Have to turn straight!

[XxMichaelxX]

If this is in the wrong section, excuse me.

Long story short:
My life is a mess, I'm feeling like shit. I've broken all my friendships, am hated by my family, have no talents/skills whatsoever, constantly fuck up everything I do/attempt, pretend to be happy, etc etc.
I'm different from everybody else in every way imaginable, and I hate myself for it. I came in terms with it earlier today - the root of my problems is my sexuality. I have absolutely no problems with LGBTA-people and I fully support their rights I cannot stand myself being gay. I know that it sounds irrational and childish but I fully believe that if I change my sexuality, everything will get better. By age 18 (Feb 4 2013) I must be 100% straight, or else I will kill myself. All of my bad thoughts must be eradicated. Any advice and help on how to do this would be great.

And please don't gimme any "love yourself", "you were born this way" and/or "it's impossible to change one's sexuality" replies.

[LuckyLuke]

Why would your sexuality be the root of your problems? Hundreds of thousands of people live their lives openly gay and many/most of them are very happy. It can't be what you like the in the bedroom that's causing your problems, it must be something else.

If you're worried about the image you portray and what others see and think that may be due to your sexual preferences, consider changing your image. Hit the thrift store with around $20 and slowly transition your wardrobe (SLOWLY so others don't attack you for becoming something you're not) to something more "acceptable".

Get a haircut. Consider something traditional. Short, tasteful.

Consider your musical tastes. Perhaps move to something more mainstream and, I hate this term so much, and something more within the heteronormitivity.

By doing this, you're changing who you are and you're probably going to hate this person you created. Why? Because you're slathering makeup on top of your true personality and hoping that it'll change what's underneath. But, seeing as you're not happy, give it a shot if you think it's appropriate. See that you really do like who you are. It's not worth taking your own life.

[Ohthatguy45]

Hey...u dont kill urself because of who u r. Accept it and everythin will b ok. Soo bein gay isnt the root of ur problems. Be gay its who u r...add me if u want my help :)

[Daracon]

You can't just turn straight, it is impossible to change your sexuality, sure you can cover it up but would you really want to live a lie your whole life just to make others happy? Be who you are. TBH I would love to be Gay, but I am Bi, and sometimes Bis are hated by both straight and gay communities lol. And please do not kill yourself over something like this, it is not worth it. I think your family would prefer you alive and gay than dead. And saying you want to be straight by 18 or you will kill yourself, that's like me saying I will travel to a different universe by the time I am 18 or I will kill myself, it's impossible. Good luck to you, hope I helped. :)

[Jdawg91]

You could attempt to straighten up and just closet your feelings.Forcibly trying to change your sexuality can result in mental issues later down the line. If people cannot accept you for that reason,then you shouldn't be around them.

[Stronger]

How exactly is being gay the root? Those around should accept you with open arms, if not then they have problems. Theres no way to hide or change who you are. Yes you could "hide" but that won't make you and happier then you are now, it could make things worse. Killing yourself would just cause your family more issues, I think they want you alive over you being dead. Maybe this isn't what you wanted to hear but its better to just accept you for you then someone fake

[nick2014]

Just b/c ur gay u shouldn't kill yourself...& if u really put ur mind to it you can change ...I'm currently going thro me going from bi curious 2 straight...anyways if ud like to talk to me about anything visitor message me or email

[DarkHorses]

Can you be straight, despite the fact that you were born gay? Yes. Can you be straight, despite the fact that you were born gay, and still be happy? That's debatable. Sure, you can be a closet gay acting straight for the rest of your life, and be miserable. Or, you can be openly gay, and set out to find people who accept you for who you are. The right people in the world are not going to judge you for being gay. They are going to embrace your sexuality as something awesome and interesting about you, or something that has no importance compared to the person that you are.

To be honest I find the whole "I'm going to kill myself if I'm not straight," to be rather juvenile and silly. While I can understand that you are unhappy with your sexuality, is it really worth your life? You say that you are not against gay rights, but you treat yourself as if you don't even have the right to live if you are not straight. To be blunt, you need to start treating yourself and your life with respect, or you will never be truly happy, gay or straight.

I understand that it is difficult to struggle with sexuality, but it is not healthy to change who you are. Sure, you can do it, there's no question about that. But it's not what you should do, and it's not the healthy thing to do. You seem to think that hiding your sexuality will bring you happiness, but imagine a life where you can never be yourself. A very important part of you is hidden and you worry constantly that someone will find out that it's there.

You can mask your sexuality, but you cannot change who you are. Like it or not, that part of you will always be there, even if it is concealed. And at the end of the day, your own acceptance of yourself is what is most important.

