Is this going to help me burn a lot of body fat?

[Cicero]

So I can't keep to long diet plans, so instead every weekend I'll do a series of things and eat certain things that are healthy and stuff. So I read that taking hdyrotherapy burns or doubles your metabolism and eat a high protein diet helps and of course exercis, I read that black coffee helps and green tea. So for the next few weekends here's what everything I'll be doing.

Wake up:
Drink pure black coffee
Do hydrotherapy (turning shower from cold to hot for 5-8 seconds each setting)
Eat chicken/hamburger meat (75% protein and 25% fruit, maybe like an apple or banana or something

Snack:
Small piece of chicken/hamburger meat
Green tea

Lunch:
Chicken/hamburger meat with veggies (75% protein 25% veggies, salad mix)
1 avocado/banana

Snack:
Banana
Green tea

Night:
Hamburger meat/chicken with veggies (same percentages and salad mix)
Green tea
Avocado
Hydrotherapy
15 minutes of intense cardio

Hopefully that wasn't too confusing but I'll be doing that around those times of days. I can't stick to a strict diet plan so instead I'll be doing this both Saturday and Sunday.

Is this a good plan for burning fat?
How much will I burn from this weekend?
What should I change?
Any tips/advice?

I will be eating moderately healthy all week. Also, when I said hamburger meat, I mean il just have the meat :P no bread. The meat will be treated just like a hamburger but I'll use worceshire sauce and soy sauce with 0 cal seasonings.

[IAMWILL]

Yea, this is ridiculous. Diet is very important, but if you want to burn body fat, I suggest do it the natural way, and run or swim.
Running burns the most calories per hour with over 900 and swimming is a close second. You dont need to make this so difficult. It is much easier to run 2-5 miles every day than to eat healthy.
I run 40-75 miles a week, and I have 3.5% body fat, and I only eat moderately healthy.
In short, turn that 15 minutes intense cardio per day into 20mins->hour of long cardio and you will burn off body fat quickly.

[User_Does Not Exist]

5 meals a day is good, like will said, diet is important.

Swimming is great, try and do 1-3miles a day and you'll be in very good shape.