1,000 Ways to get Kicked Out of Walmart

[Kdude146]

In each post, you post a funny way to get kicked out of Walmart. Also, make sure to number your ways. You can post more than one per post if you want. Our goal is to reach 1,000. I'll start:

1. come in with 3 of your friends then two of you sit down in the carts and the other two push them and you are now having a out of controle cart race

[Yehudis13]

2. Go to the produce isle, 'accidentally' drop a watermelon, causing it to break and caipusing all the watermelons to lose balance and tumbling down.

[Angel Androgynous]

3. When the loudspeaker comes on, curl up into a ball and scream: "The voices are back!"

[Kdude146]

4. Come in with an animal suit on and pretend to be that animal loose in wal mart

[ImCoolBeans]

5. Go up to every random woman you see and follow them around yelling "MOM?"

[Kdude146]

6. open all the food you like and say its a free sample

[Azunite]

7- tnt

[muddygrand]

8. Go barefoot and advertise your invisible shoes to everyone (i know from experience)

[Jupiter]

9. go around and masturbate in the dressing room

bt isnd dat nrml?!?!?!

[Dimitri]

11. Walk up to anyone and while looking at them pull out a lighter and say "I will start the fire for the sacrifice master....in a really creepy voice" and flick the lighter open and closed.

[Overcast]

12.

Go into a dressing room and scream "Theres no toilet paper in here!"

just to be fair got that of the web

[Dimitri]

13. Walk right up to someone and say "OMG, it has been so long since I last saw you, how are you doing?" Just to see if they play along....

[Kdude146]

14. put on sun glasses get a walking stick and bring your dog in with you and tell people your blind

[antiabort]

smoke "tobacco" in the bathroom and have the smoke detector go off... Not that i've ever done that of course.

[CoolStoryBro 15]

16. go into the bike section, take off all your clothes, and ride one of the bikes around the store naked while singing "Sexy And I know It"

[Invincible]

17. Run around and violently tap other customers in there, and say "Tag, you're it!" Then run away and intentionally crash into a shelf, bringing as many things down as possible.

[Texas warrior]

18. Go to the bb gun section, look for one that looks painful grab it, get a bike. Then ride around the store shooting people and singing 1-2-3 by rebel son.

[Say It Aint Tim]

19. Piss in the Aisle

[juliejuice]

20. Dart around suspiciously loudly humming the theme to Mission Impossible

[Fourth Dimension]

ohhh this is so easy for me my friends and i get kicked out of walmart all the time we go at 2am allot and get bored these are all things we have done

21. singing Hakuna Matatta at the top of your lungs
22. Throwing a ball yelling pikachu i choose you
23. playing dodgeball in the toy asile
24. Playing kick ball in the toy asile
25. playing vollyball in the toy asile
26. riding the bikes
27. sitting on the floor watching the tvs
28. opening blanket sets an having a sleepover in the blanket/pillow section
29. putting condoms in random carts and areas of the store
30. wrestling in the workout asile
31. singing just dance in the makeup asile
32. yelling profanitys at the fruit
33. playing apples to apples in the toy asile
34. sword fights with posters
35. story time in the book asile
36. pushing eachother in the carts
37. shopping cart chicken
38. eating food while going through the store
39. Dancing in the electronics asile
40. baseball in the toy and sports asiles
41. Take some steaks to the garden section and try to grill them
42. Hide N Go Seek

i will add more as they happen and the only reason we havnt been banned is cuz the manager is a family friend and yes we have had to pay for the things we have opened that couldnt be resealed and for the things we damaged or ate lol the only thing that we didnt have to buy were the blankets lol and yes they dont like us very well and try to follow us around at night when we go in as a group lol

[Texas warrior]

43. get laid in toy department, that was fun.
44. make a bond fire near the meet shelf and cook steak, bonus points for using polo shirts to start the fire.