[Abigballofdust]

You cannot turn straight unfortunately because there's no such thing as a cure for homosexuality.
You can cover it up, but it'll just make you sadder.
Also, there are people that love you, don't do anything stupid as killing yourself.
Being gay is not the root of your problem. I highly suggest you visit a psychologist and try to get in peace with yourself. Take some time to appreciate what you got, there are million things worth living for.

[ImCoolBeans]

I know that this line isn't one that you really want to hear, but it unfortunately sexuality isn't something which you can pick or change - you are who you are. It's something that confuses most teens as they go through puberty, and towards the tail end of it you start to get a better idea of what your sexuality may actually be. During the early days and middle of puberty your hormones are so busy that there isn't a clear cut way to tell. I know first hand how you feel, and it isn't fun. I've felt alone and distant at times - like I was different than everybody else.

In your situation, your sexuality might not be the root of your issues as you think it is. Your sexuality may be a frustration which you are not exactly sure of. Accepting yourself as bisexual or homosexual is the first step and probably the hardest to do/recognize. But you have to realize that you certainly are not alone, there are so many people like you out there and on this site. Being gay isn't the same as it used to be. It is so much more widely accepted than it was in previous decades - gay marriage is basically being legalized as we speak. Trying to force yourself to be straight may just make you feel worse as time goes on, it's counterproductive and goes against your feelings.

Being gay doesn't mean that your life is over. You'll still be able to do all of the same jobs, you'll be able to love, most likely get married, and even raise children (if you use a surrogate you can even father them). You still have all of the same opportunity and change to succeed and have a happy life as the rest of the world does. Sure it isn't totally accepted and there will always be prejudice people who will discriminate against gays, but that doesn't make you any less of a person. You are not worthless or a failure in any way, despite how you may feel at the moment. I think you just need to find yourself a little bit, with that you may be able to begin acceptance.

As for your friends, I think you just need to find new people who you have common interest with. There are plenty of people out there who are looking for friends and would be more than happy to call you just that.

Please don't turn to suicide because of this. It is not the answer to your problems and will only cut you short of all of the possibilities and opportunities that life may present you down the line. You're still so young and have so much ahead of you, sure it's all unknown and there is not path laid out, but you shouldn't cut it all short and stop before you even get down that road.

If you ever need anything; a friend, someone to talk to, or just someone to listen to what you have to say, please don't hesitate to PM me. Be safe, be well.

[Nellerin]

Unfortunettly you can't change from gay to straight. You can pretend as much as you want, but it will just create too much stress. And STRESS is what will kill you.

Accept being gay and you will be able to move on, and things WILL get better. There is nothing wrong with gay or bi either, and people who say there is, are either ignorant or are gay themselves.

[trooneh]

I know that this line isn't one that you really want to hear, but it unfortunately sexuality isn't something which you can pick or change - you are who you are. It's something that confuses most teens as they go through puberty, and towards the tail end of it you start to get a better idea of what your sexuality may actually be. During the early days and middle of puberty your hormones are so busy that there isn't a clear cut way to tell. I know first hand how you feel, and it isn't fun. I've felt alone and distant at times - like I was different than everybody else.

In your situation, your sexuality might not be the root of your issues as you think it is. Your sexuality may be a frustration which you are not exactly sure of. Accepting yourself as bisexual or homosexual is the first step and probably the hardest to do/recognize. But you have to realize that you certainly are not alone, there are so many people like you out there and on this site. Being gay isn't the same as it used to be. It is so much more widely accepted than it was in previous decades - gay marriage is basically being legalized as we speak. Trying to force yourself to be straight may just make you feel worse as time goes on, it's counterproductive and goes against your feelings.

Being gay doesn't mean that your life is over. You'll still be able to do all of the same jobs, you'll be able to love, most likely get married, and even raise children (if you use a surrogate you can even father them). You still have all of the same opportunity and change to succeed and have a happy life as the rest of the world does. Sure it isn't totally accepted and there will always be prejudice people who will discriminate against gays, but that doesn't make you any less of a person. You are not worthless or a failure in any way, despite how you may feel at the moment. I think you just need to find yourself a little bit, with that you may be able to begin acceptance.

As for your friends, I think you just need to find new people who you have common interest with. There are plenty of people out there who are looking for friends and would be more than happy to call you just that.

Please don't turn to suicide because of this. It is not the answer to your problems and will only cut you short of all of the possibilities and opportunities that life may present you down the line. You're still so young and have so much ahead of you, sure it's all unknown and there is not path laid out, but you shouldn't cut it all short and stop before you even get down that road.

