Heatbomb21
February 15th, 2012, 05:26 PM
Love has succeeded in starting my descent into insanity.
It's clear that what posted before isn't interesting enough...so I'll take a different approach. As simply as possible.
I recently realized I love this girl and I want to strengthen our friendship. (if we have any) Sadly, when I first came to the school I met her in, I acted like an idiot and made a terrible first impression. We really don't talk much, especially after the start, but from what I saw from the sidelines and from others experiences, she is near-perfect. (I won't ramble. The point here is that I am certain that I love her)
Now, before I do anything, even start a conversation, I always want to apologize for the things I've said or done in the past. Some were unintentionally directed towards her, and sometimes it was just me being a fool. I feel so guilty whenever I pass her. I know she doesn't hate me and she doesn't hold grudges, but seeing her beautiful face every day is a kick to the gut, and the prolonged aftertaste.
I've been thinking every night for te past few weeks about how to apologize, without one of my glorious screw-ups. But to no avail. I'm literally crying and physically in pain whenever I think about this. I'm seriously losing my mind. It's affecting my schoolwork dangerously (I think) and I screwed up my ability to speak with anyone else on the subject.
Please don't give me any "Drop her." or "Just stop."'s. It's impossible. You try loving a person with such a beautiful voice, personality and face and cuttng yourself off. I'd lose my own life if it meant saving hers. That's not my insanity either.
Any help or response as soon as possible would be greatly appreciated. I'm not sure how much longer I'll last.
It's clear that what posted before isn't interesting enough...so I'll take a different approach. As simply as possible.
I recently realized I love this girl and I want to strengthen our friendship. (if we have any) Sadly, when I first came to the school I met her in, I acted like an idiot and made a terrible first impression. We really don't talk much, especially after the start, but from what I saw from the sidelines and from others experiences, she is near-perfect. (I won't ramble. The point here is that I am certain that I love her)
Now, before I do anything, even start a conversation, I always want to apologize for the things I've said or done in the past. Some were unintentionally directed towards her, and sometimes it was just me being a fool. I feel so guilty whenever I pass her. I know she doesn't hate me and she doesn't hold grudges, but seeing her beautiful face every day is a kick to the gut, and the prolonged aftertaste.
I've been thinking every night for te past few weeks about how to apologize, without one of my glorious screw-ups. But to no avail. I'm literally crying and physically in pain whenever I think about this. I'm seriously losing my mind. It's affecting my schoolwork dangerously (I think) and I screwed up my ability to speak with anyone else on the subject.
Please don't give me any "Drop her." or "Just stop."'s. It's impossible. You try loving a person with such a beautiful voice, personality and face and cuttng yourself off. I'd lose my own life if it meant saving hers. That's not my insanity either.
Any help or response as soon as possible would be greatly appreciated. I'm not sure how much longer I'll last.