Life is getting worse

[Lethe]

Life is getting dramatically worse. I've been gaining weight despite my exercising (no, it isn't muscle, it's fat). One of my only friends dropped out of school and now there's basically two people left out of 3100 who actually think I'm worth being around. I have a lymph node in my groin that I may have to have removed, so I'm probably going to have to have surgery soon. It's almost March yet people are continuously harping about Prom and how "excited" and "happy" they are, and how "lucky" they are to have dates and how "fun" it's going to be to find a dress. Ugh.

People continue to look at me and talk to me like I'm an ogre or some kind of two-headed monster. I'm trying to eat way less to lose weight but that isn't working either. I hate where I live; I hate the people (although I'm sure people are the same everywhere); I hate the atmosphere; I hate the weather; I hate everything about it. I can't find happiness no matter what I do. I just can't wait to go to South Dakota for college. Although why hope that people will be nicer to me and why hope that I might find a boyfriend when everyone is the same way? Sigh.

I don't know what to do.

[TeddyBearRock]

Well the gaining of weight could be caused by over eating try to cut down and have less portions, like having less or low fat breakfast, eat brown bread, low fat yogurts and other low fat food. Yes i do hate the people at my school and i cant wait to leave. Dw about the people looking at you coz its not like its going to affect your life, loads of people here are going through what you are and feel the same way. of you want to talk then im happy to help. and prom sucks, im sure someone will ask you

[CuriousDestruction]

Well I can promise you this much up front, college = so much fucking better than high school. i does get better is not just a slogan, but fact.

I am sorry to hear about your friends. They are really necessary to survive high school. But stay in touch with people. Use VT for support. Anything to support you can really help. I know.

And all those people going to prom? they can prepare for disappointment. No matter what they say, prom music always sucks and the dancing is boring after about an hour. I didn't even go to senior prom for that reason. And those dates they have? well half of them are gonna be surprised when their partner wants to have sex afterwards and the other half is gonna be angry when they don't want to. Plenty of break ups happen post-prom because of stuff like that.

I'm not going to lie to you and say life is wonderful and easy, it's not. Right now for you it seems pretty shitty. but you'll get through it. You breathe. You take your time. You think about the future and suddenly you're at college studying frantically for your first midterm and trying to figure out which guy you want to date first. hang in there love.

[Lethe]

I've been dieting and meticulously tracking everything I eat, including calories, sodium, fat, cholesterol, etc. Somehow, however, I just can't seem to lose weight. It's very depressing and disheartening.

Everyone who judges me for how I look has an effect on me. They always remind me of how I'm dumpy, unattractive, masculine (despite the fact I'm female) and just overall unpleasant I am. It's a precursor to the story of my life, I suppose. I wish that even if people think I'm ugly that they wouldn't say so, and that they'd at least treat me neutrally, but they never have and they most likely never will. It's hard to get over having to be around someone who's just so unpleasant they make you want to throw up.

Yes, Prom sucks. But I still want to go. I want to experience what almost every high school girl gets to experiene, but I know, for a fact, that I won't get asked, and I'm not even going to bother asking someone because I know I'll be rejected on the spot. There's no point in going alone, so I'm not going. Yes, that's my choice, but I'd prefer not to go than to go by myself and being laughed at for being dateless.

For CuriousDestruction, I sincerely doubt that in college I'll have choices for who I want to date. I can almost guarantee that if anyone would want to date me, it'd be one person out of the entire campus, if that. It's not like I'm going to have choices to make.