 10th grade if that helps at all...

What's wrong with me? Is this normal? Hormones? What should I do?

[botwa]

I think you're just overreacting. You need to remember that your like doesn't depend on these people. Be yourself, if they are your real friends then they will like you as you are.
Don't be the weakest person in the company, I mean don't feel like you are the one, people usually can feel the weakness and if they ARE against you, they will use it.
but personally I think that if they hang out with you, if they ask you to hang out with them then everything is OK.
If you're still extremely worried just calm down and try to talk to them honestly. Tell them what you feel. You're all friends, they can help you!
You can tell something like "so guys. please tell me if I offended you anyway so we could be all clear because I really want to be friends with you so please don't take offence, tell me straight forward if there's something wrong".
You can also try to stay alone for some time until you calm down enough to go on with friendship.
Really, don't waste your nerve cells, you will need them later in your life. People come and go. real friends always stay.
I know it really hurts to loose a friend of 4-5 years, it's hard to open up to new people, at the end it could feel like it's not worth it but you can cope with it. I'm sure.

[SimSailorNick]

I guess it's normal after your best friend did that to you. It's normal that you lost trust in him. If you don't feel comfortable around them then why force yourself to be with them, right?

[Desuetude]

I guess it's normal after your best friend did that to you. It's normal that you lost trust in him. If you don't feel comfortable around them then why force yourself to be with them, right?

Thats basically it. I dont think there is anything wrong with you but when with friends you need to be able to trust them. If you feel paranoid about them talking about you then that isn't going to help your friendship or your own health.
Is it just these friends that you feel like this with? Try to spend time alone for a while so you can sort things out maybe hang around with some different people see if that changes any of what you feel.

[cod64]

Well, they are all really good friends of mine and so they still talk to me so I can't really spend time alone -- theyre a big part of my life. I have at least one in all my classes too.

I don't know. This is just really making me nervous. I talked to them today to see if anything was up and they smiled and said "yeah we all hate you" in a joking manner then proceeded to be friends like normal.

Any other suggestions? Now that I know nothing's wrong how can I just calm down?