im going.....

[Φρανκομβριτ]

Im going somewhere. Everything is going downhill. I dont no why, It has never been this bad before. It is starting to scare me. I don't want to post threads like this, because I don't want my school knowing, but I am scared, so I just have to keep it edited. I am slipping in school, my firends are....well, not there anymore. I am spiraling down, and I cannot get back up> I am scared, and do not know what to do. People tell me to wirte poetry, but I have no talent. I am not able to do this. I cannot express myself, and now there is no point, because I believe I am phasing into a stage where I will be a loner, maybe goth.

[<-Dying_to_Live->]

hi gatwick

you know your life is going bad, you know things are shitty, and you NEED to do something about it. you have to rudi or you will end up with a shitty life for as long as you live. you need to talk to someone, find someone, someTHING that you can do that will take the pain away. slice n dice your entire arm if you have to, just find SOMETHING to drive you, dind SOMETHING to motivate you, and find SOMETHING to live for. you are the only person in the universe who can make a difference in your life, because its YOUR LIFE. you need to reach out, grow some branches, and connect with the world around you. the only things human beings need in life to survive are food, water, warmth, and friends. you need to make friends rudi, but then again, you DONT need to make friends. you know why? because you HAVE friends. everyone on this god forsaken website is your FRIEND. you have to know that. cody is your friend rudi, james is your friend rudi, and as much as you dont care and dont believe it, i am your friend too

what you need to do is what cody said earliar. you need to talk to someone about your problems. you need to express yourself. you need to find something and someway to get your feelings into the outside world. you are going to have to make connections with other human beings, and socialize your problems to them so they can help you. i know your afraid, i know you wont go to your counselor because your afraid and have this image in your head that they are going to eat you. but in anycase, if not them, someone else. you have to stand up, gather the courage, and go take your problems somewhere and spill your heart out to someone. the way i hear you talk to you mom on teamspeak, i can tell you love her. i know you love her, thats one person. thats someone who cares, along with everyone else on this site. you need to branch out to those people, and allow them to do their job. yes thats right, its everyones JOB on this website to help you, thats why theyre here. the only and sole purpose of VT is for people to GET HELP AND BE HELPED. you need to let the world do its job and help you rudi and make your life a better one. now im not much of a motivational speaker, and im definantely not a cunning linguist. but what i am is a person, and i do have feelings. please rudi, you have to do something to improve your life, you need to take the initiate to fuck the world and make yourself happier.

you have to, because i cant stand to see you upset. noone can. noone likes it when anyone posts about how depressed or in despair someone is, beacuse its not fair. noone deserves to have to EVER experience sadness, ever. theres no reason for it, and its not fair. everyone here knows this, the world knows this. you need to let your sadness float away, and the only way that will ever happen is if you open up to the only people who can help you.

there are many people on this earth who love you, who care about you, and who feel for you. everyone on that site is that person. your mom is that person. i am that person. cody is that person. james is that person. the fucking principal is that person. your counselor is that person. your sister is that person. your computer is that person. VT is that person.

you need to open up to these 'people' who love you and accept you for who you are, and you need to love them back with all your heart and lean on their shoulders so they can help you carry the burden of life


may you please take the time to read this,
~cosmosauce
_____
I care for you rudi, and im not going to sit here and watch you go down in flames :cry:

[Φρανκομβριτ]

Thanks guys. I still feel the same way, but I went to my school counseler today. I'll probably have a few sessions with her before school ends. To take my mind of this, I've staretd playing tennis again. I need to get better. I don't want to let myself slip, though its hard when my life is covered in grease. I apreciate both of your guys's advice, and everyone on this site. You've all done so much for me.im going to try and put my life togeather.

[<-Dying_to_Live->]

rudi im so proud of you for being brave and making the decision to change for the better. good luck!!!!

[Φρανκομβριτ]

thanks Matt!

[<-Dying_to_Live->]

teh virgin atlantic airways sauce
the British Airways sauce

hehe nice sig, spoken like a true leetsauce ;)

oh ya, dont thank me :oops:

[-Silence]

Hey Rudi, sorry I haven't replied earlier.

I still feel the same way, but I went to my school counseler today. I'll probably have a few sessions with her before school ends. Do you plan on actually telling her what's wrong? I hope you do--for your sake, it can help. You're not alone, okay? I'm always here, if you like.

Hang in there.

[///James///]

jesus, i havent seen this! omg

rudi, u told me you were going to the councellor, and i told you tell everything, nothing you say leaves the room!

dude, ur talented, your similes are great!
my life is covered in grease, jesus mine would end up like my life sucks! keep going on with these similes, and it is something!! they're great

like i said, do something! tennis is a great start, me and you can go down to wimbeldon when we are living in out apartment! even get a game for the computer, i recommend the sims2, you would play for HOURS!!! i spent a whole day playing it, and then 4 hours of the next one!

i've never done this, but like write out how you feel when you are down, and put it together, and each sunday or whenever, get rid of them all, burn then, shred then, throw then in the bin (just dont put your name on then, nosey bin-men!)

and ANYtime you are down, just txt me! i may not be able to text back, but i will be thinking of you and hoping to get through to you!! and if im at home, and alone i'll call you. ok

everything will get better, dont worry.

remember the day ur 16, is the day after tomarrow's tomarrow, keep thinking that. a day is nothing.

xx

[Φρανκομβριτ]

Thanks guys. Im starting to get my life back on track. Heather, I can''t tell everything. It's the school counseler, so if I tell about cutting, they tell my parents. Thanks James, I'll remember that. You guys are great