cant do this anymore.

[HandheldOutlaw]

im losing all hope. cant hold on anymore.
theres no one i can talk to and im sick of feeling so desperate
almost took an od last night so close to doing it
i dint know why i didnt everyone wuold have been so much better off
im sorry for being so selfish and posting for help
i havent been on in a while
so sorry. i dont deserve help.

[Desuetude]

You do deserve help, everyone does.
Don't think that they would have been better off without you, think about the pain it would have caused, the amount of people blaming themselves for your death. Would it be worth it?
If you wnat someone to talk to them VT is always here, people here are understanding and the point is that we want to help. If you want to talk then i am here for you, I don't mind which way you do it but know that you have people that will listen and care.

[HandheldOutlaw]

i don't. i dont think i do.
no one cares im invisible in school. at home im blamed for everything.
better off, yeah. i think so.
sick of cutting sick of starving myself sick of breathing sick of everything i cant do it anymore. healing is too hard and i know it cant happen for me im not strong enough

[TeddyBearRock]

Your not selfish for asking for help, and anyone deserve it. If you want to talk PM or SKYPE me, im happy to help. It wouldnt bother me Im always looking for people to chat to. Im on quite late as well so Im here like 24/7 if im not here then Im on skype.

Look there will always be people who dont like you, and there will ALWAYS be people who like/love you. Everyone says that no one will care if they kill themself, but there are peole who care, your family, school, friends, friends here. Im sure that you can find advice and people who can help you here and on the internet. :)

[Desuetude]

i don't. i dont think i do.
no one cares im invisible in school. at home im blamed for everything.
better off, yeah. i think so.
sick of cutting sick of starving myself sick of breathing sick of everything i cant do it anymore. healing is too hard and i know it cant happen for me im not strong enough

But you can be.
You just need to try, believe in yourself, you can get better.
At home im blamed for everything as well but in a few years just keep remembering that you won't have to go back. You wont have to see them ever again.
Healing might be hard now but afterwards, after you get past those very tough stages it does get better.
Remember that to before something can get better , it gets worse.
People are here to support you and help you through this.

[Stronger]

im losing all hope. cant hold on anymore.
theres no one i can talk to and im sick of feeling so desperate
almost took an od last night so close to doing it
i dint know why i didnt everyone wuold have been so much better off
im sorry for being so selfish and posting for help
i havent been on in a while
so sorry. i dont deserve help.

Don't feel selfish for asking for help. We here to all help one another, so don't feel sorry. You make think you don't deserve help but you do and we are all happy to help you in anyway that we can. Had you OD last night then think of how much pain you wuld have caused your family, just not worth it. If you ever need help, please come talk to us. :)

[HandheldOutlaw]

they would not have been hurt.


i cant do this. i cant do this. i cant do this. i cant do this. i cant do this. i cant do this. i cant do this. i cant do this. i cant do this. :'(

im not going to make it through tonight. i cant.

[Desuetude]

they would not have been hurt.


i cant do this. i cant do this. i cant do this. i cant do this. i cant do this. i cant do this. i cant do this. i cant do this. i cant do this. :'(

im not going to make it through tonight. i cant.

They would, they would hurt. I think you're just trying to make yourself think that they wouldn't care because then it will be easier for you.

You can make it through tonight, believe in yourself, keep yourself busy and doing things, things you enjoy. Read or draw, take photos, write a story. Hide those pills or put them in your mum's bedroom before she sleeps or something. You don't need them.

[TeddyBearRock]

please dont kill yourself you have to atleast try somthing

people here can help http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx

[HandheldOutlaw]

i really cant do this anymore. i cant pretend im strong. i cant make them happy all i do is make them miserable. im 18 next year, in almost exactly a year, in fact. im not going to be able to leave and i have nothing to look forward to. im taking ap classes but feel like im falling miserably behind, im trying so hard just to wake up in the morning and go to school. i feel so desperate all the time and burst into tears at every mistake i make. i feel lost and im tired. i cant sleep anymore. i have horrendous nightmares when i do and its all so scary. my family doesnt understand at all why i dont want to see my father. they say hes changed and even invited him for easter last year because a man deserves to see his family. they think he wont hurt me anymore and he changed. he hasnt at all and i know it but no amount of persuasion helped them to see my side.

[TeddyBearRock]

talk to the people at childline, it helped meand if your 18 in exactlly 1 year isnt it your birthday, sorry if im wrong and HAPPY BITHDAY if it is

[HandheldOutlaw]

im not in the uk.
and almost exactly a year. 11 days ago.

[Desuetude]

im not in the uk.
and almost exactly a year. 11 days ago.

Ok but there must be other help sites for the area you live in. Search around vt I think I've seen a thread with them in.
There has to be something worth living for? One tiny thing, something about your day, one person, an activity. But there is a reason you're here and people would miss you if you were gone, don't think that they wouldnt just because it's the easy option.
Have you seen a counsellor or a therapist or something? Telling someone about everything can really make a difference.
Oh and they can't make you see your father, youre old enough to make your own decisions about family. I know you're not legally an adult yet but they cant drag you to see him. Don't let them if you think he hasn't changed

[TeddyBearRock]

so it your b-day in 11 days

[HandheldOutlaw]

i used to see a therapist. and then my family made me stop going when i was referred to a psychiatrist and put on medication. im no longer seeing anyone and its not an option to. i cant call a line, im not allowed to use the house phone wihtout permission and they check my call history on my cell.

[TeddyBearRock]

then you need to find something on the internet, that can help or talk to me or nikki (MyOblivion) im sure we can help you

[Desuetude]

i used to see a therapist. and then my family made me stop going when i was referred to a psychiatrist and put on medication. im no longer seeing anyone and its not an option to. i cant call a line, im not allowed to use the house phone wihtout permission and they check my call history on my cell.

You can find a one on one chat on your laptop. It's free and annonymos, you can talk about anything you want.

[TeddyBearRock]

if you really need help ask your mum if you can see a shrink again. I'm sure she will understand or help you

[Stronger]

i used to see a therapist. and then my family made me stop going when i was referred to a psychiatrist and put on medication. im no longer seeing anyone and its not an option to. i cant call a line, im not allowed to use the house phone wihtout permission and they check my call history on my cell.

Wow, I can't believe they are treating you like this, maybe go to a friends houe and use their cell phone?