Ugly messy house always been afraid to have friends over

[canadaski]

My house is really old and messy. My mom is afraid to throw anything out, I told her to throw out lego or give it away to kids that could enjoy it and she made the excuse that she wants her grandchildren to have it (I'll buy my own children lego. I laughed and got angry suggesting to her that she plans to keep 40 lbs of lego in the hallway for 20 years.

The garage has a pile of shit 4 feet high and you can't even walk through it. There are old papers overflowing in baskets all over the basement since it was finished 5 or 6 years ago. Tax papers have been sitting on the dining room table for a month. Old envelopes and papers/flyers are always sitting on the piano bench and there is an old harp that is cracked and hasn't been played in years. I wanted to throw my broken hutch out from the used desk my parents bought me in the summer and she flipped out.

The unfinished part of the basement is nearly impossible to navigate as stuff is piled all over the place along with an old chuck norris total gym that she never used once.

Does she have compulsive behavior? What can I do about it? She won't listen to me. Can I get help, it's not at all as bad as the show hoarders or anything but I never really had friends over at my house because of the embarassing state.

My dad has done some stuff to fix up the house but has never finished it. Because of this, the stairs are bare wood with paint blotches all over them and the squeak like crazy. The trim along the walls and under and around windows are absent. The stairway isn't painted and has blotches of plaster filler all over the walls. There are two doors sitting beside the dining room table for 6 years that haven't been put up yet.

I just had a huge argument but got fed up with my parents denial and started walking around the house with a camera. I'm trying to help them out.

I just want to feel comfortable having someone over at my house. I want to have fun with friends in my house for once in my life without being utterly embarassed.

Would it be out of line to post pictures? Would they serve any purpose?

[AUS01]

Hey Liam,
I think it would be okay to put up one or two photos to see the state its in, but not enough that anything can be symbolically recognised within the house.
And I know how you feel, I get annoyed at my Mum for having too many clothes!! But Yes, It is eventually going to damage your Mums mental health and for all we know it could end up like in the show! I hope it doesnt, and that you can get through to her and sort it out. Have you talked to any of your close friends about the situation??

[canadaski]

Here are a few examples:

Mess at the top of the stairs for years.
http://img26.imageshack.us/img26/3421/img0810gm.th.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/26/img0810gm.jpg/)

Useless old shit in the basement. The box in the corner is a deck chair that she bought two of because they were on sale.
http://img687.imageshack.us/img687/8584/img0839th.th.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/687/img0839th.jpg/)

Dining room table has had this shit on it for over a month.
http://img818.imageshack.us/img818/8650/img0813lq.th.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/818/img0813lq.jpg/)

[Yehudis13]

From what you wrote I anticipated for the pictures to be much worse, but it isn't half as bad as some of the hoarders out there. My grandfather is a hoarder, and my grandmother has been trying to help him for years, but he has a social disorder, and a hoarding problem. My uncle left the house at a young age with my mother from abuse, and my mother has learned to forgive him, but he stores all of my uncles stuff in the house, and he won't throw anything out, saying he needs it for some project or another. I would consider yourself lucky that you don't have a hoarder mother.

[canadaski]

From what you wrote I anticipated for the pictures to be much worse, but it isn't half as bad as some of the hoarders out there. My grandfather is a hoarder, and my grandmother has been trying to help him for years, but he has a social disorder, and a hoarding problem. My uncle left the house at a young age with my mother from abuse, and my mother has learned to forgive him, but he stores all of my uncles stuff in the house, and he won't throw anything out, saying he needs it for some project or another. I would consider yourself lucky that you don't have a hoarder mother.

I know it's not that bad, but it's a dump compared to everybody else's house that I know. It's extremely embarassing and there is always a lingering mold smell that I have to excuse every time someone steps foot in the house. If there weren't so many pile of useless shit all over the place and the walls weren't torn apart never to be touched again, and the house didn't smell like a moldy sandwich, I wouldn't be unhappy with it. She just refuses to throw the shit out. Before, she would just move stuff into the garage but now there is no more space in the garage so it all clutters the shit out of the house.

How can I convince her to throw something the fuck out or give it to someone that can use it?

[Yehudis13]

I like watching the show HOARDERS just because I like that kind of stuff. Gross I know. And from most of the episodes I have watched, the hoarders never throw anything away. They say they want to do it, but they back up and they don't follow through. Most of them went through a tough period in their lifetime, and if your mother isn't doing better, I suggest mentioning it to someone, because it can be mentally damaging to live in the kind of surrounding you're describing.

[nicnicolas1]

then just go over their house

[Yehudis13]

then just go over their house

But if his mother is a hoarder, than he is living with more than friend issues, it can cause mental illnesses, and phyciatrical issues