self harming again...

[xxcupcakexx]

hi i'm Jessica/Jessi i'm 15 and i'm a self-harmer...i have been self harming since i was around 9.It started out with just scratching myself,biting myself and pinching myself (which i still do) then when i was about 11 i started getting made fun of because i was ''fat'' so i started making myself sick and starving myself a good bit right around that time i also started cutting myself and burning myself with basically boiling water and candles. this all started because i was and still am made fun of..i believe that i'm fat,ugly ect. cause i have heard it since i was pretty young it just all really starting to get to me when i was around 9...i stopped self harming last year for about 6 months then the bullying started again not just in person but cyber bullying to...i started doing everything again and its like this time i cant stop no matter how hard i try to i'm cutting more than i ever have before...my boyfriend is trying to help me with everything but it never really works...help please Ps.sorry for my bad spelling and grammar..oh i forgot to say i have tried to kill myself to

[anonymous53]

Hey Jessica. Welcome to VT.

I know, this probably won't say much, but please, self harm isn't worth it.

Is there anyone at home. or school you can tell to get help? Someone that you trust, an adult?

[xxcupcakexx]

my mom found out i cut but all she made me do was promise i wouldnt do it again (i broke that promise) and im home schooled cause i couldnt take being bullied in person anymore

[Teardrop Harmony]

When I was stopping my fella turned around and said every cut i maoe he will replicate on himself. I cut once qfter that statement never have since he made me wqtch him cut hikself. When you see someone you love and care for do.something like that and knowing you can stop that makes you forget about ur personal need for the painful release

[xxcupcakexx]

well...my boyfriend self harms also...so

[anonymous53]

my mom found out i cut but all she made me do was promise i wouldnt do it again (i broke that promise) and im home schooled cause i couldnt take being bullied in person anymore

Well, you should talk to your mother and ask her if she would consider getting you actual help? I know the feeling with homeschool, kinda stinks :|

[xxcupcakexx]

i dont know when but sometime soon-ish she is taking me to get tested for bipolar disorder

[anonymous53]

i dont know when but sometime soon-ish she is taking me to get tested for bipolar disorder

It's really good that you're at least going to get help. As to the cyber bullying, have you considered reporting it to the authorities?

[xxcupcakexx]

not really...i know it will keep happening so i dont really see the point

[anonymous53]

There is a point, maybe things will get better. If you sit back and let it happen, nothing will change.

Without action, everything stays the same. Stand up for yourself, if nothing else.