More venting.

[Bath]

I've been so out of it. I feel like I'm living through a veil... I honestly feel no emotions at all anymore, except when I listen to music. That's it. When I listen to music I can feel happy, sad, whatever but everyday ordinary things just annoy me.

I'm scared to death every morning when I wake up for school. I'm seriously hoping to do my senior year online, this anxiety is terrifying. I don't know if I can make it through the rest of the year.

I'm staying up for days in a row, then crashing and sleeping forever.

It's not really highs and lows anymore, it's just a constant low. I feel dimmed, on a low humming buzz. Numb almost. Like I said, I would think I've turned completely empty if it weren't for music. Music is really the only connection I have to any feeling.

I don't care for anything anymore. I don't have any ambition.

I just want to sleep and eat and waste time. I don't ever want to leave my room. I'm so scared all the fucking time.

Scared and empty, that's all I am.

[Steve Jobs]

Hey Bethany. Let it out I'd say. Let it all come out and start fresh again. There were times I wanted to hide in a hole forever too. I realised it's not anyone's job to let me down and my ambitions and dreams, and the fulfillment of them all lay in my own hands.