nightmare came true

[Ravenous1]

I just went through my worst mightmare. my mom found out i cut, she kept asking me questions. i answered only two. she asked if i was suicidal. im not and if i would tell her why i cut. which i said no. i told her i would tell her when im ready. she cried and said i love you i wish you wouldnt do this, tell me whats bothering you, please promise me you dont do it again. so i gave her the razor i had hidden in my psp. she wants to take me to a psychiratrist but i dont want to go, and i dont want to tell her why i cut because im not sure how she would react. For the people who dont know. the reason i cut is because the voices in my head tell me to, i have to listen to them if i dont i go through hell and they try to get me to kill myself. i dont want to die yet. After all this happened i feel really bad that i made my mom cry i just wish everyone didnt find out at all.

[Allky]

Just remember, you don't have to listen to those voices in your head.

Tell them to fuck off because they are only voices and can't harm you in any way, shape or form (whether they say they can or not). You don't -have- to cut. If you do want the voices to go away, you should seek a neurologist at your local hospital (don't worry, then won't send you to the "looney bin"). The most they can do is recommend you go to a psych and see what he/she thinks.

Good luck to ya!

[Mortal Coil]

Ok, first of all, I am really sorry your mom found out. I would probably kill myself if mine did.
Now, the fact of the matter is that those voices in your head are powerful, and do have control over you, so it really is best to see a therapist and get rid of them. Your mother doesn't have to know because of doctor-patient confidentiality (depending on where you live, I'm assuming the US.)
As long as you show signs of being otherwise mentally healthy, they won't throw you in the loony bin, and I honestly think it is best for you to see the psych, but DEFINITELY without your mother. And double-check before you start what the confidentiality guidelines are like, so you don't end up with your mom even more hurt because she found out.
Hope I helped,
Alex.

[Desuetude]

Im really sorry your mum found out, i know it's not easy and you dont wan to hurt her but whats going to hurt her more, you telling her the reasons and her being able to get you help and stick by you whilst you sort though your feelings and try to get back on track or her knowing that something is bad enough to make you cut and she hasnt known about it for so long and has not been there to get you though it and still she is unable to help you because you arnt letting her in.
I know its hard to hear but the best thing you can do now is tell her, she will be hurting a lot more if you dont and those voices wont go away until you get some help. You say you're not ready to die but the voices arnt making living any easier and they could drive you to insanity and thats one place where dying would seem like an easy option.
You should let her in, let her help you. It will make her feel better that she is able to do something and you need someone there for you, to know how you're feeling when you're at your worst so they can guide you though it without you having to cut.
Don't feel bad she found out. You need her, it was for the best.
Now it's up to you what you do but i really suggest you tell her everything. It is so much harder coping with it alone that with someone there.

[Ravenous1]

i dont want to hurt my mom anymore than i already have so I will tell her everything. she was going to find out eventually and was suspicious about it beforehand. Ik i need to see the therapist i will go. tbh i want my mom with me when i talk to them, id be more willing to talk to the person than going in alone. Thanks everyone for replying, it helps me to hear from you

[Desuetude]

i dont want to hurt my mom anymore than i already have so I will tell her everything. she was going to find out eventually and was suspicious about it beforehand. Ik i need to see the therapist i will go. tbh i want my mom with me when i talk to them, id be more willing to talk to the person than going in alone. Thanks everyone for replying, it helps me to hear from you

Its so great to hear that!
Im sure your mum will be a lot happier knowing the problem and being able to help and yes she probably was going to find out anyway so its better coming from you now.
I wish you all the best with the therapist and i hope everything gets better for you :)

[Ravenous1]

Thank you. when i go to the therapist, ill post a thread telling what all happened at the session.