The Rose

[Frankie66]

Ok, so for starters, this is one of my very first poems that actually sounds good, so any pointers would be good, thx :) :

The rose

Bid and red
Being placed
In a vase
Captivated by its beauty
Being nourished and fed
Being loved

It all comes to an end
It all starts to crumble
The colour getting drained; like a heart bleeding
Getting paler and paler
The beauty, not to be recognized
It gives way to its last tear

The tear of love

The rose it sits
And waits
Waiting to e re-loved
Wilting

Drooping
Like a frowning face
Sitting and waiting...

Finally, it's black

It gives up
And crumbles
Never to be loved again


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I am here: address removed. that was an extremely unsafe thing to do and i advise you do not do it again. -embers

[Tiggz]

beautiful :)

[Frankie66]

Thanks :)

[shatter..]

Lovely.

[Imm1ck3y]

awsum!

[Weeping_Angel]

Wow this poem is wonderful, although one minor change you should make, would be not to actually write the word rose in the poem. The readers should be able to know what it is by reading the poem. Instead of writing the rose you can write, the flower, the captivating beauty, but try to avoid using the word rose.

[Frankie66]

Thanks for the advice