[Fourth Dimension]

tonight we got kicked out for
45. doing a fashon show in the clothes asiles

[Jackl45]

46: Dwarf tossing tournament in the produce isle

[Sephtyan]

47: Cut a few strings to the marble [bags/nets] so that they stay in, though precariously, then pretend to smack your friend and send them all flying.
48: Try to climb various shelves around the store.
49: With a friend, try to hide from store employees in the most dramatic fashion imaginable [i.e. making "hushed" squeaks when they see you and duck behind something, then run away].
49.5: When one of them comes straight at you [this will probably be the manager], have you and your friend take off, doing anything you can to avoid him.
50: Spin EVERY cylindrically shaped item around so that it's label isn't showing. Also, Yey! 50!

[Inspiration]

51. Taking a giant dump on a Ryan Seacrest doll. (Get the reference, your cool)
52. Print out EXACT replicas of price tags on items that WERE on sale and then swap them out the next day. Since they "forgot" to remove the sale tag you get it for the sale price!
53. This one will send you to jail, LOVE YOU CRIMINAL MINDS! Somehow get atop the roof of a Walmart and have a gasmask and like a hazmat suit on. Begin to act like your pouring whatever is in the bag into the air vents, When you get arrested and they look into the bag they will see powder [Which they may think is anthrax XD]
54. Steal some items [How original ;/]
55. Walk in with your own bags with tin foil in them?
56. Take over a register that isn't open and play screamo through the intercom.
57. Another one that will get you arrested...Get a fake gun that looks real, preferbly a paint ball machine gun without the air ect ect. Have earplugs in, bring a few Build-A-Bears with pre-recorded messages like. "Mommy im scared!" "HELP!" and things like that. Anyway, walk into walmart with the gun concealed, go to an area where there is only one entrance and where there are no cameras. Take out the gun and play a recorded message of a gun sound. [Great if you have an Iphone or Android with a dock]. Say DONT MOVE I HAVE HOSTAGES! IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME I'LL MAKE ONE SCREAM!" this is where you activate the pre-recorded message of someone screaming. If they send security that you can see coming pick up a manakin and put the gun at its head, wave the manakin up and down really fast so they can't tell that its a manakin. Then tell them to step back or you will shoot, Ah what the hell shoot to the side of you and tell them if they get any closer another one dies. When they finally decide to come in run away and act like you were a hostage and say the killer escaped with your sister/brother.

[Haleyzmont]

58. Sit on the moving grocery checkout and say "WEEE"
59. Crash into candy isles with those kid bikes
59. Jump on an employees back
60. Throw pies a fat people
61. Take a pack of skittles, open it and throw it at employees saying "taste the damn rainbow!!!"
62. Fill up a water gun, going around squirting people while making kid gun sound effects "Pew, Pew"
63. Obviously stuff piles and boxes of candy in all your pockets and walk out with candy dripping out of your pockets

[User Deleted]

64. Steal a bike to ride around the store, then raid the tool isle to "borrow" an arc welder and other various tools to convert it to a unicycle. Proceed to steal clearance makeup to pose as a clown and throw on some heavy winter gear so when you fall it wont hurt as bad. Next attempt an Ollie, and of course, epicly fail. On this epic fail you manage to somehow start a fire igniting the cloths isle. While the manager is busy telling their employees to ignore it and keep working take a hatchet to her door and raid the money. When the cops come have your munchkin warriors ready to fend for you. As the massacre ends in the cops loosing to fleets of *innocent* children steal the ob as manager. Higher pole dancers and a DJ to turn all of the super wallmart into a massive strip club. After finished with the strip club return the wallmart to the original manager and blame everything on them. As the new cops are busy believing you allow the next in line to take over walmart and kick you out.

[Inspiration]

65. Take a loud Stereo up to a closed register and activate the intercom and play "I'm Sexy and I know it."

[Electra Heart]

66. Perform an Occult ritual in the middle of aisle 4 using the greeter as a sacrifice. Spill his/her blood upon the ground and feed his/her organs to a virgin goat. then set them both on fire in the middle of a pentagram made of cool ranch diritos...

