Can you drop family?

[Dimentio]

Well my dad used to abuse us and made my mum so sad but she only kept with him for us kids and now moving to present time after some, Issues at best, I feel like i owe her that time back!
So my dad besides being abusive and depressive he makes stuff up about my mum and makes her seem like an old hag and for him to be an angle and wants people to feel bad for him, He also is not paying my mum enough money as in the England deffinitly there is this thing if you break up depending where you live and your kids amount whoever has them your meant to get money from the other half, Which my dad is doing, But not enough.
He also says he has no money which, He does, He just wastes it and on what i will not get in to (Not drugs or drink or ciggerettes), Then he says he misses taking us out, When, My dad never really takes us out and he is not affected by seeing us.
And to top it all off, He is in Malaysia right now with my stepmum as that is her home country, Did us kids, His ex my mum, His friends and neighbours, Or ANY family hear a word of it, No, He just went off and told no one, Then saying he misses us ect. When, We did not get told and 5 minutes ago he told me my stepmums uncle has cancer, My baby bro has got ill a lot and it has not been a holiday at all for them, Which all of those are true, But he does not stop going on about them and is trying to make me feel bad about it, (Don't ask what as i have no clue).
So i have been crying form all this and my mum is not happy at all now, So i am wondering after all this stuff my dad has done, Can i drop him? He has been nothing but trouble for us and my family and jsut makes me feel down, This is hard saying this about my own father, But the man has no idea what he is doing and is impossible to live with, He also wants another kid when the one they got, It is seriously not taken care off.

[Desuetude]

Your 15 and the age that you get to choose which parent to live with is 14.
Maybe talk to your mum about it, tell her you dont want to see him and see what she has to say about it. It sounds like after all the things she has been through she wont have any trouble with you cutting him out.
The problem is, your dad. He doesnt sound like he cares but if you say to him that you dont want to see him again that you are going to get some reaction. It will either be ok then and he will leave which is what you want or he will fight for you. If you really dont want to see him then you could maybe take it to court if you feel you have enough to argue that he isnt a good father. I know courts pretty expensive though so maybe thats not the best idea.
What im trying to get through is that at the age of 14 you get the decision to choose who you want to live with and with your dad not caring that should be easy to tell him.
Im sorry im not much help but im kinda mixed up about parents and custody as well.

[Auzzie 94]

Sad story man.. sorry to hear about all of that.. you can drop family... (my family basically disowned one of my Uncles who was drug addicted and had mild skizophrenia) he used to steal from the family and hit his parents (my Grandparents who are 70 and 76) if they didn't give him money. He would sell things from the house like my Grandfather's expensive watches and stuff at the local pawn shop. He even threatened to kill my Grandparents (his own parents).. in his mind everyone is out to get him and we've offered him help, taken him to counseling and taken him to rehab and he has refused everything.. He held a knife to my Grandad's throat and at that moment when I heard he did that.. I felt physically sick.. I would kill him if I ever saw him again. My Grandfather and Grandmother got a restraining order out on him and no one in the family talks to him anymore. My Grandparents kicked him out of their house (HE LIVED WITH THEM FOR 37 YEARS), my Grandma was finding it too hard to clean up after him and cook for him and she couldn't put up with the stress. They kicked him out and our whole family basically disowned him, so YES you can drop family. I am not going to tell you weather you should drop your Dad but I am just letting you know my story and letting you know that you can drop family. Sorry but mate... he did abuse you.. i'd report him to Old Bill for starters. You and your mother probably should have done that when he was abusing you both.... so I'm not sure if you could report him to the Police for that now but it's worth a try... and if you do drop him... make sure your Mum takes a restraining order/A.V.O out on him so he can't come within a certain distance from you and your Mother and he can't contact you by phone, fax, email or even Morse Code lmao... I'm not sure if you have restraining orders in England or if they are called something else but it's worth taking one out on him.. also you might want to approach your Mum about taking him to court over the lack of money he is paying her for child support.

[Dimentio]

No it is ok :) I live with my mum anyway but have to see him time to time, Like he acts like he misses us and stuff but he does not care, This issue i am having though is my heart is too big so it is like leaving him would kill me even though i hate him just because he is my dad, I also do have enough evidence if this was to go to court he is a bad father, His current kid right now is enough.

[Auzzie 94]

No it is ok :) I live with my mum anyway but have to see him time to time, Like he acts like he misses us and stuff but he does not care, This issue i am having though is my heart is too big so it is like leaving him would kill me even though i hate him just because he is my dad, I also do have enough evidence if this was to go to court he is a bad father, His current kid right now is enough.

That is messed up mate, someone has to step up and stand up against your Dad sounds like a proper mean guy.. all the best with it mate... sometimes you have to think with your brain instead of your heart (your Dad might severely hurt you or your Mum one day, God forbid! Hopefully that day NEVER EVER comes but in order to prevent it you must think with your brain and be smart about this)

[Desuetude]

That is messed up mate, someone has to step up and stand up against your Dad sounds like a proper mean guy.. all the best with it mate... sometimes you have to think with your brain instead of your heart (your Dad might severely hurt you or your Mum one day, God forbid! Hopefully that day NEVER EVER comes but in order to prevent it you must think with your brain and be smart about this)

I know what he means. Its hard to just forget about parents even if they are ruining your life. Im sensetive as well and i hate always letting people in when they dont deserve it.
I thought his mum and dad were split up. The mention of a step mum and his dad paying child fees kind of summed that up. so there is a lot less of a chance of him or his mum getting hurt.
Its a hard decision so dont just rush into it. I know it might seem as easy as to just say im never seeing you again but its not so dont pressure him.

[Dimentio]

I think my maine issue is older men, I grew up with an abbusive dad, My mums ex's were abusive more so then my dad and i am cuurently with a pedophile of a stepdad, So i have never had a father figure i can confid with so i just am a womans man ha ha, I would love an older person in my life i could trust but i see that as too late now!