What should I do?

[Skeptical Bear]

I've been best friends with this one kid I met maybe over a year ago over Xbox. He's honestly been a very true friend and he's done a lot to prove it. So, he had this idea that I'd visit him over one my school breaks. We haven't met by the way. He lives in Maryland and I'm New York so that's pretty far. He said that his parents were willing to pick me if my parents were fine with it. Since, I knew my parents and older sister, I'd hesitate to ask here and there but then I eventually asked. I felt like my mom had more authority in the house most of the time, so I asked her. She simply said "no." I was obviously disappointed but I still had soem hope with my sister because she's understanding in these situations. She also said no. She thought that I shouldn't go because we didn't know him and my sister didn't like the kind of person he was. Back when I first met my friend, he was racist towards me being hispanic and how I was Bi and he was mean but now that he sees that I'm a true friend as well, he's changed quite a lot and he's been nicer. I didn't possible think of saying all this to my sister because I'd just sound like I'm saying some BS so I can go. My sister thought of him coming over here on one of his breaks but he said no to the idea. He told me that he doesn't like sleeping over anyone elses house because he'd get home sick and he loves his mom a lot. They're very close and I can tell sometimes when I'm on the phone with him. So none of it was personel coming from him. Even though I got pissed for not being able to go, I understand my mom and sister. I still really want to go and meet him so I thought I'd go when I'm 18. I'm 17 now so it's not long. Now, I want to know... Is this a bad idea? Should I just wait for a much later time? Do you guys have any different ideas? I want to know everyone's opinion, regardless it being the truth. Thank you :) And sorry for it being so long.

[Desuetude]

If you're going to be 18 soon then I think your best option is to wait a few months until you can "make your own decisions". Your mum and sister are probably right not letting you go but you are 17 which should be an old enough age to make these decisions by yourself. They are just looking out and caring for you. It's a bit selfish of your friend that you have to go over to him and he isnt willing to compromise. Talk to him about that if you can because if it's always that you have to go over to him then he isn't that great a friend. The fact that he was racist and made fun of you over sexuality is something you may not want to just push aside yet. If he is so judgemental as to make fun of someone before he knows them then he isn't that great a person and he is probably still like that just not to you.it's your decision in the end if you feel he is a great long term friend that you want to get to know better then sure go and meet him but sounds as though he is making you do an awful lot more in this friendship than he is.

[Skeptical Bear]

Thank you for the reply And yeah. When we got to know eachother and I told him everything, he didn't take certain stuff too well. Me being hispsnic was just something he'd use back then if he got mad at me. I can't really say it was racist actually but he'd say messed up stuff sometimes. Since he was straight, he was homophobic as well. Knowing me now, he has opened his eyes a lot on people like me. Now, he was curious when I first met him and he wanted to do stuff with me and after this phase of him being curious faded away after a fww months lets say. He just randomly stopped being into that stuff and found it disgusting. So it confuses me when he doesn't find it comfortable to me talking about stuff that involves "gay" stuff. But, you're right about me doing most of the work as a friend when we first met. He went through a lot of friend ships where they used him, left him and back stabbed him, so he had his reasons for treating me the way he did when we first met, even if some of it may have been harsh. What kept me from cutting him out of my life was honeslty my heart. I had the feeling that he'd be a long term friend and that he'd change. And he did. He's a good friend now and I honestly think it was worth it in my eyes. If any of you went through the BS he gave me at first, you'd might say otherwise. He's never done anything to back stab me and now he's actually been trying his best to make our friendship better. I understand your perspective since he was unfair. I worked hard and I accept him the way he is. All I did was follow my heart.