I need help! I don't know what i am!

[liberty1]

Okay, I really need help, I have no idea what sexuality I am. I'm just going to start from the begginning. I am 13 and male.

I grew up with all girls. So my whole childhood I played with girls, and bascially I feel more comfortable with girls than guys. I am also sort of a "momma's boy". I don't play sports, nor do I have interest in football/soccer/anything.

So in Kindergarden I liked a girl, in first grade, another girl, and then in second grade another girl. I liked this third girl until the 7th grade, and then in 7th I met this girl. She'd always flirt with me, and I fell for her really hard, and really liked her. At around this time puberty was kicking in, I was learning a lot about everything, it was that year, if you kind of know what I mean.

So anyway, I started watching porn, I don't know if this is allowed so Il'l just write it with little detail. When I started, all I watched was gay because it interested me. It was weird. I then started watching straight, same experiences, I don't prefer one over the other.

8th grade comes and I'm over this girl. I'm interested in guys now, and kind of girls as well. I think its weird that when I see a guy I think he's cute, its strange. I don't like anyone right now, because I'm so confused because all my life I've liked girls, and now I'm sexually thinking about guys- a lot.

I don't really know how to go about all this. But I have a few questions.

I'll just say some more details:
Sexually: I prefer men of women, I think?
Emotionally: I prefer women over men.
I don't want to be gay and I don't see myself being gay, I like girls emotionally so why am I so sexually attracted to men and not women?
Am I gay/straight/bi?
Is this just a "phase"?
What do you think?

Thanks so much.

[KidImage]

Basically can you see yourself married to a man or at least having a life with him? If not your probably bi curious.

[liberty1]

This is all opinion, I do not mean to offend anyone, I'm not against gays.

No, I can't see myself with a man. I don't want to be with a man. I think it's wrong to be with a man, for me anyways, I think me questioning my sexuality has made me a homophobe :|, but I don't want to be, I have 2 gay members of my extended family.

But in simple form- I do not want a life with a man. IF I found out I were gay- I'd want to live forever alone, and I'd not tell anyone.

[ImCoolBeans]

I wrote this post (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=125182) and I really hope it can help you figure a few things out.

It seems to me that you might be bisexual, but you're the only one who can truly decide and who can truly apply the label.

[liberty1]

I know, everyone says "only you can know", but how do I know? I have given all the details, what "catagory" do I fall into?

I liked (emotionally) girls up until 7th grade, I never liked guys (emotionally) ever. I'm not saying I don't like girls emotionally now, but right now I don't like anyone.

Is it possible I was straight but now I'm gay? Can a guy guy like girls all throughout his childhood?

[Bubbawhack]

The way that I see it is that there is ambiguity of definition of sexuality, even though there may be a set idea that If you are homosexual you like one of the same sex, and if you are bisexual you like ones of both sexes, there is no defined way to show that you like some aspects of one sexual orientation and other aspects of another sexual orientation. So overall, I would Like to show that even though you may be confused about what you think is right, what you think that you are, what you think is weird, what you think you should be, and on and on, everyone is special in there own way. One's own interest may be different then all others, or if it is exactly the same as all others, or if it is same as some and different then others, it doesn't matter, and you should do what you feel, what you think is right.

Hope that helped :)
Good luck, and remember if it makes sense to you, and it feels right, go with it!

[Stronger]

I am alot like you, I was a "mamma's boy" and mostly hung with girls but anyway you could be bi, but more toward like girls. You could be curious which is why you are sexually attracted to both. You say you are emotionally attracted to girls and not boys so you are gay, more or less like I said bi. Follow what ImCoolBeans posted, that should help greatly.

[liberty1]

Why am I sexually attracted to both though, and only emotionally to females?

[ImCoolBeans]

Why am I sexually attracted to both though, and only emotionally to females?

That's just the way it is for you. You can't really give reason to why somebody feels emotion towards a sex or gender and not the other. As I said before, it sounds like you may be bisexual.

[beenthere]

I think your pretty normal, sounds like you are bi curious, Its normal for boys to be attracted to other boys in puberty. Its a bad deal to get into hating what you are feeling, you really need to accept it, It is not going to hurt you and not really too much you can do to change it, so just accept it. That does not mean you have to take a label or that you need to come out, but just accept your attraction to guys and don't worry about it. You are young, and maybe girls will play a bigger part in you life again later, but don't let what you are feeling scare you. As soon as you accept it, then it won't seem like such a big deal. I understand what you are saying about becoming a homophobe, I've seen so many guys take the route, and I really feel bad for them. It is a real self torcher for guys like that, and it stays with them usually for life and they lose a lot of great friends because they are always worried about their image. you really have to take the attitude that it does not matter what people think, it only matters what they know. My last advise is don't give up any friends for image man, step up and be a better friend. Hang in there man, you'll be aright, you are far from alone.

[madea rocks]

Listen to me. I was raised the same way and went throughthe exact same thing you are going through even though im only two yrs older i found i was straight. My personnal belief is that i kind of liked boys because of all the feminine influence. You and only you decide what you are. Everybody has a life and what you do with that life is up to you.best of luck.