[Fourth Dimension]

Tonight we did
67. Singing and dancing to the pokemon theme song in the toy asile

Sent from my HTC Inspire 4G using Tapatalk Pro

[User Deleted]

68. Loitering directly in front of the bathroom of the opposite gender.

[Breakeven]

69- lol look at the number i got :p
go up to some old geezer and say "Grandpa!!! you're ALIVE!!!!!!! its a MIRACLE!!! :O

[CryWolf]

70- Pretend to have a hunched back and walk up to everyone while you're holding a package of chicken wings and ask, "Where can I try these on?"

[Princess Ariel]

71- Grab the phone, go on the intercom and say something odd. like "Emma Watson is looking at the Breaking Dawn DVD's and will give you a 50% discount on it"

[User Deleted]

69- lol look at the number i got :p
go up to some old geezer and say "Grandpa!!! you're ALIVE!!!!!!! its a MIRACLE!!! :O

What if you were right and they were your long lost grandpa, then you went skydiving and sang songs and there was a cake with eyes!... or something.

72- do the worm in the front door

[Texas warrior]

73. go to the liquor section get drunk then pore anything above 100proof on to the ground and start a fire.
74. anonce you have the biggest boner in the world and tell anyone that wants to see it to come to the meat department.
75. race dirt bikes around the store.

[User Deleted]

76- Start smacking employ's butts, especially that of the same gender.

[kevinrules98]

77- Run around screaming profanities!!

[Bubbawhack]

78. Bring friends and have a nerf gun fight

[Bubbawhack]

79. go to sleep in one of the display beds

[User Deleted]

80- Using a squirt gun on the towels to "test their absorbency"

[John g]

21.run around in the store and punch people and say levle up!

[User Deleted]

82. Piss off a buff guy, who said anything about employees, the buff guy will even add a literal touch.

[project_icarus]

23. Play dead just in the entrance/other high traffic area

[Electra Heart]

84. Go to the soil aisle, dump all of it in a huge pile and spin around on it scream-singing- THE HILLS ARE ALIIIIIIIVE WITH THE SOUND OF MUUUUUSSICCCCC!!!!!! Then piss in the aquarium section (if you have one...)

[northskater110]

85. Beat the shit out of the welcome person.

[jbs1125]

86. Piss on the produce, or on the clothes

[Texas warrior]

87. challenge to cashier to a duel with revolvers, and if he says no run around shooting out the windows on the ceiling.

[CryWolf]

88-Go to the bathroom and play recorded sounds of a tuba

[User Deleted]

89. Run around the video game isle yelling "The noobs are coming the noobs are coming!"

[dinosaur_go_rawr]

90. Go get your stuff and go pay for it at the checkout. When she tells you how much it is , pull out a toy gun and shout "SILENCE I KILL YOU"

91. Drive a car into the store
92. Make a baby puke on the checkout lady
93. Ask where they sell the DVD players but say it in a funny voice so they cant understand you. When they go what, keep saying it. They will then go get the manager and then say to the manager "me no speek eenglissssh"
94. Shove all the chewing gun that they sell in your mouth and try and walk out.
95.run in screaming "I LIKE TRAINS, WHOA OA OA!!"

[Chris95]

96. Kick a baby

[Texas warrior]

97. walk in the store with a joint the size of a cigar and light up when you walk in the door.

[helloagain97]

98. Get on the louse speaker and say (attention all customers testicals that is all)

[yourmom32]

99. Ride a tricycle and when a guy tells you to get off kick him in the balls and keep riding it!

[chancebest]

100.Puke in the veggies

[Texas warrior]

101. switch out a bag of sugar with a bag of coke.