If you ever need anything; a friend, someone to talk to, or just someone to listen to what you have to say, please don't hesitate to PM me. Be safe, be well.

What Mike said is all true. You can always talk to any of us.

I know you don't want to hear this, but there is evidence that sexuality is genetic and biological: it is not something that you can change at will. You can suppress it, become celibate, and deny your sexual urges, but you can't completely turn them off.

One thing to consider is have you ever seen a professional about these thoughts? That might be something to think about.

You say you've broken all your friendships, and I'm wondering, did you do this out of fear of rejection over your sexuality? If so, you should realize that most friends, and all true friends, will remain your friends regardless of your sexuality. You have every right to be yourself, and not let others tell you that being yourself is something to be ashamed of. If you find friends understanding this, you should be able to find true friends that are accepting. You're almost 18, and you'll be going to college relatively soon, where you can be yourself more.

I know you said you have no talents or skills, but that's not at all true. Your profile says that you enjoy drawing: why don't you post some of those drawings on here for some constructive criticism to refine your technique? You are far from talentless. I want you to try something. Write out everything you enjoy doing. Ask yourself how many of those things require at least some skill or talent. I assure you more of them than you realize will.

You do not need to kill yourself over your sexuality. As I said before, you don't need to act on your sexuality. You can live your life single, and even adopt children as a single father. There is no restriction on your ability to do so. You can live a happy, productive life without having relationships, if that is what you choose.

I know you can get through this, and we all are here to support you. You don't have 100 posts, so can't PM me yet, but you can always drop me a VM sometime or use my contact info to contact me if you need any help. It's what I'm here for. :)

[ImCoolBeans]

What Mike said is all true. You can always talk to any of us.

I know you don't want to hear this, but there is evidence that sexuality is genetic and biological: it is not something that you can change at will. You can suppress it, become celibate, and deny your sexual urges, but you can't completely turn them off.

One thing to consider is have you ever seen a professional about these thoughts? That might be something to think about.

You say you've broken all your friendships, and I'm wondering, did you do this out of fear of rejection over your sexuality? If so, you should realize that most friends, and all true friends, will remain your friends regardless of your sexuality. You have every right to be yourself, and not let others tell you that being yourself is something to be ashamed of. If you find friends understanding this, you should be able to find true friends that are accepting. You're almost 18, and you'll be going to college relatively soon, where you can be yourself more.

I know you said you have no talents or skills, but that's not at all true. Your profile says that you enjoy drawing: why don't you post some of those drawings on here for some constructive criticism to refine your technique? You are far from talentless. I want you to try something. Write out everything you enjoy doing. Ask yourself how many of those things require at least some skill or talent. I assure you more of them than you realize will.

You do not need to kill yourself over your sexuality. As I said before, you don't need to act on your sexuality. You can live your life single, and even adopt children as a single father. There is no restriction on your ability to do so. You can live a happy, productive life without having relationships, if that is what you choose.

I know you can get through this, and we all are here to support you. You don't have 100 posts, so can't PM me yet, but you can always drop me a VM sometime or use my contact info to contact me if you need any help. It's what I'm here for. :)

What Sean said is also 100% true.

But I'm just curious, are you sure that this is all about your sexuality? Could this be about the situation with your family, friends and yourself all dumped onto your nonacceptance of your own sexuality? I think you should seek help to clear some of these thoughts that are circulating in your head, and then rethink all of these thoughts about your sexuality.

[Mtc 10]

Do what your happy with!! If u wanna be with guys and stuff do you! Dont let personal issues get in the way of who you are. Because the only person who can truly judge you is yourself

[Biscuithead13]

The people above are all correct. Like they said probably not what you want to hear, but you are who you are, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Trust me, I know first hand what its like to feel like you have to "force" yourself straight. You cant force yourself to like something/someone and you cant force yourself not to like something/someone. I've tried it back when I was confused (which I still am at this point) about what I was. I finally realized I just liked guys too much and that there was just no way I could force myself to be a certain way. I am how I am, and I accept that, although I'm still confused a lot.

[blackpo]

Not trying to rude to any degree but sexuality isn't the root of your problems it is you self esteem. You dislike and hate to picture yourself being gay so you depressed and lost. You claim that you have no talents and believe me everyone does whether is is a normal or the ability to do something divine...I suggest you talk to people on this site...email me at email removed - val .... or see a therapist. Feeling and emotions of depression can not be held for too long and it seems like you hit the top of the ice so do me a favor and talk to some one....It can be a stranger that knows nothing about you that way you have no ties to them and they cant judge you...or a friend that went through feeling some of the same things. JUST TALK TO SOME ONE!!!!!