School, School, School..

[Carlyle]

I feel like I'm over thinking so much lately, especially school.

Right now, its not an issue. I do just fine, have no problems.. But then, recently we've done scheduling for freshman classes and started talking about it more and its just stressing me out. People already know what they want to do and I have no idea where I even want to go after high school. People I know already have it all figured out, and then I realized something. I have never done extra curricular activities, and all of my teachers are saying that they look good when applying for colleges..

I can't even stand most of the people that do them, or even the people who run them. Then I realize, I've never even bothered to try. No matter what, I'm always so damn shy and too chicken to try anything. Sports? Too afraid to get made fun of. Band/Choir? I'm not musically talented or gifted. Maybe I worry too much. Who knows. But hearing that it looks good for you later and helps with scholarships is depressing the shit out of me. I know that whatever I decide to do, I want to be good at it and I want to be successful later in life.. Sometimes, I feel like I don't even know who I am.

The sad part to me, is I never act bold and do something on a whim. I think about it too much and worry, and then I never do it. I'm too timid. I try not to show it at times, but its still there. I just wish I wasn't so picky. I wish I wouldn't think so much about petty things that could be much simpler.

Kinda long rant, ignore it if you want. I just needed to let it out somewhere before I lost it.

[Desuetude]

Austin im having the sane trouble. Yes lots of kids know exactly what their whole life is going to entail but yeah im there still looking at what GCSE's I want to take. With freshman classes all I can do is urge you to take the subjects that you enjoy because you are the one that has to sit through the classes everyday. Listen to what parents and teachers have to say but don't feel pressured to take something even if you have it. We are looking on a website called u-explore and it has just about every job in the world on it, I don't know if it's a UK thing but maybe try and access something like that so you can look through your options. But honestly it's fine that you dont know what you want to be.

I'd say don't start focusing on an extracurricular activity now. If you really want look into one that you like the sound of but it seems that you dont. Just focus on your study's so you can do well in exams. It's not all about hobbies and you need good grades to get into college and uni.

This is a subject where acting on a whim is a very very stupid thing to do. It's great that you're picky, it means that whatever you do choose will be right for you and not some crap subjects that you liked because of the teacher. It's ok to be timid everyone's different and remember its the shy ones people have to look out for!

[Invincible]

Y'know Austin, my first two years of school, I did absolute jack. I had no idea what I was gonna do too.

Don't worry about the future as of now. Just do everything to your best. I bet you not half of people your age at your school right now will ever end up doing what they say they wanna do.

If you can't stand them, ignore them. Don't challenge or confront them.

You need to step out of your comfort zone a little. Don't hide yourself or you'll never know your talents at all.

Of course doing co-curriculars are great, but I didn't get actively involved until my second to last year of high school. I was in four, leading three of them while helping coordinate another. You know what looks even better on mine? The fact I took the initiative to start them based on my interests. I didn't conform to everyone, yet I led the largest club within the school after just three months.

Don't be fussed about your direction in the future yet. You're just starting high school man. I wanted to go into the science/engineering sector before high school, and that completely changed when I started my high school subjects. My life had such a huge change and turnaround, you could probably call it a mid-highschool-crisis lol.

Rant it out man, that's what we're here for. While you're at it, take some time to recollect your thoughts and chuck your old ones out.

[Carlyle]

Thanks you two, it helps. Its just depressing when these people I grew up with have known since day 1 practically what to do, and I don't even have any ideas yet. My comfort zone, its just how I always was. I was never encouraged like some people were, so I guess I had no initiative to do it myself and not care what others thought.

Its just bugging me when I think about it all in the long run. Its like my mind doesn't have an off switch though to make me stop thinking, it does what it pleases and I just have to try not to let it rattle me much. Its actually nice at times, but this kind of thing just makes me want to rip my brain out and stab it until I can't move anymore.

[Invincible]

You know... high school will change many things. You'll be finding more people completely lost in 3-4 years time than you'd ever have imagined. Who knows, by then your brain might think up a master plan :P

[Carlyle]

Okay, I should try explaining my issue. High school is, has been, and always will be a big and important time in a persons life, I've realized that since I noticed its coming up rather quickly. I want to figure myself out. Sure, I know me best, but there's still a lot at times that even I'm unsure of about myself. Part of that is I need to know within a couple years what I want to do with my life.

Then, I think, do these extra activities really open up more doors for scholarships, colleges, and universities? Maybe it can wait a couple years, but its still something I should ponder for some time.

[Desuetude]

Yes it's going to be a big part of your life but part of the high school experience is finding yourself. Finding out who you are,what things you like/don't like, your friends. High school is the time for finding out what you want to do with your future. You don't need to go into it with a plan and instruction booklet and make everything go exactly according to plan. It's a time for making mistakes and learning so really Austin, I wouldnt worry.

[Carlyle]

Thanks Nikki. The fact that you will make mistakes is easy for me to understand, but I always try too hard not to. My mind can't stand the concept of screwing up.

[Desuetude]

But if you don't make mistakes how will you learn from them? You wouldn't know right from wrong. I know it's hard but everyone does so you should try not to beat yourself up about it, there is nothing wring with bring wrong from time to time, some may say it's good for you.
And I'll always be here to help when I can if you need it.

[Bubbawhack]

That is the Idea. Do what you want to do and what feels Right BECAUSE THAT MAKES YOU WHO YOU ARE! Freshman year is really fun (in my opinion). Don't worry about colleges until Junior year. (Im almost at the end of sophomore and starting to look into it), and yes it is good to try different things, extra-curricular (even if it is uncomfortable) because it is good to feel and try a variety of things. Plus you get to meet more people.
Good luck Freshie!
Cheers -Chris