[project_icarus]

102. Become a human advertisement board, and yell out the advertisements at the top of your lungs.

[Electra Heart]

Put on a random blanket and run around screaming, "YOU CAN'T SEE ME! I HAVE THE INVISIBILITY CLOAK!" Y'know, run around grabbing chick's chests and dude's crotches xD fun times

[Danny016]

104. play a more safer version of the Hunger Games (make sure you make this a facebook event so you get a lot of people)
105. pretent to be a police oficer and go up to random people and tell them to leave
106. food fight inside the Mcdonalds
107. super glue a penny to the floor
108. roll back all candy to a $1.00

[Unsolvedmind]

109: Pretend to get mad at the game and scream swear words out loud
110: Play football all around the sore
111: get a bunch of people and play mission impossible game and have to be stealthy the whole time and use finger guns and say "pew pew'

[Texas warrior]

112. shave the store managers head

[Thunduhbuhlt]

113. Get a box of V8's and run around slapping random people yelling, "Could have had a V8!"

[Texas warrior]

114. go into the woman's room, naked, wearing a condom.
115. race around the store on trikes, high and blindfolded.
116. take a nap on a register.

[Gordo]

117. race the electric carts they have

[Electra Heart]

118. Sit on the grocery carousel thing, spin around on it, and say WEEEEE!!!!

[MJohn]

119. Blow some condoms and throw it everywhere like there's a party.

[Reagan Smash Bros]

120. Hide in the middle of clothes rack and when someone looks through them keep saying, "Pick me! Pick me!"

[canadaski]

121. Drop your pants, lay down on the frozen fish and start masturbating
122. Go running around the store with a toy guitar singing moon river
123. Play golf using different landmarks in the store as targets.

[khila]

124. FUS RO DAH all the aisles over
125. go up to the store manager and say "im the boss"
126. whip your hair back and forth into peoples faces

[Danny016]

127. tell a group of 12 year old girls that Justin Bieber is in the store
128. buy a lot of stuff and then sit outside the store and sell it all for even less then walmart
129. have sex in a tent in the camping part of the store
130. make a youtube blog about how much you hate walwart inside of walmart

[Electra Heart]

131. Pull down your pants, wear them over your head after drenching them in vinegar, and proceed to lick the greeter until he/she shoves you off, then you eat them :3

[iallen]

132 pants a stock boy

[iallen]

133 punch a lady with a baby

[Skeptical Bear]

134. Bring your domesticated bear inside and make people think it's going to eat everyone.

[Buranri]

135. Run through the aisles shirtless screaming "THE BRITISH ARE COMING!"

[MaximumR]

136. Give the cashiers an unwanted strip tease

[Toothpick]

137. Take out all the Legos and build with them... then throw them around.

[Mirage]

138.) Go sit in the ice freezer and pop out and scare people when they open it!

[Heatbomb21]

139.)

Successfully use the new iPhone demo on display before it's taken away for theft attempt.

[Fourth Dimension]

140. driving the power chair cart thingy around singing a medley of cher songs at the top of your lungs

[User Deleted]

141 Starting a flash mob to run around dragging sharpies on the floor.

[Soccer-is-life]

142- (true story) have a sword fight in front of a group of trannys and have your friend knock your sword out of your hand and hit the tranny in the face. Then have them call security.

[Darknova8]

Run through the walmart naked.

[handle with care]

143 lick the cashier

[WaffleSingSong]

144. Get all your schoolmates to dress as Nazi's and then march all though the store reciting Mien Kampf (True story, but I only did it with like 20 of them and some cousins XD)
145. Do reenactments of Jackass

[handle with care]

145 drop kick the shelves

[WaffleSingSong]

147: Chase young kids while wearing a pedobear costume with Ongio Bongo's "I love Little Girls" song on the intercom.
148: Get a lot of males with jock straps and gay flags prance around saying things like "IM A FAG!" *especially works in southern areas :D

[Jay_Team_Swagg]

149: Open up a bag of pringles and watch the ingredients that are in the store explode. Just like in the commercial

[chrisawesome]

150.) Get a friend to dress up like an employee to go up to people and say "Watch out our garden sprinklers are misfunctioning." You and two other friends stand on the top storage rack of the garden center and piss on customers, aiming your dick in tandom going left to right.

[ProudConservative]

151) Walk in with items from Target, replace them on the shelfs. Put Walmart merchandise next to restrooms. Watch the magic begin.

[ReginaGeorge]

Punch an employee in the face.

