fuck fuck fuck

[Desuetude]

My sister saw my knife cause im the biggest idiot ever and left it bloody lying around. She keeps asking e why I'm skyping so many people and who they are and did I meet them on vt. She keeps asking me about VT. I don't know what to do. How do I throw her off track?
I definitely don't want her knowing that her older, meant to be role model, sister is a complete fuck up and I don't want her to tell mum that I have a knife or something. I told her it was for cutting up my food and I don't think she believed me.
I know there is nothing I can do without bringing it up again but I was just really hoping someone else had some ideas? :-(

[painful paradice]

haa the knife... first off i want to say get rid of it, just a suggestion take it or leave it. won't fix your problem but it's easier to not do it if you don't have something around
i guess you could just try to wait it out. not my best answer ever but i'm not coming up with anything. wait it out try to duck out of her questions and she'll either forget or give up, hopefully
and you're not a complete fuck up. no one is a complete fuck up. it feels like that a lot but trust me you're not. i should know.
sorry i couldn't think of anything much

[Desuetude]

That's ok I didn't think anyone would come up with much anyway.
I guess I'll just wait it out then, thanks for taking the time to reply.

[WritingAuthor]

Well tell her that VT is just a website where teenagers can talk and disscuss things that should stop her asking about skype because well talk gave it away but, if she is under ten years old (Dosnt should like it if she knows what skype is) she will totally buy cutting up food. If she is older then hide the kinfe in a ninja location because if you try to throw it away you will probally end up coming back home with it so now the knife has disappeared then since she is younger then you and your 14 well she is young enough to not see it stop thinking it if you get what I mean and if she remembers and keeps asking I don't know maybe you could tell her that you was cutting up an apple to eat she wont think to go lookig through the knifes.

[Amaryllis]

Mmmm... Tough situation we have here. It's sucky when someone finds out. My mum and relatives found my blades(they tell each other everything) and my mum read every post on VT one time. Nutshell: We got into a huge fight and things went completely wrong. Buuut... Here's what I did:

1. Change your username
2. I hid my blades, I won't tell you where... But I'd say practice not using it. I haven't cut in -ages- but I still have it. It's about putting yourself in a situation where you could and perhaps want to cut and -not doing it-. Show yourself you can live without them.
3. Spend time with your sister and make sure you look happy.
4. Well... To be honest, unless you are sure you can stop cutting on your own, I'd say either go to your counsellor or find a psychologist, tell them you're suffering from depression but tell the professionals the truth. If they aren't helping, find another.

Good luck sweetpea. It's difficult and painful, I know. But it is possible and things get gradually better once you learn to resist hurting yourself.

[Mortal Coil]

First of all, I'm sorry about what's going on with your sister. My younger bro saw my semi-fresh cuts one time but I somehow managed to convince him that I wasn't cutting. Just tell your sister that VT is another social networking site like foursquare or something that you guys DON'T use/like.
If you bring the knife up again, she will get suspicious though. We tend to forget how smart kids are. So just don't mention it. If she asks, tell her you were using it on some fruit or something.
You're NOT a fuck up. I am, so I would know.

[Desuetude]

Well tell her that VT is just a website where teenagers can talk and disscuss things that should stop her asking about skype because well talk gave it away but, if she is under ten years old (Dosnt should like it if she knows what skype is) she will totally buy cutting up food. If she is older then hide the kinfe in a ninja location because if you try to throw it away you will probally end up coming back home with it so now the knife has disappeared then since she is younger then you and your 14 well she is young enough to not see it stop thinking it if you get what I mean and if she remembers and keeps asking I don't know maybe you could tell her that you was cutting up an apple to eat she wont think to go lookig through the knifes.

She is 11 but she is pretty clever for her age. Im just always on skype though, i find it so much easier talking to people on vt than the people around me. I have now hidden it as well as my notebook which she also found under my bed (i know stupid place to hide it) so hopefully she wont be gettign any more glimpses of it.

Mmmm... Tough situation we have here. It's sucky when someone finds out. My mum and relatives found my blades(they tell each other everything) and my mum read every post on VT one time. Nutshell: We got into a huge fight and things went completely wrong. Buuut... Here's what I did:

1. Change your username
2. I hid my blades, I won't tell you where... But I'd say practice not using it. I haven't cut in -ages- but I still have it. It's about putting yourself in a situation where you could and perhaps want to cut and -not doing it-. Show yourself you can live without them.
3. Spend time with your sister and make sure you look happy.
4. Well... To be honest, unless you are sure you can stop cutting on your own, I'd say either go to your counsellor or find a psychologist, tell them you're suffering from depression but tell the professionals the truth. If they aren't helping, find another.

Good luck sweetpea. It's difficult and painful, I know. But it is possible and things get gradually better once you learn to resist hurting yourself.

Hey, I'm sorry you fought with your mum. Im counting on my parents never finding out. I don't think i could cope if they did.
I have changed my username since i first joined as it had my name in it so hopefully thats ok.
Hiding is a bit of a problem as i have no hiding places that people havent found already. When i go to my dads i think my mum has a hunt though my room for god knows what anyway.
Spening time with my sister isnt really an option either, we used to be so close but lately ive been pushing anyone close to me away, i spend all my time alone in my bedroom. I just feel it's better that way. Anyway i wouldnt know what to do if i spent time with her.
i know it's going to sound stupid and idiotic but i dont think im ready to stop yet. I mean ive only been cutting for a few months and its literally the only thing i can do to get feeling out. When i first joined vt i posted a thread on how to get anger out and i got one reply. I have tried everything and cutting seems to be the only thing that works. If i did try and find help i wouldnt know the first place to start. Im 14, wouldnt i need perental supervision to see a therapist? Even if i didnt both parents keep me on a tight lead and i cant do ANYTHING without giving them every single detail about where im going, who im with, you get the picture.
Thank you for the advice though, i will bear it in mind for when i feel the need to stop :)

First of all, I'm sorry about what's going on with your sister. My younger bro saw my semi-fresh cuts one time but I somehow managed to convince him that I wasn't cutting. Just tell your sister that VT is another social networking site like foursquare or something that you guys DON'T use/like.
If you bring the knife up again, she will get suspicious though. We tend to forget how smart kids are. So just don't mention it. If she asks, tell her you were using it on some fruit or something.
You're NOT a fuck up. I am, so I would know.

