DarkNick
February 27th, 2012, 02:52 PM
I just hate moments like this...
So we were hanging out to one of my friends house talking to someone in omegle.As we were talking the stranger pointed out that I look very straight.
I responded and then one of my friends said oh Nick you should add that guy, he's the first person you meet that finds out that you're straight from the first sight.
I answered by asking her what did she mean. She didn't respond (probably didn't even listen to me since we were in a party mode).
But who was I trying to fool? me or her?
For so many years in school everyone was making fun of me calling me a fag or gay,pussy and all these.... (probably 'cause of how my voice used to be odd and 'cause of a gay friend that I have) (I still hear comments like these every now and then)What the fuck do they know about me to call me like that? Do they know what I've been going through? Like hell they do! All of that confidence that I have gets ruined just by a simple comment...Funny isn't it? I can't cry,can't feel...just skip it and waiting again for something like that to come...I can't stand it,seriously I can't. I feel caged.Also ... WTF was her comment to me? Do I look like a garbage to her? She's the same girl that ruined my b-day (some of you might read the post that I raised here about that story),denied my love for her,says that doesn't trust me and says words that DO FUCKING HURT! and she things that only she remembers her wounds from me...Well I do too and she doesn't give a damn! I just don't get it why treats me like that. There are days that I can feel that we're all cool and friends and days like today that she says something and boom!...
We've been through a lot and it will be unbelievable all that to be a fake friendship.
But the hardest part it's the freakin' bullying. Damn I can't even date because of it...........................(not to meantion walking out in the street without feeling somehow scared and all the other symptoms)
There are people out there that have been through worse...Yes I get that and I really try to help them-wanting to,plus, that doesn't make my situation be oh it's alright it'll be fine since I'm-not-in-the-worse-situation-in-the-world...
And perhaps, yes I'm over analyzing it but it's like a virus that I can't stop thinking of it!
...and then boom the flash back came... I feel so...weak...I just want to break my room and then all thoses heads that say shit like that for me.
and at last punch my friend and ask her why the hell did she say that?
Just venting.If you read all that please respond or at least thank you for reading it! :)
p.s: Thanks a lot Virtual teen for being my secret,internet safehouse. It really makes me feel a lot better.....!
and for the record (I really want to scream that phrase right now)......I'm not straight. I'm bisexual!
So we were hanging out to one of my friends house talking to someone in omegle.As we were talking the stranger pointed out that I look very straight.
I responded and then one of my friends said oh Nick you should add that guy, he's the first person you meet that finds out that you're straight from the first sight.
I answered by asking her what did she mean. She didn't respond (probably didn't even listen to me since we were in a party mode).
But who was I trying to fool? me or her?
For so many years in school everyone was making fun of me calling me a fag or gay,pussy and all these.... (probably 'cause of how my voice used to be odd and 'cause of a gay friend that I have) (I still hear comments like these every now and then)What the fuck do they know about me to call me like that? Do they know what I've been going through? Like hell they do! All of that confidence that I have gets ruined just by a simple comment...Funny isn't it? I can't cry,can't feel...just skip it and waiting again for something like that to come...I can't stand it,seriously I can't. I feel caged.Also ... WTF was her comment to me? Do I look like a garbage to her? She's the same girl that ruined my b-day (some of you might read the post that I raised here about that story),denied my love for her,says that doesn't trust me and says words that DO FUCKING HURT! and she things that only she remembers her wounds from me...Well I do too and she doesn't give a damn! I just don't get it why treats me like that. There are days that I can feel that we're all cool and friends and days like today that she says something and boom!...
We've been through a lot and it will be unbelievable all that to be a fake friendship.
But the hardest part it's the freakin' bullying. Damn I can't even date because of it...........................(not to meantion walking out in the street without feeling somehow scared and all the other symptoms)
There are people out there that have been through worse...Yes I get that and I really try to help them-wanting to,plus, that doesn't make my situation be oh it's alright it'll be fine since I'm-not-in-the-worse-situation-in-the-world...
And perhaps, yes I'm over analyzing it but it's like a virus that I can't stop thinking of it!
...and then boom the flash back came... I feel so...weak...I just want to break my room and then all thoses heads that say shit like that for me.
and at last punch my friend and ask her why the hell did she say that?
Just venting.If you read all that please respond or at least thank you for reading it! :)
p.s: Thanks a lot Virtual teen for being my secret,internet safehouse. It really makes me feel a lot better.....!
and for the record (I really want to scream that phrase right now)......I'm not straight. I'm bisexual!