RIP baby girl.

[Bath]

http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/418520_3218637503728_1200101186_33299471_1965775747_n.jpg

So my German Shepherd named Xena, also practically my baby girl, passed away recently. She was 11 years old and her hips were really getting to her and hurting her, and we couldn't afford treatment and had to put her down. It was unexpected and I wasn't there because when my mom took her to the vet, she didn't even know.

I've never lost a pet before and I've had my baby since I was five. I grew up with her. I felt more comfortable around her than any human. She sensed when I was upset, and after I would self harm I would cuddle up with her in bed. I have high anxiety and grow attachment to things easily, in this case Xena. I love the fuck out of her. And now she's gone.

I don't know why it's hitting me so hard. I guess cause I'm very, VERY emotional but I mean... I've been so fucking depressed recently, being put on new medications and shit and relapsing and going back to the hospital. Sleeping all day and missing school. I don't want to move a limb ever. And now Xena died and it's all worse. I don't have that secure feeling. I miss her like crazy and it hurts so much to know I'm never gonna see her again, she's never going to lick my face again, never going to be my big teddy bear at night.

I've been feeling empty and now that she's gone I feel entirely numb, and when I don't feel numb, I feel like tearing my insides out and banging my head on the wall. It's just made it so much worse for me and I don't know what to do.

[Stronger]

Awwww I am so sorry to hear for your lose, and think it's hitting you hard because she was like you best friend. Would getting a new puppy maybe help the pain, nothing will replace Xena, but it could help. Shes looks soo adorable, I hope things get better, and even though shes no longer there, try and remember all those good times you had with her, if you wanna talk let me know. :hug:

[Cicero]

:( cute dog, sorry about tht I know it can be very sad, especially since you've had her since you wre five. It will get better, just remember the fun memories

[CuriousDestruction]

-hugs- I just lost my dog that I grew up with and know better than any human. Nobody's words helped much. So i'm just going to say i am so sorry and give you more hugs. -HUGS-

[Taylorxbox]

I have a german shepherd too. I would break down too if I lost her. They just know when something's wrong and are always there for you. I can't imagine what your going through. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you feel better soon and everything starts getting better.

[ImCoolBeans]

I'm so sorry to hear about your dog, but remember that she now is relieved of the pain she was going through. When two of my older dogs died I was really broken up about it; Sophie had been the family dog for years before I was born. Having her around was all I knew -- I was about six when she passed away and i was extremely upset. We got another dog about a year later. She died two years ago, so we had her for about eight years, I did a lot of growing up with that dog. Really broke my heart when Maggie died. She was still young, Miniature Schnauzers are supposed to live into their mid to late teens, but she had a massive tumor in her stomach and the cancer from that spread throughout her body. We too couldn't afford the treatment for it, so we had to put her down. I still miss her to tears and I always will.

Feeling like this is really normal and common when someone looses a close pet, especially when you really grew up having that dog around and they may be included in your fond memories. You'll always have the memory of Xena, and remember that she now is relieved of the tremendous pain she was going through.