I'm sure that will work, but don't take my word for it. :rolleyes:

[ProudConservative]

This is probably also a way to land yourself in a government maximum security prison, but 153)Take in a grenade launcher and threaten to shoot the place.

[The Chameleon]

154
Start playing with Star Wars light sabers and start opening toys and playing with them.

[Silicate Wielder]

155 take over their TV network in the electronics section and play porn on it... at full blast.

[PrimedPenguin]

156. Ride one of the bikes around the store and the strategically park it in a bathroom stall.

[DarkHorse4eva]

157) Cook meth in the middle of the store

[Snookers]

158. ride a horse into walmart and yell: " FOR LADY GAGA !!" whilst punching everyone in your way with a dildo.

[Skyline]

159. In the middle of the store drop to the ground, and scream I'm drowning while having a spaz attack.

[jayyy-lmao]

160.
Go up to an assistant and say "Do you sell meth/cocaine?"

[AkuRokuStalker]

go into the camping section and get in a tent and offer people snickers if they get you a pillow from the bed section

Challenge people to lightsaver duels

Steal somone walkitalkie and say some off the walls thing and when they respond say "Why are you talking about my mother like that?!"

make a trail of tomatoe juice to the bathroom

set the alarm clocks at five minute intervals

put a virus on the computers

go up to an asistant grab their hand and say "I see dead people" in a realy creepy calm childish voice

I have so many more lol

[CharlieHorse]

168 (counting his^)
Streak through the kids toy aisles

[chrisawesome]

Piss in all of the blenders on the display self

[Silicate Wielder]

169.Install minecraft on all their laptops the manual way (Wal-mart dosn't supply internet :()
170.Hijack there radio and play REALLY BAD music.
171.Walk in wearing a fake arc reactor, with fake shards of metal and glass over you and have fake blood all over you saying "WHERES IS HE? WHERE IS HE? WHERE DID HE GO??"
172.Have a concert in the gardening section
173.Run around and teepee the inside of the store
174.Take a T-Shirt cannon and launch smoke bombs with it
175.Take a boom box (do they even have those still??) and wire it up to wal-marts speaker setup, put in ear plugs, turn it on and play loud music and then turn the volume all the way up. (MAXIMUM DECIBEL!!)

[Gaybaby94]

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RHiEpboQ4fI.

All the answers are funny. But I have done this one here. Not the same reaction but it's still funny.

[GummyUnicornDerp]

Take the explosives from party poppers and glue them inside cards and set them back in so they explode when opened.

[Twilly F. Sniper]

178: Go up to a customer with a knife in your hand.
179: Steal balloons and breathe in their helium.
180: Argue about the price of a candy bar violently.

[Silicate Wielder]

Start a campfire in the gardening section.
Play a fake alien transmition on the TV's in the TV section.
Walk around in a Gurren Lagann costume, running around pretending to battle as if the shelves were other mecha

[PinkFloyd]

184. Run naked through the store!
185. Try to sell weed to the manager.
186. Go batshit crazy with a water gun...
187. Start a food fight.
188. have a shopping cart race.
189. play shopping cart bumper cars.
190. Scream CLUSTERFUCK! as laud as you can 20 times.
191. ride around in the store with a bike that's for sale.
192. use the PA system...
193. pretend to have a seizure.
194. duct tape random things to other random things.
195. Throw footballs at random people.
196. ask random people to have sex with you in the bathroom.
197. Let farm animals into the store... (cows, chickens, etc.)
198. Smash stuff with a baseball bat.
199. Attempt to shoplift.
200. Put wet dloor signs everywhere.

[Gaybaby94]

201. Go to the medical section, get adult diapers, mess in them, and put it in someone's cart.

[ShatteredWings]

202. show up in a fursuit unannounced.

(Not that I've done this... it'd be fun tho)

[CharlieHorse]

203 Hoard all the my little pony merchandise and attack anyone who goes near it screaming
"For Celestia!"

[Abyssal Echo]

204 run naked thru the store yelling fire