I guess you could say ive relapsed..

[Leonard Axel]

I've always told myself im different than everyone else. That i do it because i don't feel like any of this is real, but i guess the truth is; it doesnt matter why I do it, in the end, im still inflicting injury to my own body, my vessel through this life. it's kinda wierd when i think about it, when i look back on my journal, and i see I had thoughts of suicide, that I genuinely wanted to end my life. it seems strange now, now that i still cut myself, but done necessarily want to die. It sort of borders on mental instability when i think about it, but this is who I am. I have the marks on my arm of who i was, i dont want to be different.

I guess this sounds mental, the fact i dont have a point of this post, at least not an apparent one. I just felt like i needed to share what i feel, given i'm 20. and i havent seen anyone on this site older than i am. I'm done, caring what people think, im in this life for no one but myself. you can blame it on the bottle of ruby, but i dont care, i like the way the scars look, the way they remind me who i really am. noone can take that from me.

I guess the whole point of this is to say thank you. to every one on this site. reminding me that im not alone, that im not an out cast. im just a normal person, in a world of fucked up people.

Thank you,

Thank you so much, you've all been so supportive.

Yours sincerely,
Leonard Axel.