Liek i said above, my sister is clever. i think she has already been on the site, and seen all teh forums but im definitly not bringing that up and giving her the idea to do so if she hasn't.
Yeah i know you're right. i wont talk about it again enless she brings it up.
*sigh* ive had people tell me that im not but i just cant seem to not think it. Tbh no one on here really knows my life and everything thats in it, some people are pretty close but no one knows everything so although your opinions mean an awful lot to me i dont think i can agree with you on that one.
Now saying that i would be a hypocrite to say you are not a fuck up. But what i will say is believe in your self, ive seen quite a few of your posts and you seem so lovely and caring and really connect with how people are feeling. You need to give yourself more credit than you do, you deserve it. <3

[TeddyBearRock]

you could say you were using it to get the battery out your phone

[Desuetude]

you could say you were using it to get the battery out your phone

yeah maybe, hopefully she has forgotton about it though and i'm not bringing it up again.

[Dimentio]

I am not to sure how to help you with the kinfe issue but i hate hearing people cut themseles and you have helped me a lot so i want to repay that favour :)
So if you want to talk i am always here for you!
I noticed you said "sister is a complete fuck up" That in youur thread which is not true, I have seen you help so much others and me! You are a very nice person :) What made you start cutting though?

[Auzzie 94]

Just say the knife you keep in your room as protection and you heard something outside so you got it out and put it on your bed just in case there was a robber or something. Tell her that you're Skyping with friends or something,you're not a fuck up, you've helped me alot, and I really want to thank you for it, so.. thank you :)

[Desuetude]

I am not to sure how to help you with the kinfe issue but i hate hearing people cut themseles and you have helped me a lot so i want to repay that favour :)
So if you want to talk i am always here for you!
I noticed you said "sister is a complete fuck up" That in youur thread which is not true, I have seen you help so much others and me! You are a very nice person :) What made you start cutting though?

Thanks I appreciate that :-)
Yeah its so much easier helping others than having to deal with your own problems.
Bleh, just everything really not one thing in particular. Some people would call it life.

Just say the knife you keep in your room as protection and you heard something outside so you got it out and put it on your bed just in case there was a robber or something. Tell her that you're Skyping with friends or something,you're not a fuck up, you've helped me alot, and I really want to thank you for it, so.. thank you :)

Haha that's an interesting one and yeah but then she wants to know who and it turns into a big whoha
Eh it's just my opinion but yeah and no problem anytime :-)

[Auzzie 94]

Well don't think of yourself as a fuck up, you're far from a fuck up. Holy shit.. I just realised your name has my name in it... Nikki! OMG! :D ! <3 !
It's interesting but it works... my brother's asked me why I keep my golf bag next to my bed.. I tell him the truth "It's incase anyone tries to break in" and he asked if he could keep his little soft-ball/base-ball bat next to his bed lol so I let him. I have a shit load of knives.. and it's not because I cut or anything, I don't cut at all but I keep them under lock and key in a tool box with a lock on it that's sitting in my wardrobe.. all of my knives are hunting knives, fishing knives and camping knives.. but I leave on knife in the drawer next to my bed incase of intruders. So it's a good excuse. When she asks who you're talking to just make up fake names and say you met them somewhere like ... at the mall... at the cinemas or something...

[Desuetude]

Well don't think of yourself as a fuck up, you're far from a fuck up. Holy shit.. I just realised your name has my name in it... Nikki! OMG! :D ! <3 !
It's interesting but it works... my brother's asked me why I keep my golf bag next to my bed.. I tell him the truth "It's incase anyone tries to break in" and he asked if he could keep his little soft-ball/base-ball bat next to his bed lol so I let him. I have a shit load of knives.. and it's not because I cut or anything, I don't cut at all but I keep them under lock and key in a tool box with a lock on it that's sitting in my wardrobe.. all of my knives are hunting knives, fishing knives and camping knives.. but I leave on knife in the drawer next to my bed incase of intruders. So it's a good excuse. When she asks who you're talking to just make up fake names and say you met them somewhere like ... at the mall... at the cinemas or something...

Haha did you just work that out :P

She hasnt asked about the knfe again yet so i wont bring it up but i'll be sure to keep it in mind if she does.
Yeah making up fake people is a good one but again shes so nosey, urgh. Thanks for the suggestions though.

[neverhavebeen223]

Just a couple of hiding suggestions. If its a small blade, hide it in a battery compartment of something. If its big, behind a picture? Also, might wanna invest in a smaller blade. Craft stores sell scalpels super cheap. 4 bucks is worth not getting caught

[Desuetude]

Just a couple of hiding suggestions. If its a small blade, hide it in a battery compartment of something. If its big, behind a picture? Also, might wanna invest in a smaller blade. Craft stores sell scalpels super cheap. 4 bucks is worth not getting caught

Thanks for that, i really aprecciate the suggestions. I guess you're right though. Might buy a smaller one next weekend then :)