My Final Goodbye to Her

[mrwhite1994]

On March 1, 2012, my love life and dreams shattered into a trillion prices. Girl X for privacy, was my love interest. We had grown apart in the past year for some reason, I don't know why she didn't want to be friends anymore so I was going to tell her how much she meant to me and not let our friendship die off completely, and ask if she wanted to start something more. But later that day I ran into her sister and asked where I could find her. She replied "oh she's in the library talking to her boyfriend". I was utterly stunned. I had no idea and I went into shock. I said "thanks" and then I walked away and I couldn't hear anything that was going on around me and had felt like I had been shot and I started to have trouble breathing so I sat down to calm myself down and try not to have a nervous breakdown. Perhaps the worst day of my life.
So I've been a mess for the past 48 hours but I've been thinking and even praying. The reason why I'm so upset is the fact that I never got the opportunity to tell her how much she means to me, regardless of starting a relationship. I thought of sending her a message thanking her for everything she means to me and wishing her well with her relationship (all i want is her happiness) but there are conflicting opinions. I talked to a friend who's great at relationships and he said it would bring closure. Yet another friend said it would be too awkward for us in the future. What do you think? Thanks for any input.

[Desuetude]

wow im sorry that this has happened to you. I think that if she means this much to you then you shouldnt tell her anything just yet. Stay a close friend to her, be there for her when things get difficult, mop her up when/if this boyfriend breaks her heart and she will trust you and feel a sense of comfort with you. You just have to keep with her, dont let her get away because it sounds like you need her.

[Ambrosia]

Oh that is all sillyness. I understand how it must make you feel but, sir, the girl has a boyfriend. Big deal. She isn't marrying the kid, she isn't pregnant with his baby, and she didn't just hold a gun to your head and say she was in a relationship and never wants to see you again. She got a boyfriend. And chances are, they won't last more than a month or so (Like most relationships at your age). Just wait it out, and don't do anything brash.

Do not end your friendship with her just because she has some silly puppy-love relationship with some silly boy in her class. If anything, get close to her again. Take matters into your own hands, put your chin up, and be a man. Talk to her more, but don't make it look like you're trying to take her from her boyfriend (Because you're not). In due time, they'll break up, you'll be a shoulder for her to cry on, and then you can help her mend her heart back together, and eventually you'll know when they right time to tell her your true feelings is.

Good luck! :)

[mrwhite1994]

Oh that is all sillyness. I understand how it must make you feel but, sir, the girl has a boyfriend. Big deal. She isn't marrying the kid, she isn't pregnant with his baby, and she didn't just hold a gun to your head and say she was in a relationship and never wants to see you again. She got a boyfriend. And chances are, they won't last more than a month or so (Like most relationships at your age). Just wait it out, and don't do anything brash.

Do not end your friendship with her just because she has some silly puppy-love relationship with some silly boy in her class. If anything, get close to her again. Take matters into your own hands, put your chin up, and be a man. Talk to her more, but don't make it look like you're trying to take her from her boyfriend (Because you're not). In due time, they'll break up, you'll be a shoulder for her to cry on, and then you can help her mend her heart back together, and eventually you'll know when they right time to tell her your true feelings is.

Good luck! :)

Well, Ambrosia, I'll have you know that i take my relationships VERY VERY seriously and I would like it if you would merely respect that and not call my situation "sillyness". This is the first time I'm going through this and it is very emotionally difficult and turbulent for me. I appreciate the advice but not your snarky attitude.

[Dimitri]

Well, Ambrosia, I'll have you know that i take my relationships VERY VERY seriously and I would like it if you would merely respect that and not call my situation "sillyness". This is the first time I'm going through this and it is very emotionally difficult and turbulent for me. I appreciate the advice but not your snarky attitude.

First off she is correct and lets take this another step, if you are under 18 then you do not really need to worry about this at all.

Dude, shit happens and sometimes you get a shit sandwich and sometimes you just get the shit you just need to learn how to dodge the shit...

[Clawhammer]

As someone who recently went through something like this, don't make it dramatic. Just make it a good clean cut, and if you have to say anything keep it sincere and keep emotions out of it. Trust me, if the drama starts you could end up with huge regrets. Just walk away, laddy, let her go. It's going to hurt, it's going to hurt bad for a good while. Put away the pictures of her, don't listen to folks telling you to act normal and talk to her, only see her when you know you're ready. Start working out, keep busy and work hard. Maybe start a new project or something. Don't go after her new lad looking for a fight or get resentful about things. No dreams of glory. Just walk out quietly and you could prevent a bloodbath that's only going to make people look like fools and get folks hurt. I wish I had done so. Best of luck to you.