Buranri
February 21st, 2012, 10:21 PM
I don't know what the fuck it is, but every time I try to do homework (barring the really easy stuff) my mind just shuts down. I can't think, I can't try to work through the problems, and all I feel like doing is smashing stuff. The only thing that helps is to go play drums for a minute or two. But then I come back and try to keep working, and the same stuff happens. I feel like my grades suffer sometimes because I just can't get through that rage at not knowing how to work... Shit, even just typing this post out I felt the urge to hit something. I have no fucking idea why it is, but... SHIT. I can't even describe it. And now this post is turning into one of those endless rants, so sorry about that.
It's just... it drives me insane. I know my family is getting tired of it, because inevitably they're the ones I end up complaining to when my mind is being fucked with. But it's the same shitty cycle. I finally stop procrastinating, sit down and pull out my homework. I do one or two problems, then run into a few I have issues with. The longer I sit there and stare at it the more my brain just shuts down, and the tiniest things start driving me fucking insane. I go a little bit crazy stomping around and cleaning my room, because even feeling like there's shit laying on the floor behind me drives me insane. That still doesn't help, so I play a really loud section of music on my drums a few times. That helps a bit, so I feel a little calmer and sit back down. Look at the problem, and the same stuff repeats within a minute or two. What the fuck is wrong with me? I mean obviously I suck ass at time management, that's painfully obvious. But I'm just so fucking sick at getting this mad at tiny little things.
It's just... it drives me insane. I know my family is getting tired of it, because inevitably they're the ones I end up complaining to when my mind is being fucked with. But it's the same shitty cycle. I finally stop procrastinating, sit down and pull out my homework. I do one or two problems, then run into a few I have issues with. The longer I sit there and stare at it the more my brain just shuts down, and the tiniest things start driving me fucking insane. I go a little bit crazy stomping around and cleaning my room, because even feeling like there's shit laying on the floor behind me drives me insane. That still doesn't help, so I play a really loud section of music on my drums a few times. That helps a bit, so I feel a little calmer and sit back down. Look at the problem, and the same stuff repeats within a minute or two. What the fuck is wrong with me? I mean obviously I suck ass at time management, that's painfully obvious. But I'm just so fucking sick at getting this mad at tiny little things.